Need help with ghost gf
Some quick background first. Me and my girlfriend gave been officially dating for 3 months now but seeing each other for 3.5. We are semi long distance about an 1hr 20 mins drive atm but was shorter about 20 mins before I moved temporarily back from uni. She is a night shift worker and I'm a mature student. She hasn't been in a relationship for 7 years and I have only been in one before my current gf. It ended with her cheating. I'm 25 she's 28. We try to see each other every week and chat everyday or every other day at a minimum. We have a weekend away booked in October and have tickets to a comedy gig in August both of which I have given her money for.
Now to the problem.
Monday last week-We went on an amazing date last week on and spent the whole day together, seeing all the sights and my gf booked a fun activity for us to do together. We also made out and hugged in a park for about an hr. After this we went our separate ways and texted like normal, making jokes and sending each other memes. We also made plans for a date coming in 2 weeks( it would normally be that weekend but I had a work trip)
Tuesday last week- we texted all day and played video games for hrs while chatting on the phone and made plans to do so again tomorrow.
Wednesday last week- we did the same thing but she said her time off work was coming to an end so she wasn't sure when she could play games again. But promised to call and text.
Thursday last week- I send the normal good morning messages and then ask about confirmation for our date for next week's Sunday. No response this day
Friday last week- I send the normal messages and she doesn't look at them so no response.
Saturday last week- i send no messages this morning as I'm annoyed. She response at midday confirming that she's coming to next weeks date at 12 and that she's really sorry and that she was In hospital getting a family member some tests done for a medical issue then fell asleep when she got home. I knew about the hospital so I understood.
Sunday last week- I send some jokes and memes in addition to the normal messages I would send. She back on her work schedule so I expect nothing until very late or tommorow.
Monday this week- I wish her a good morning and then in the evening send her a good luck at work message. No response to any messages. She hasn't looked at any of mine since Saturday. I call her twice to confirm bookings for our upcoming date with no response.
Today- I send some pictures from our last date. She looks smiley in the pictures and definitely wants to be there. Still no response of any kind. I call once more with no response. I then send a slightly annoyed text to her saying if there's something wrong she should tell me because I can see she's been online since we last chatted and we're approaching 4 days without communication. This is where I'm thinking something is seriously wrong because even for her 4 days is a lot.
My question to you if you've made it this far through the post is, what could be going on as there has been no indication of pullaway or any indication of dissatisfaction in the relationship. Quite the contrary tbh. But all the current evidence is pointing to her ghosting me despite our future plans????
Now to the problem.
Monday last week-We went on an amazing date last week on and spent the whole day together, seeing all the sights and my gf booked a fun activity for us to do together. We also made out and hugged in a park for about an hr. After this we went our separate ways and texted like normal, making jokes and sending each other memes. We also made plans for a date coming in 2 weeks( it would normally be that weekend but I had a work trip)
Tuesday last week- we texted all day and played video games for hrs while chatting on the phone and made plans to do so again tomorrow.
Wednesday last week- we did the same thing but she said her time off work was coming to an end so she wasn't sure when she could play games again. But promised to call and text.
Thursday last week- I send the normal good morning messages and then ask about confirmation for our date for next week's Sunday. No response this day
Friday last week- I send the normal messages and she doesn't look at them so no response.
Saturday last week- i send no messages this morning as I'm annoyed. She response at midday confirming that she's coming to next weeks date at 12 and that she's really sorry and that she was In hospital getting a family member some tests done for a medical issue then fell asleep when she got home. I knew about the hospital so I understood.
Sunday last week- I send some jokes and memes in addition to the normal messages I would send. She back on her work schedule so I expect nothing until very late or tommorow.
Monday this week- I wish her a good morning and then in the evening send her a good luck at work message. No response to any messages. She hasn't looked at any of mine since Saturday. I call her twice to confirm bookings for our upcoming date with no response.
Today- I send some pictures from our last date. She looks smiley in the pictures and definitely wants to be there. Still no response of any kind. I call once more with no response. I then send a slightly annoyed text to her saying if there's something wrong she should tell me because I can see she's been online since we last chatted and we're approaching 4 days without communication. This is where I'm thinking something is seriously wrong because even for her 4 days is a lot.
My question to you if you've made it this far through the post is, what could be going on as there has been no indication of pullaway or any indication of dissatisfaction in the relationship. Quite the contrary tbh. But all the current evidence is pointing to her ghosting me despite our future plans????
Original post by Zarek
Girls go cold suddenly and the reasons can be difficult to understand. A build up of increasingly bad treatment is the norm. Back off and see what happens
As far as I can tell there been no pull back until this ghosting. I mean the last message she send me was confirming our coming date plans
What's going on is that you're bombarding her with messages. You're also displaying emotional weakness by getting annoyed and asking her if anything's wrong.
Your messaging quantity and average quality are killing her attraction to you. Which you may make up somewhat when she's with you. But if you behave in real life how you do over text, you'll be reducing her attraction towards you when you're on dates.
Her love for you will have a certain amount of momentum. After the honeymoon period, she will start taking all your good points for granted and start focusing on all your negative traits.
You're on summer holidays now and have time on your hands. Start ploughing more of your time into stuff outside of your girlfriend.
