Could anyone please mark this English essay?
Compare the way in which the reality of war is presented in 'Bayonet Charge' and one other poem from 'Power and Conflict'. [30 marks]
'Bayonet Charge' was a post-WW2 poem written by Ted Hughes, providing a snapshot of the chaos and suffering of man and animal alike that a soldier witnesses whilst fighting in WW1. War is presented as an indescribable horror which strips people of their individualism and 'human dignity' whilst they are forced to fight for their 'nations' which do not care about them. 'The Charge of the Light Brigade' was a propaganda poem written during the Crimean War, attempting to rewrite history and promote the heroism of its soldiers, and therefore presents war as a glorious struggle and for the greater good.
Hughes' father was left with life-long mental illnesses after fighting in WW1, so, although the poet had not directly fought on the battlefields of a war, he had bed signifcantly impacted by its effects. War is presented as pointless in the poem 'Bayonet Charge'. The soldier wonders if it is determined by the 'stars' or the 'nations', essentially questioning whether or not there is a higher force at play or if it is selfish and megalomaniacal world leaders who send young men to fight in order to preserve their own power. 'Cold clockwork' uses plosive alliteration, which emphasises the brutal authority of those above him, and 'cold' suggests without emotion or feeling. The soldier realises that his country will not protect him in the same way that he promised to fight for it- his 'patriotic tear', once symbolising his devotion to his nation has now turned into sweat, falling 'from the centre of his chest'. This is where the heart is, visualing demonstrating his fading love for his country. He is left vulnerable and alone. There are no other soldiers fighting with him, and the only weapon he has to defend himself is a rifle which is as 'numb as a smashed arm'. This suggests it is completely useless and 'smashed arm' potentially foreshadows injuries he predicts he will gain in the conflict. A far cry from the messages of patriotism and 'honour', he ends up mirroring the rabbit's actions- he is no longer driven by a higher purpose- only by self-preservation and the animalistic desperation to simply survive.
In stark contrast to this, 'Charge of the Light Brigade' paints war as an opportunity for ordinary men to gain eternal glory and show heroism and valour. The reader is twice during the last stanza commanded to 'Honour' the Light Brigade, and is asked 'When can their glory fade?'. This rhetorical question forces the reader to accept that doing such a brave and risky act in order to save one's country is worth everlasting recognition. Such glory was a major motivator for young men to join the army, and this poem was written as a propaganda poem whilst Tennyson was Poet Laurette. He was expected to write verse whenever there was a major event in the country, and was desperate to stay in favour of Queen Victoria, who had awarded him all of this wealth and honour. The Crimean War was seen by contemporary media as a pointless war fought over oil and securing trade routes rather than to defend British territory, and real-time war reporting and interviews with people on the front had only recently become possible. As civilians had started to witness the horrors and reality of war, people started to question its necessity. Tennyson needed to rewrite history and change public perception of the war. Rather than focusing on any mistakes made in the campaign, he decided to shift the focus on the heroism of the soldiers, attempting to spin a defeat into a glorious victory for England.
Very vivid descriptions of conflict are used in 'Bayonet Charge' to immerse the reader in the conflict and create a sense of empathy for the soldier. The poem starts as 'Suddenly he awoke and was running'. Soldiers are often unprepared for their fighting this highlight the suddenness at which danger can arise in a war. Him awakening reminds the reader that this is real life, rather than a fictional nightmare, no matter how horrifying the events may seem. This may also represent him waking up to the truth, no longer blinded by patriotic ideals. The idea that the soldier is going over the top whilst half-asleep directly contradicts the depictions of war as high-energy and heoric, as it was portrayed in previous popular poems such as 'Charge of the Light Brigade'. War is also presented as an indescribable horror. 'raw' is used twice in the first two lines, which suggests the poet is struggling to think of how to put the suffering during conflict into words. This poem is also said to have been inspired by another poem by Wilfred Owen, who personally fought in WW1. This could suggest that despite Hughes' literary greatness, he has not witnessed war first-hand and thus cannot describe it. The soldier realises his insignificance and that he has no ability to change the course of the war, as he asks if he is 'the hand pointing that second'. A second is such a small amount of time in the huge 'clockwork' of the universe. Dehumanising himself by calling himself 'the hand' of a clock is cremamorphism, which could reflect how war strips people of their individual identities (so any idea of personal glory is impossible, as leaders view soldiers as merely numbers and weapons).
