Haven’t seen things from me? What does my bf mean. Cried all night

Hey guys I’m devastated and been crying all night not sure if I’m being dramatic but
I (26) bf (37) was talking and I asked him about the future and said I wanna be married or engaged in 4 years. I’ve been with him for 3 but seriously together let’s see roughly 2.

He said I have a lot of things to improve on in order for marraige which may be true as I live with my mum she does everything or me so I wouldn’t say I’m wife material right now lool but neither is he. Before this He said he hasn’t seen yet what he wants to see from me. He said I said I don’t wanna get married or kids soon so why does it matter now. Anyways I got really upset about this and don’t know how to shake it off. Have I got a right to be upset I cried all night my eyes r sore

Reply 1

StriderHort

You're admitting openly you're not presently 'wife material' which I assume is timed in some way to independence and experience... so is he wrong? Why do you think he isn't husband material just now. If you hold these sort of opinions just now then surely marriage isn't the best choice yet?, beyond some arbitrary 'years' thing?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

Hey guys I’m devastated and been crying all night not sure if I’m being dramatic but
I (26) bf (37) was talking and I asked him about the future and said I wanna be married or engaged in 4 years. I’ve been with him for 3 but seriously together let’s see roughly 2.
He said I have a lot of things to improve on in order for marraige which may be true as I live with my mum she does everything or me so I wouldn’t say I’m wife material right now lool but neither is he. Before this He said he hasn’t seen yet what he wants to see from me. He said I said I don’t wanna get married or kids soon so why does it matter now. Anyways I got really upset about this and don’t know how to shake it off. Have I got a right to be upset I cried all night my eyes r sore

What sort of wife material do you not have and what does he expect?
What sort of husband material does he not have and what do you want?
No point into going into marriage with neither parties not being suitable for each other therefore no point in talking about it at the moment.
What did he say that made you cry so much?

Reply 3

Zarek

It’s not a very nice thing to say to your partner. Unless he’s got some significant redeeming features I’d seriously consider kicking him in to touch. You can likely do better

Reply 4

Trinculo

Original post

by Zarek

It’s not a very nice thing to say to your partner. Unless he’s got some significant redeeming features I’d seriously consider kicking him in to touch. You can likely do better

This is the worst advice I have seen on this forum this year. It's a full-on cat lady starter pack.

Reply 5

StriderHort

Original post

by Trinculo

This is the worst advice I have seen on this forum this year. It's a full-on cat lady starter pack.

Yeah I need to agree tbh. The OP themselves is telling you they're not yet ready for things to go further.

Reply 6

Dunnig Kruger

Half the country will be crying their eyes out tonight. After that 86th minute goal from Spain. 😂

You should dump your feckless, overly judgemental 37 year old boyfriend.

What do you think you need to improve to turn yourself into the joint best wife in the world?
It's possible that the things you're thinking of are unimportant. Or beyond your control.

Reply 7

Dunnig Kruger

Original post

by black tea

She is 26 and her mum does everything for her. I think most people would find that to be a problem and it's certainly not something that is beyond OP's control unless she has a disability that requires her to have a carer.

That may well be the case.

A useful tool in starting the road to improvement is to identify clearly what needs to be improved. And to declare publicly what you're going to improve and how you're going to improve it.