She's got plenty going on apart from you.
Cut out all the good morning, good night and how was your day type messages.
Cut out all the messages that are of a style that your grandmother would send.
Stop being so predictable and boring.
Your messaging quantity and average quality are killing her attraction to you. Which you may make up somewhat when she's with you. But if you behave in real life how you do over text, you'll be reducing her attraction towards you when you're on dates.
Her love for you will have a certain amount of momentum. After the honeymoon period, she will start taking all your good points for granted and start focusing on all your negative traits.
You're on summer holidays now and have time on your hands. Start ploughing more of your time into stuff outside of your girlfriend.
She's got plenty going on apart from you.
Cut out all the good morning, good night and how was your day type messages.
Cut out all the messages that are of a style that your grandmother would send.
Stop being so predictable and boring.
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
What's going on is that you're bombarding her with messages. You're also displaying emotional weakness by getting annoyed and asking her if anything's wrong.
Your messaging quantity and average quality are killing her attraction to you. Which you may make up somewhat when she's with you. But if you behave in real life how you do over text, you'll be reducing her attraction towards you when you're on dates.
Her love for you will have a certain amount of momentum. After the honeymoon period, she will start taking all your good points for granted and start focusing on all your negative traits.
You're on summer holidays now and have time on your hands. Start ploughing more of your time into stuff outside of your girlfriend.
She's got plenty going on apart from you.
Cut out all the good morning, good night and how was your day type messages.
Cut out all the messages that are of a style that your grandmother would send.
Stop being so predictable and boring.
Your messaging quantity and average quality are killing her attraction to you. Which you may make up somewhat when she's with you. But if you behave in real life how you do over text, you'll be reducing her attraction towards you when you're on dates.
Her love for you will have a certain amount of momentum. After the honeymoon period, she will start taking all your good points for granted and start focusing on all your negative traits.
You're on summer holidays now and have time on your hands. Start ploughing more of your time into stuff outside of your girlfriend.
She's got plenty going on apart from you.
Cut out all the good morning, good night and how was your day type messages.
Cut out all the messages that are of a style that your grandmother would send.
Stop being so predictable and boring.
I couldn't write it any better.
OP, nothing is your fault, it is just very hard to explain these things and how you should act without hurting you, so she acts the way she acts. If you understand that, just let that be and enjoy your relationship, she will talk about it when she feels the time is right.
Original post by Kathy89
I couldn't write it any better.
OP, nothing is your fault, it is just very hard to explain these things and how you should act without hurting you, so she acts the way she acts. If you understand that, just let that be and enjoy your relationship, she will talk about it when she feels the time is right.
OP, nothing is your fault, it is just very hard to explain these things and how you should act without hurting you, so she acts the way she acts. If you understand that, just let that be and enjoy your relationship, she will talk about it when she feels the time is right.
Original post by Anonymous
I get you. Do you understand my confusion in this though? Going from making long term plans and making out to a week later no contact for days is very weird?
Once you accept she needs some time on her own to deal with her stuff it won't be weird.
But I do understand you.
Things broadly speaking seem to have been going well, so I would be inclined to give her some benefit of the doubt.
By that I mean, don't send any aggro messages, just leave it in her court. Either something serious is going on, or she's had a change of heart for inderminate reasons as above.
By that I mean, don't send any aggro messages, just leave it in her court. Either something serious is going on, or she's had a change of heart for inderminate reasons as above.
Original post by Anonymous
As far as I can tell there been no pull back until this ghosting. I mean the last message she send me was confirming our coming date plans
Fair point. Initially keen and changes mind is also a common unpleasant dating surprise. It’s surprisingly hurtful when expectations have been raised. The only hope is to leave the ball in her court
Original post by Admit-One
Things broadly speaking seem to have been going well, so I would be inclined to give her some benefit of the doubt.
By that I mean, don't send any aggro messages, just leave it in her court. Either something serious is going on, or she's had a change of heart for inderminate reasons as above.
By that I mean, don't send any aggro messages, just leave it in her court. Either something serious is going on, or she's had a change of heart for inderminate reasons as above.
Just found out her mum died. I feel like a ****
Original post by Rr600
She found a more attractive handsome guy. Very common by girls
Just found out her mum died. I feel like a ****
This is your cue to assertively and politely go to her home with a load of food ingredients and to cook and do all the washing up for her and any members of her family there. Don't take no for an answer on this.
You can't bring her mum back. You can help with some essential chores whilst she and her family are not functioning as well as they can.
You can't bring her mum back. You can help with some essential chores whilst she and her family are not functioning as well as they can.
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
This is your cue to assertively and politely go to her home with a load of food ingredients and to cook and do all the washing up for her and any members of her family there. Don't take no for an answer on this.
You can't bring her mum back. You can help with some essential chores whilst she and her family are not functioning as well as they can.
You can't bring her mum back. You can help with some essential chores whilst she and her family are not functioning as well as they can.
She and the family are still at the hospital as her nan was also in the crash but is still living. I'm going down tommorow to see her for a bit but understandably she doesn't want to leave the hospital for too long. Just going to help out where and when I can
Good lad. Doing the right thing at times of crisis goes a long way to cementing a relationship.
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