Tennyson may be attempting to secretly criticise the actions of the leaders and the reason for conflict during the Crimean War in his poem 'Charge of the Light Brigade'. Despite the illusion of patriotism and being propaganda, he could have tried to draw attention to the line 'Someone had blundered'. Despite the relatively consistent rhyme scheme throughout the poem and its form of a ballad, this line does not rhyme with any other line, breaking the meter. Many words from this point on (eg. 'shatter'd', 'thunder'd', 'sunder'd') end in 'er'd', which sounds like 'erred' (ie. to make an error). This reminds the reader that 'six hundred' valiant, honourable men have needlessly died due to the mistakes of a few generals. Leaders in the army had often bought their positions during this time, and were wealthy rather than genuinely experienced in war and fighting. Perhaps Tennyson is trying to discreetly blame those in charge without losing the trust of key members of the status quo such as the Queen. Tennyson says that although the soldier knew that someone had made a mistake, it was not the soldiers' job to 'reason why', just do 'do and die'. The repetition of this may force the reader to wonder why this is the case - why must soldiers ignore all logic and follow through on a pointless order which they know will result in their deaths? The last line of 'Bayonet Charge' shows the negative results of blind obedience to higher commands - the soldier has given up on 'wondering why' and accepts his fate as a mere machine for the war, a simple cog in the 'cold clockwork' of the universe. He is now controlled by his terror rather than any of his own principles. 'touchy' reflects the irrationality in how he now acts, much like the hare, and 'dynamite' symbolises the harm he can inflict upon others.
In conclusion, 'Bayonet Charge' and 'Charge of the Light Brigade' present very different images of war. 'Bayonet Charge' describes the brutal realities of war and the negative effects it can have on soldiers who fight in it - many become dehumanised, mere weapons fighting for their 'nations' and leaders who do not care about them as individuals. On the other hand, 'Charge of the Light Brigade' is a propaganda piece, likely written to win over the favour of the queen and to restore patriotism and support for war in England.
'Bayonet Charge' was a post-WW2 poem written by Ted Hughes, providing a snapshot of the chaos and suffering of man and animal alike that a soldier witnesses whilst fighting in WW1. War is presented as an indescribable horror which strips people of their individualism and 'human dignity' whilst they are forced to fight for their 'nations' which do not care about them. 'The Charge of the Light Brigade' was a propaganda poem written during the Crimean War, attempting to rewrite history and promote the heroism of its soldiers, and therefore presents war as a glorious struggle and for the greater good.
Hughes' father was left with life-long mental illnesses after fighting in WW1, so, although the poet had not directly fought on the battlefields of a war, he had bed signifcantly impacted by its effects. War is presented as pointless in the poem 'Bayonet Charge'. The soldier wonders if it is determined by the 'stars' or the 'nations', essentially questioning whether or not there is a higher force at play or if it is selfish and megalomaniacal world leaders who send young men to fight in order to preserve their own power. 'Cold clockwork' uses plosive alliteration, which emphasises the brutal authority of those above him, and 'cold' suggests without emotion or feeling. The soldier realises that his country will not protect him in the same way that he promised to fight for it- his 'patriotic tear', once symbolising his devotion to his nation has now turned into sweat, falling 'from the centre of his chest'. This is where the heart is, visualing demonstrating his fading love for his country. He is left vulnerable and alone. There are no other soldiers fighting with him, and the only weapon he has to defend himself is a rifle which is as 'numb as a smashed arm'. This suggests it is completely useless and 'smashed arm' potentially foreshadows injuries he predicts he will gain in the conflict. A far cry from the messages of patriotism and 'honour', he ends up mirroring the rabbit's actions- he is no longer driven by a higher purpose- only by self-preservation and the animalistic desperation to simply survive.
