Moving out

I am a 16 year who need to get out of there house my family treat me like I’m some sort of stranger and I get spoke to like crap I need advice on what to do cause I can take it no more

Reply 1

Heathersrocks

Original post by I_anderson9537

I am a 16 year who need to get out of there house my family treat me like I’m some sort of stranger and I get spoke to like crap I need advice on what to do cause I can take it no more

I'm sorry to hear that they do that. That sounds really difficult. As you're a minor, it may not be safe for you to move out, unless your life is actively being put in danger. I'm not trying to dismiss your thoughts and feelings, or invalidate you. I remember wanting to move out at that age, although I wasn't treated like that. I just had arguments with them due to my mental health issues, and it was hard to cope at times, for everyone. So I'm not going to say it's the same. Have you thought it out properly? I always give it 24 hours before making a drastic decision, unless it's a life or death type of situation.

Do you know where you would stay? Who would support you? Would you be able to support yourself at 16, realistically? Some people can at that age, to be fair. Most people aren't willing to give 16 year olds a full-time job position, let alone without qualifications. The best you'll be able to get is most likely part-time work, which will not pay enough for you to support yourself, especially not in a cost-of-living crisis. Are there any youth hostels in your area, or any shelters? Can you afford to stay at a hotel, or to be on the move? What about the cost of groceries? Toiletries? Rent? Bills? Whatever you pack will only run out eventually. If you have a lot of money saved, this may not be as significant of a concern. And even if you don't care about the money, which is understandable in the heat of the moment, you should, because money will help you to survive. You can't live on nothing.

Do you have your own credit card? ID? Your own bank account? You'll need these, academic qualifications, savings, and supplies if you seriously intend to move out. Because you'll need to work, unless there's another adult you can stay with safely who will let you live them for free-not some random man or woman who will let you stay for free that you haven't met before. They may force you into certain things that you're not comfortable doing as 'compensation' or as a 'another way to pay', or force you into illegal business enterprises (not sure if it'l let me say what I want to say here). It's a dangerous, scary world out there if you are an unprotected minor with very little to your name, especially if you're a girl or were born as one. You don't want to get involved in a life of crime, do you? You may not care or think it would be preferable to your current situation, but it most likely isn't, although I couldn't say, given that I'm not the once experiencing it. Think carefully, though, about what sort of future you might want for yourself. Do you want a certain career? A family? If you're thinking of running away, you may end up with the sort of life where you can't have some of those things, or where you end up in poverty. That can happen anyway, of course it can, but it's more likely if you run away from home and stay away, unless you have someone trusted and safe you can stay with.

Feel free to vent on here or vent to me on private messages about your family, and how they make you feel. If you really want my opinion, I think you should wait and see how you feel in 24 hours. I also feel as though you could potentially benefit from talking to a counsellor to this, if you're able to access one, or you could reach out to a free helpline:

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Email [email protected]

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Call 116 123 (Samaritans).

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Call Mind at 0300 102 1234.

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Message shout at 82528.

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Call Saneline at 0300 304 7000.

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Call CALM or message if you're struggling with scary thoughts.

I would seriously recommend not running away, unless you're being abused. If you are, you can call the police at 999, or Childline at 0800 1111.

Also, if you steal or use a credit or debit card, and your family report you to the police as missing, they will be able to trace you from the purchases. If you steal anything, you'll likely be found out and it'll only make your life harder, no doubt. I would recommend reconsidering for this short period of time, and getting some therapy. Move out when you're 18 if things don't get easier. You might be able to get a better job and support yourself more easily by then. I hope your home life gets easier. You can always talk to someone in your life you can trust-a friend, a partner, a teacher, another family member who doesn't live with you. It's hard out there, and you will struggle if you run away with nobody to run to, especially as a minor.

Best of luck, and hoping your home life improves.

L x

Reply 2

I_anderson9537

I’ve been thinking about moving for years now and I just want this all to stop I can’t deal with this no more my friends family are happy to take me in where I’ll be loved and cared for like I use to feel here at home but my mum has said to me if it’s what I want then she’s not going to stop me

Reply 3

Heathersrocks

Original post by I_anderson9537

If you reckon you'd be safe, then fair enough. I still think you need to talk to a professional about this, even if you do move out. Just my opinion, though. Best of luck x