Should I live with this person?

Hi Guys, I may or may not be living with my old university friend this year. I think I get some bad vibes from him I don't know why it's just I have to sign up to live with him I think it is a bad idea. The reason why I have known him through university and just think he's quite dodgy, I know we are all weird in our way, However, this person just seems off to me, I know should not be saying this if he is my friend, but like he's not contacted me for years, he told me has had some personal issues and that he was sectioned. And that also his nan passed away.

I get that part of the reason he wants me to live with him is due to his situation. And he said to me it is nice an estate house with cheap rent, I know that sounds all good to be true, but something tells me there is something off. I spoke to some of my friends about it and they said I don't think you should do it as I told them everything about him. I know this sounds like I am a bad friend but it's not like he has ever reached out to me but only messaged our other old group of friends whom we don't speak with much anymore.

And never once thought to message me or call me I reached out to him. To be honest, people can change but I think what you will see is what you get I don't think this guy has changed and I don't think he has ever really been a friend back in University as well. Just think he will take advantage of me living with him I am honest. My main goal is to try. and find a place to live and maybe start fresh to live with new people and try to gain some confidence within myself and independence.

Just asking for some advice inn what should do?

Reply 1

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Other than it being cheap, I don't think you've listed a single positive aspect to living with him, so I don't know why you'd consider it much?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Admit-One

Other than it being cheap, I don't think you've listed a single positive aspect to living with him, so I don't know why you'd consider it much?

Probably because it is cheap rent I did not want to **** him off I just think I spoken the truth about him we were friends in Uni but I don't think we were close friends and to say come live with me out of the blue and he has not contacted me for years.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Probably because it is cheap rent I did not want to **** him off I just think I spoken the truth about him we were friends in Uni but I don't think we were close friends and to say come live with me out of the blue and he has not contacted me for years.

don’t live with him

Reply 4

StriderHort

21

You haven't really told us much to go on tbh, we're just talking about vibes, unspecified dodginess and something feeling off - none of which we can see or feel.

If you don't want to live with the guy then don't.

Reply 5

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

Probably because it is cheap rent I did not want to **** him off I just think I spoken the truth about him we were friends in Uni but I don't think we were close friends and to say come live with me out of the blue and he has not contacted me for years.

Again, you don't sound at all interested in living with him, (and why would you, you've been out of contact for ages and didn't sound especially close prior to that). Just tell him that you appreciate the offer but are making other plans.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Probably because it is cheap rent I did not want to **** him off I just think I spoken the truth about him we were friends in Uni but I don't think we were close friends and to say come live with me out of the blue and he has not contacted me for years.

The back story is he did not treat like a friend in Uni and he had a group friends that they did not get a along with him any more and they liked me a lot better than him and those friends treated me like part of the group and he seemed jealous of me when I was part of the group so I guess in turn saw me as a threat. So we had some beef back and fourth, and then apologised to me at the end of it. By the sound of all of this I just think I can do better with people who want to actually spend time with me and that people who want give me confidence and treat me kindly rather than put me down half the time.

Hopefully this makes a bit more sense and to understand were I am coming from.

Reply 7

Methene

16

Original post by Anonymous

The back story is he did not treat like a friend in Uni and he had a group friends that they did not get a along with him any more and they liked me a lot better than him and those friends treated me like part of the group and he seemed jealous of me when I was part of the group so I guess in turn saw me as a threat. So we had some beef back and fourth, and then apologised to me at the end of it. By the sound of all of this I just think I can do better with people who want to actually spend time with me and that people who want give me confidence and treat me kindly rather than put me down half the time.
Hopefully this makes a bit more sense and to understand were I am coming from.

He sounds like someone you wouldn't want to live with, so why are you considering it? Do you feel pressured to do so?

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Methene

He sounds like someone you wouldn't want to live with, so why are you considering it? Do you feel pressured to do so?

I guess I feel pressured in some way, but if I tell him and then if he starts calling me and messaging me than that's no friend at all. If I say thanks for the offer but I am looking for other plans and he does not respect my decision and tries to manipulate me then i will block him and it says it all in terms of "Friend ship "

Reply 9

Methene

16

Original post by Anonymous

I guess I feel pressured in some way, but if I tell him and then if he starts calling me and messaging me than that's no friend at all. If I say thanks for the offer but I am looking for other plans and he does not respect my decision and tries to manipulate me then i will block him and it says it all in terms of "Friend ship "

Absolutely. As the others have said, if it's something you don't feel comfortable doing then there is no reason not to politely decline their offer. And as you've mentioned, any form of backlash to such a decision is an ample opportunity to cut ties with someone who's never really seemed to respect you...

Should I live with this person?

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