In stark contrast to this, 'Charge of the Light Brigade' paints war as an opportunity for ordinary men to gain eternal glory and show heroism and valour. The reader is twice during the last stanza commanded to 'Honour' the Light Brigade, and is asked 'When can their glory fade?'. This rhetorical question forces the reader to accept that doing such a brave and risky act in order to save one's country is worth everlasting recognition. Such glory was a major motivator for young men to join the army, and this poem was written as a propaganda poem whilst Tennyson was Poet Laurette. He was expected to write verse whenever there was a major event in the country, and was desperate to stay in favour of Queen Victoria, who had awarded him all of this wealth and honour. The Crimean War was seen by contemporary media as a pointless war fought over oil and securing trade routes rather than to defend British territory, and real-time war reporting and interviews with people on the front had only recently become possible. As civilians had started to witness the horrors and reality of war, people started to question its necessity. Tennyson needed to rewrite history and change public perception of the war. Rather than focusing on any mistakes made in the campaign, he decided to shift the focus on the heroism of the soldiers, attempting to spin a defeat into a glorious victory for England.
Very vivid descriptions of conflict are used in 'Bayonet Charge' to immerse the reader in the conflict and create a sense of empathy for the soldier. The poem starts as 'Suddenly he awoke and was running'. Soldiers are often unprepared for their fighting this highlight the suddenness at which danger can arise in a war. Him awakening reminds the reader that this is real life, rather than a fictional nightmare, no matter how horrifying the events may seem. This may also represent him waking up to the truth, no longer blinded by patriotic ideals. The idea that the soldier is going over the top whilst half-asleep directly contradicts the depictions of war as high-energy and heoric, as it was portrayed in previous popular poems such as 'Charge of the Light Brigade'. War is also presented as an indescribable horror. 'raw' is used twice in the first two lines, which suggests the poet is struggling to think of how to put the suffering during conflict into words. This poem is also said to have been inspired by another poem by Wilfred Owen, who personally fought in WW1. This could suggest that despite Hughes' literary greatness, he has not witnessed war first-hand and thus cannot describe it. The soldier realises his insignificance and that he has no ability to change the course of the war, as he asks if he is 'the hand pointing that second'. A second is such a small amount of time in the huge 'clockwork' of the universe. Dehumanising himself by calling himself 'the hand' of a clock is cremamorphism, which could reflect how war strips people of their individual identities (so any idea of personal glory is impossible, as leaders view soldiers as merely numbers and weapons).
Tennyson may be attempting to secretly criticise the actions of the leaders and the reason for conflict during the Crimean War in his poem 'Charge of the Light Brigade'. Despite the illusion of patriotism and being propaganda, he could have tried to draw attention to the line 'Someone had blundered'. Despite the relatively consistent rhyme scheme throughout the poem and its form of a ballad, this line does not rhyme with any other line, breaking the meter. Many words from this point on (eg. 'shatter'd', 'thunder'd', 'sunder'd') end in 'er'd', which sounds like 'erred' (ie. to make an error). This reminds the reader that 'six hundred' valiant, honourable men have needlessly died due to the mistakes of a few generals. Leaders in the army had often bought their positions during this time, and were wealthy rather than genuinely experienced in war and fighting. Perhaps Tennyson is trying to discreetly blame those in charge without losing the trust of key members of the status quo such as the Queen. Tennyson says that although the soldier knew that someone had made a mistake, it was not the soldiers' job to 'reason why', just do 'do and die'. The repetition of this may force the reader to wonder why this is the case - why must soldiers ignore all logic and follow through on a pointless order which they know will result in their deaths? The last line of 'Bayonet Charge' shows the negative results of blind obedience to higher commands - the soldier has given up on 'wondering why' and accepts his fate as a mere machine for the war, a simple cog in the 'cold clockwork' of the universe. He is now controlled by his terror rather than any of his own principles. 'touchy' reflects the irrationality in how he now acts, much like the hare, and 'dynamite' symbolises the harm he can inflict upon others.
In conclusion, 'Bayonet Charge' and 'Charge of the Light Brigade' present very different images of war. 'Bayonet Charge' describes the brutal realities of war and the negative effects it can have on soldiers who fight in it - many become dehumanised, mere weapons fighting for their 'nations' and leaders who do not care about them as individuals. On the other hand, 'Charge of the Light Brigade' is a propaganda piece, likely written to win over the favour of the queen and to restore patriotism and support for war in England.
