Could someone please mark my AQA GCSE English Language Q2?

The Extract and the Question:

"It came on great oiled, resilient, striding legs. It towered thirty feet above half of the trees, a
great evil god, folding its delicate watchmaker’s claws close to its oily reptilian chest. Each
lower leg was a piston, a thousand pounds of white bone, sunk in thick ropes of muscle,
sheathed over in a gleam of pebbled skin like the armour of a terrible warrior. Each thigh
was a ton of meat, ivory, and steel mesh. And from the great breathing cage of the upper
body those two delicate arms dangled out front, arms with hands which might pick up and
examine men like toys, while the snake neck coiled. And the head itself, a ton of sculptured
stone, lifted easily upon the sky. Its mouth gaped, exposing a fence of teeth like daggers.
Its eyes rolled, ostrich eggs, empty of all expression save hunger. It closed its mouth in a
death grin. It ran, its pelvic bones crushing aside trees and bushes, its taloned feet clawing
damp earth, leaving prints six inches deep wherever it settled its weight"

"How does the writer use language to describe the T-Rex?"

My response:
"The writer uses a metaphor to describe to the reader how
the Tyrannosaurus Rex's teeth are very deadly, portraying the
T-Rex itself as dangerous. The writer states that the T-rex
opened its mouth, "exposing a fence of teeth like daggers."
The writer uses a metaphor here, saying that the T-Rex's teeth
is like a fence. This implies to the reader that the T-Rex
has a lot of teeth, portraying the T-Rex as vicious and deadly.
Additionally, the simile "like daggers" reinforces the idea
that the T-Rex is deadly; by implying that the T-Rex's jaw
is like a weapon; filled with daggers.

The writer also uses a simile to show that the T-Rex is
very powerful: like a warrior. The writer states that the
T-Rex had pebbled skin "like the armour of a terrible
warrior." The noun "armour" is used by the writer to clearly
suggest how the T-Rex is impenetrable with skin like armour.
Furthermore, the descriptive phrase "terrible warrior" is
suggesting that the T-Rex is very fierce and powerful,
and the adjective terrible conveys that the T-Rex is of an
evil nature: further emphasising the T-Rex's strength."

I would very much appreciate any response, thank you! :smile:

Reply 1

DerDracologe

5/8
Good use of clear structure and topic sentences to answer the question coherently
Some good embedded quotations- well done :smile:

Nice identification of language techniques and some word level analysis- develop this further by fully exploding quotations
Focus on the reader, this is what really held you mark back here

Example paragraph I wrote from the same extract:
In this extract the writer uses language to describe the T-Rex using a semantic field of warriors and battle to emphasises its terrifying presence to the reader. This is seen when the writer comments on the beast advancing forward, its ‘pebbled skin like the armour of a terrible warrior’. The metaphor of ‘pebbled skin’ used here to described the skin as being like ‘armour’ emphasises the strength of the T-Rex due to its protective skin which implants the idea in the reader’s mind that the dinosaur is invincible against attack. Furthermore the simile liking the T-Rex to a ‘terrible warrior’ creates the effect of the reader being exposed to the ferocious nature of the animal. The culmination of these features in the description of the T-Rex creates intimidation and fear which builds suspense and anticipation in the reader for the fate which may befall the time travellers.

If you like you can write another paragraph focusing on a new quotation using the pointers I’ve given you and I can mark that? If you want a suggestion of a quotation id go with either ‘great evil god’ or ‘its eyes rolled, ostrich eggs’ as these both have great potential to be fully broken down and analysed on a deeper level which will pull up your mark if you are able to do that and focus a little more on the reader overall!

Hope this helps, have a great day :smile:

Reply 2

School_Student99

Original post by DerDracologe

5/8
Good use of clear structure and topic sentences to answer the question coherently
Some good embedded quotations- well done :smile:

Nice identification of language techniques and some word level analysis- develop this further by fully exploding quotations
Focus on the reader, this is what really held you mark back here
Example paragraph I wrote from the same extract:
In this extract the writer uses language to describe the T-Rex using a semantic field of warriors and battle to emphasises its terrifying presence to the reader. This is seen when the writer comments on the beast advancing forward, its ‘pebbled skin like the armour of a terrible warrior’. The metaphor of ‘pebbled skin’ used here to described the skin as being like ‘armour’ emphasises the strength of the T-Rex due to its protective skin which implants the idea in the reader’s mind that the dinosaur is invincible against attack. Furthermore the simile liking the T-Rex to a ‘terrible warrior’ creates the effect of the reader being exposed to the ferocious nature of the animal. The culmination of these features in the description of the T-Rex creates intimidation and fear which builds suspense and anticipation in the reader for the fate which may befall the time travellers.
If you like you can write another paragraph focusing on a new quotation using the pointers I’ve given you and I can mark that? If you want a suggestion of a quotation id go with either ‘great evil god’ or ‘its eyes rolled, ostrich eggs’ as these both have great potential to be fully broken down and analysed on a deeper level which will pull up your mark if you are able to do that and focus a little more on the reader overall!
Hope this helps, have a great day :smile: