Is This a Red Flag or Am I Overthinking? Need Advice on My Relationship

Hi everyone, I'm seeking some advice and perspectives on my current relationship situation. Here's a bit of background: I've been in a relationship with my fiancé for a while now, and we are planning to get married soon. He's in his 30s and has never been in a relationship before me, so I'm his first. Overall, he treats me very well, and in many ways, our relationship is great. However, there are a couple of things he has said that have left me feeling uncertain and worried. 1. My fiancé has mentioned to me before that his love for me is conditional. He treats me right and does all the things a loving partner should do, but he has explicitly said that his love for me is because of the position I hold in his life. Essentially, he believes that if someone else were in my position, he would love them the same way. This has made me question the depth and authenticity of his feelings. I'm scared that this love might not last, especially as life circumstances change. 2. Given that he's never been in a relationship before me, I wonder if his perspective on love is influenced by his inexperience. Could it be that he's unsure of his feelings and thus expresses them in this seemingly transactional way? Or is it possible that he genuinely loves me but just doesn't know how to articulate it properly due to his lack of relationship experience? I really need some advice on these two main concerns: 1. Is his viewpoint a red flag, or am I overthinking it? Can a love based on a position rather than the person themselves truly last? 2. How much could his inexperience in relationships be affecting his understanding and expression of love? Is it possible that he does love me genuinely but is just struggling to convey it properly? I'd appreciate any insights, similar experiences en.openprof.com or advice you all might have. Thank you so much for your help!

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

i think the only way to truly see is when a testing situation happens. then you can reevaluate, right now theres too much uncertainty.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

i think the only way to truly see is when a testing situation happens. then you can reevaluate, right now theres too much uncertainty.

i thought about this and even the possibility of creating this testing situation (because i have suffered really bad break ups before and i do not want to put myself in that space anymore) but i am not sure what the best scenario would look like.. Thanks for your input.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

maybe try to be a bit distant and see how he reacts? as much as i dont condone creating issues its better to find out now rather than later. hope it all goes well for you x