Reply 1
Hi, I’ve just looked through your essay! Great stuff, really strong. Here’s some feedback:
Overall, great job! I would give this 26 marks out of 30, which is at the lower band of a level 6. This would be awarded a high 8 or a low 9 in terms of grading. Your work is strong, you just need to be more direct, maybe analyse with a little more detail, cut back a bit of context and talk about structure a little more. That aside, it is an excellent essay.
If you need me to mark any more essays I can do! I also studied Power and Conflict poetry. I undertook my GCSE English Literature in 2019, in Year 10 (everyone in my year did) and I got a 9. I was 7 marks off 100% (I got 153/160 marks overall in the GCSE) and I achieved an A when I took my A-Level English Literature exam in 2022, having received 75 marks out of 80 in my coursework. I’m studying English Literature and Creative Writing at Lancaster University, and I got a 2:1 in English Literature at the end of my first year, which I’ve just finished. I worked as a tutor on my Gap Year and in the holidays during my first year of uni, specialising in GCSE English. I have three years of tutoring experience combined (including marking). I promise I am qualified, to an extent, to mark your essays and, if need be, give you tuition (not that I think you need it), whether that is in GCSE English Literature or in GCSE English Language. It goes without saying that I’m more than happy to do so for free.
Just PM me on here and I can help you out. Best of luck with everything!
L x
•
Very detailed context, to the extent that it can be a little heavy-handed at times. Using context is great, but cut back a little!
•
Great use of detailed terminology, such as the mention of plosive alliteration.
•
Varied vocabulary and brilliant SPaG overall.
•
At one point, you say ‘despite’ twice, close together. Perhaps change this to ‘in spite of’ for a bit of vocabulary? It is generally varied otherwise, which is great.
•
You paraphrase quotations really well.
•
You have insightful and perceptive analysis.
•
Strong understanding of how language shapes meaning.
•
You touch on form when you mention the breaking of the metre, which is good.
•
You could do with talking about poetic structure a little bit.
•
Strong understanding and interpretation of the two poems, backed up by a judicious range of quotations.
•
You could include a bit more direct comparison between the two poems towards the end of the essay.
If you need me to mark any more essays I can do! I also studied Power and Conflict poetry. I undertook my GCSE English Literature in 2019, in Year 10 (everyone in my year did) and I got a 9. I was 7 marks off 100% (I got 153/160 marks overall in the GCSE) and I achieved an A when I took my A-Level English Literature exam in 2022, having received 75 marks out of 80 in my coursework. I’m studying English Literature and Creative Writing at Lancaster University, and I got a 2:1 in English Literature at the end of my first year, which I’ve just finished. I worked as a tutor on my Gap Year and in the holidays during my first year of uni, specialising in GCSE English. I have three years of tutoring experience combined (including marking). I promise I am qualified, to an extent, to mark your essays and, if need be, give you tuition (not that I think you need it), whether that is in GCSE English Literature or in GCSE English Language. It goes without saying that I’m more than happy to do so for free.
Just PM me on here and I can help you out. Best of luck with everything!
L x
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 2
12
Thank you very much for this detailed feedback!
Reply 3
Original post by Sichwünschen
Thank you very much for this detailed feedback!
Of course! As stated above, if you would like me to mark any other essays in the future, feel free to PM me or message me on this thread! Are you going into Year 11?
Reply 4
12
Hello! Next year, I will be going into Year 10. I will send you another essay when I have completed it.
Thank you for your help!
Thank you for your help!
Reply 5
Original post by Sichwünschen
Hello! Next year, I will be going into Year 10. I will send you another essay when I have completed it.
Thank you for your help!
Thank you for your help!
Okay! Good for you to be so pro-active and get ahead. At my high school, we had to do our English Literature GCSE a year earlier-I don't know whether that's the same for you, or not, as my school scrapped that post-COVID. I did my GCSE in 2019, so either 6 or 7 years before yours, but I'm more than happy to help out as I do tutor GCSE English (as mentioned) and I'm doing a degree in it at the moment. And of course!
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