Please guide me through this..

My boyfriend works 9 to 5 and he always comes tired. He says he's tired and doesn't wants to talk but spends his whole night watching anime and playing games. What should I do. I want to spend time with him .

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Tell him how you feel, organize activities that you guys can do together on the weekends, encourage him to take some time off, watch anime and play games with him
Good luck with your relationship

Reply 2

Zarek

21

These things are additive. Mind you, if it’s his main hobby he’s due some time for it. Perhaps try to agree some ring-fenced time together

Reply 3

username7144506

0

7

Original post by Mikkaaaaaaaaaa

My boyfriend works 9 to 5 and he always comes tired. He says he's tired and doesn't wants to talk but spends his whole night watching anime and playing games. What should I do. I want to spend time with him .

Distance yourself a little and I'm sure he'll come closer.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by hairyswordsman

Distance yourself a little and I'm sure he'll come closer.

Don’t do this, he might not even notice or might think you want out of the relationship and break up or distance himself more

Reply 5

username7144506

0

7

Original post by Anonymous

Don’t do this, he might not even notice or might think you want out of the relationship and break up or distance himself more

If he doesn't notice then clearly his head is elsewhere. I don't agree with the latter, I should have suggested how long to avoid him. He's likely to question her if he actually cares.

Reply 6

Dunnig Kruger

18

Imagine if your boyfriend doesn't exist and had never existed. What would be the very best thing for you to do Monday to Thursday between 5.30 PM and your going to bed time?

Do work to build up your own ethical business?
Get training to help you build up a successful business?
Go out and socialise with friends?
Go and do activities outside the home? Linked to some passion or hobby of yours, such as playing a sport, going to concerts, comedy clubs, cinema etc?
Cook delicious, healthy, nutritious meals?
Learn how to cook delicious nutritious healthy meals?
Do some hobby or passion based at your home? Work on your model railway in the attic? Watch Eastenders? Read Lord of the Rings?
Do some chore or work at home? Redecorate, renovate the bathroom, service and repair your car?
Something else worthwhile because it's rewarding or enjoyable or urgent and important?

Some combination of the above?

This is an effective 2 pronged approach.
1 Doing something positive with your time will increase your boyfriend's attraction towards you. How much will depend. It's difficult to say as he's taking you for granted and is so addicted to his gaming and anime. So you do have an uphill battle here. What you will have done by maximising your evening time is to make yourself into a significantly more attractive person. Because it's not just you doing a load more rewarding / enjoyable stuff than you used to, it's the underlying mentality that you will have in doing so.
The fear of missing out can be a strong motivator. If your boyfriend fears that he's missing out, he might get off that couch of his.
2 The general quality of your life will improve by you making good decisions on what you do with your mid-week evening time.

Keep asking yourself "What else?" What else could you be doing that's better than what you're doing right now. If it's something better: do that.

Reply 7

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Usually it just boils down to saying, "we haven't been able to spend much time together lately, what kind of things could we do?" and then make some suggestions.

A 9-5 job should not leave someone incapable of maintaining a relationship in their downtime.

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Original post by Mikkaaaaaaaaaa

My boyfriend works 9 to 5 and he always comes tired. He says he's tired and doesn't wants to talk but spends his whole night watching anime and playing games. What should I do. I want to spend time with him .

Break up. You deserve better.

Reply 9

mvixig

3

Original post by Mikkaaaaaaaaaa

My boyfriend works 9 to 5 and he always comes tired. He says he's tired and doesn't wants to talk but spends his whole night watching anime and playing games. What should I do. I want to spend time with him .

red flag run run run run run

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Original post by Mikkaaaaaaaaaa

My boyfriend works 9 to 5 and he always comes tired. He says he's tired and doesn't wants to talk but spends his whole night watching anime and playing games. What should I do. I want to spend time with him .

From the sounds of it, both of you are the problem. I understand that he's tired and wants time to relax but at the same time, he's ignoring you and I can guess that it's making you feel rubbish. On the other hand, it doesn't sound like you've talked to him abt it. You can also try and watch and play with him so it also counts as bonding time. Talk to him abt it and if there aren't any changes, then i guess you have a decision to make.

Please guide me through this..

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