I feel like I'm failing at life

I(19f), have just finished my first year at uni and im back home for the summer. My first year has been fun and I did make some friends by putting my self out there and joining societies like everyone always says. I've been back home for 2 months now and I can't help but notice that people don't want to meet up/make plans with me.

I am hopeful that the summer will look up, I will meet up with some friends next month, and my sister and I, are going to Paris together soon for a week which should be fun.

It's depressing but its true,I feel like my sister is the person who values my company the most right now. I love my sister but she should not be my most meaningful social connection at almost twenty years old.

All the time, I see my sister (23), going out and making exciting plans with her friends (from uni). In comparison, I can't help but feel like I'm failing at life. I've spent my summer doing odd shifts at mcds and binge watching abbott elementary; my social calender is completely open. I can't help but speculate that maybe I'm the problem if I struggle to make meaningful social connections.

Now, I do have a few friends from back home that I can hang out with in theory, but in practise they are all working and not good enough friends with each other to make group plans yk?

I feel like I have the same problem now, that I had from y11-y13. I have friends but I can only really meet up with them individually. I've struggled to really fit in with a 'friend group'. All my friends are probably better friends with people I either don't know or aren't as close with. Or worse they're closer with each other than me and then I feel like a perpetual third wheel.

This has led to my current situation where I honesly feel so lonely. I'm an introvert so I enjoy some time to myself, but this summer has been super depressing.

So, am I the problem? Does anyone have any advice for me going into second year?

Reply 1

jay2013

Some of us don't ever fit in with a "friend group". That's the reality of life for some people. You just have to learn to live with it.

Or maybe you're just boring and that's why nobody wants to make plans with you? What's the most exciting thing you've ever done?

Reply 2

katana10000

Focus on your studies. You will make friends when the time is right.

Reply 3

username7171318

Hey wanna get to know eachother?

Reply 4

Zarek

I’ve had similar problems. It’s great that you have such a positive relationship with your sister, don’t underestimate the value of this. I feel there are people whose personality better suits one to one friendship rather than groups. Going away to uni does also take you out of the loop of friends back home.

In answer to your question I have not been able to suss why some people are more popular that others and I’m often at the periphery, but I would recommend seeking out a smaller number of closer friends