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LNAT essay- would really appreciate some feedback!!!!

Hi everyone! I am currently studying for the LNAT exam. I was wondering if anybody here could be kind enough to offer an opinion about my essay on a practice question. Thank you so much.

3. The Olympic games, today, are less a test of personal athleticism and more a measure of national investment and authority. Do you agree?

Participation in the Olympic games is often the pinnacle of an athlete’s career, the culmination of years of hard work and training. It could be easy to assume that it is primarily the athlete’s dedication to their sport that has allowed them to reach this level. However, the resources that a country invests into sport, the ‘national investment’ and the government decisions passed in regards to sport, the ‘authority', plays a much larger role in athletes participating and winning the Olympic games than the athletes themselves.

Many believe that to win the Olympic games, the athletes’ athleticism is the most important factor. The athletes who win are the biggest, strongest and fastest in their event. However, there is more to this than simply how athletic the athlete is. Participation in sports is a luxury for most of the developing world. There is a reason why a select number of countries dominate the medal tally at the Olympics, such as the United States, Great Britain and Australia, to name a few. The ability to be athletic requires good nutrition and a clean bill of health. In developing countries, food insecurity is so prevalent that getting the nutrition needed for daily training would be challenging. In developed countries, children have the benefit of investment into free school meals to ensure that children are well-nourished. In addition, children in more developed countries generally enjoy a higher standard of living, with better sanitation, access to clean water and medical facilities, because of greater government investment into the healthcare sector. These resources are simply not available for hundreds of millions of people.

Many lower income countries also lack the infrastructure necessary for athletes to practise and hone their skills. Governments cannot afford, or do not want to keep funding of training facilities or coaches a priority. Funding of infrastructure on more niche sports are even more unlikely possibilities. This limits the pool of athletes at the Olympics at numerous events, such as skiing and fencing, where only those who have access to the equipment and facilities can partake. At these events, participating in them is perhaps less a test of athleticism than whether people have even had the resources to try their hand at the sport.

National authority is also crucial to provide incentives for children to even participate in sports. What do people gain from participating in the Olympics or other international competitions? Many may argue that a sense of national pride, potential fame, a sense of personal accomplishment, is reason enough for athletes to want to participate in the Olympics. However, to reach the Olympics means a full- time career in the sport. Paying for coaches, training and travel are taken on by the athletes themselves. Without a likelihood of compensation, many more chose to forgo a professional athletic career than those who do not as funding these expenses are impossible for many. Economic support is therefore a necessity to encourage athletes to participate. In some countries, funding by the government is provided to athletes who train, but this is a rarity in others. It is clear that countries can make or break athletic careers.

Without national investment and authority into sport, becoming an athlete, much less reaching the Olympics, becomes a very far away dream indeed. While the skills of athletes do play an important role, it is clear that a country’s backing of their athletes is the ultimate trump card.
Great essay!

Your points are strong, rather than focusing on food however, it might be better to look at the investment in PE at school+ there are loads of competitions run about regional athletics that people are encouraged to get into sport

Which countries provide support for athletes, or which type?

Also you've not used a counter argument and proven it incorrect - this is one of the most important things
Some could include:

Genetics play a role (personal athleticism) stronger than national support

All the athletes have to qualify, suggesting they're of similar standard once at the Olympics

Reply 2
Thank you so much for your advice, this was really really helpful! If you don't mind me asking, what structure did you use for your essay? Would having one paragraph for the counter argument and then rebutting it be enough?
You might wish to add something about the use of sport as a projection of power and prestige by nation states.
In other words, address each point posed by the question. Note that the question in your example refers to authority as well as investment.


Also, at A level students are encouraged to take the "on the one hand this, on the other hand that" approach. At undergraduate level you are encouraged to take a position and make a case.

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