struggling with shared accom
hi, i’ve just finished my first year and i’ve just moved into my accom for my second year.
to make a long story short, my uni is small and up until very recently offered accommodation to students for the full duration of their course. huge influx of applications happened and they had to change it. so i had to look at other places. my friends all joined shared housing together and so i went looking for places with one other person on my course. we put down a deposit but eventually she pulled out of the house share after i’d already signed a lot of the documents.
i just moved into my new place and i’m terrified. i have autism so new places and new people are bad enough for me. i feel scared to go into the kitchen in case someone else comes in while i’m there, and i feel absolutely terrified to speak to my housemates. i would have been fine with someone else supporting me but now it’s my job to do the talking.
shared accommodation is literally all i can afford though. i can’t really move somewhere more private because it’s way too expensive for me and unfortunately i’m not far enough in my autism evaluation process to have a diagnosis to show to my uni. i found it out later in life and i’m still in the ‘fill out these quizzes’ stage of talking to my doctor. so there’s not much that can be done at all with moving.
i’m mainly just looking to see if what i’m feeling isn’t totally irrational, or if there’s any other people in a similar situation to me. i haven’t been able to find much discussions on this topic. i’m really sorry if this post feels trauma-dumpy, i had no idea where else to put these thoughts
to make a long story short, my uni is small and up until very recently offered accommodation to students for the full duration of their course. huge influx of applications happened and they had to change it. so i had to look at other places. my friends all joined shared housing together and so i went looking for places with one other person on my course. we put down a deposit but eventually she pulled out of the house share after i’d already signed a lot of the documents.
i just moved into my new place and i’m terrified. i have autism so new places and new people are bad enough for me. i feel scared to go into the kitchen in case someone else comes in while i’m there, and i feel absolutely terrified to speak to my housemates. i would have been fine with someone else supporting me but now it’s my job to do the talking.
shared accommodation is literally all i can afford though. i can’t really move somewhere more private because it’s way too expensive for me and unfortunately i’m not far enough in my autism evaluation process to have a diagnosis to show to my uni. i found it out later in life and i’m still in the ‘fill out these quizzes’ stage of talking to my doctor. so there’s not much that can be done at all with moving.
i’m mainly just looking to see if what i’m feeling isn’t totally irrational, or if there’s any other people in a similar situation to me. i haven’t been able to find much discussions on this topic. i’m really sorry if this post feels trauma-dumpy, i had no idea where else to put these thoughts
Original post by tombtaker
hi, i’ve just finished my first year and i’ve just moved into my accom for my second year.
to make a long story short, my uni is small and up until very recently offered accommodation to students for the full duration of their course. huge influx of applications happened and they had to change it. so i had to look at other places. my friends all joined shared housing together and so i went looking for places with one other person on my course. we put down a deposit but eventually she pulled out of the house share after i’d already signed a lot of the documents.
i just moved into my new place and i’m terrified. i have autism so new places and new people are bad enough for me. i feel scared to go into the kitchen in case someone else comes in while i’m there, and i feel absolutely terrified to speak to my housemates. i would have been fine with someone else supporting me but now it’s my job to do the talking.
shared accommodation is literally all i can afford though. i can’t really move somewhere more private because it’s way too expensive for me and unfortunately i’m not far enough in my autism evaluation process to have a diagnosis to show to my uni. i found it out later in life and i’m still in the ‘fill out these quizzes’ stage of talking to my doctor. so there’s not much that can be done at all with moving.
i’m mainly just looking to see if what i’m feeling isn’t totally irrational, or if there’s any other people in a similar situation to me. i haven’t been able to find much discussions on this topic. i’m really sorry if this post feels trauma-dumpy, i had no idea where else to put these thoughts
to make a long story short, my uni is small and up until very recently offered accommodation to students for the full duration of their course. huge influx of applications happened and they had to change it. so i had to look at other places. my friends all joined shared housing together and so i went looking for places with one other person on my course. we put down a deposit but eventually she pulled out of the house share after i’d already signed a lot of the documents.
i just moved into my new place and i’m terrified. i have autism so new places and new people are bad enough for me. i feel scared to go into the kitchen in case someone else comes in while i’m there, and i feel absolutely terrified to speak to my housemates. i would have been fine with someone else supporting me but now it’s my job to do the talking.
shared accommodation is literally all i can afford though. i can’t really move somewhere more private because it’s way too expensive for me and unfortunately i’m not far enough in my autism evaluation process to have a diagnosis to show to my uni. i found it out later in life and i’m still in the ‘fill out these quizzes’ stage of talking to my doctor. so there’s not much that can be done at all with moving.
i’m mainly just looking to see if what i’m feeling isn’t totally irrational, or if there’s any other people in a similar situation to me. i haven’t been able to find much discussions on this topic. i’m really sorry if this post feels trauma-dumpy, i had no idea where else to put these thoughts
Hello, Coventry University Student Ambassador here!👋
Moving into a shared accommodation, which essentially strangers, can be so nerve-wrecking. I've experienced the same exact issue during my first year at university, I was very nervous to spend time and cook in the kitchen while my flatmates were there, even though I am a normally social person, and do not have autism, so in a way this was even more irrational for me 🤣. This feeling or fear can be hard to overcome, especially at the beginning, mainly due to the fact that you are in a new and unknown environment, and since you are not used to it, the feeling of even that being disrupted (for example by your housemates interacting or being in the common area) can become unbearable.
That being said, this is not an irrational fear at all, and most people experience it, even extroverts and socially skilled people, albeit perhaps not to an extreme. Have you tried reaching out to the mental health services provided by your university? Those people are professionals and can help teach you coping techniques, or get to the root of why you are feeling this way, or what you can do to avoid high levels of stress while interacting with your housemates.
On a more lively note, you will get used to this, but it does take time and can be dauting, I used to be stressed out of my mind in my first year of studying because of this, and though I wouldn't be able to get over it, but I just finished my third year and I'm happy to say you can become indifferent to this situation overtime and overcome it!
Hope this helps a little with knowing you stand in solidarity with so many other students that feel this way!
Bianca
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