My boyfriend told me months later that he kissed a girl when we were together
Idk how to start this tbh, me and this guy have been friends for years and has always liked me and we grew apart when feelings weren’t reciprocated by me. After a year later we talked and we finally got together. We have been together now more than 8 months and he told me recently that he kissed a girl and this girl was someone that he had a relationship with prior to me. He started saying that she kissed him blah blah and even said it wasn’t cheating since we weren’t together but talking. I love him but the hurt and betrayal after reassuring me for years that he liked me. He’s apologizing but I feel like this just hit the spot and I should let go. I’m just so betrayed and angry. What should I do?
Reply 1
I'm telling you now, this will happen again. They may say they love you, but they just love the idea of you and having someone there to avoid feeling lonely. He's clearly not mature enough to be loyal. Even though he might not love the other girl, he still has attachments that he should have cut off. Instead, he should have started anew with you, but he didn't.
A man is like a job—once you quit, you never go back. Start a new chapter in your life and focus on self-improvement. Maybe in the future, when you both have grown up, you can reconnect.
A man is like a job—once you quit, you never go back. Start a new chapter in your life and focus on self-improvement. Maybe in the future, when you both have grown up, you can reconnect.
Original post by Loren Ship
I'm telling you now, this will happen again. They may say they love you, but they just love the idea of you and having someone there to avoid feeling lonely. He's clearly not mature enough to be loyal. Even though he might not love the other girl, he still has attachments that he should have cut off. Instead, he should have started anew with you, but he didn't.
A man is like a job—once you quit, you never go back. Start a new chapter in your life and focus on self-improvement. Maybe in the future, when you both have grown up, you can reconnect.
A man is like a job—once you quit, you never go back. Start a new chapter in your life and focus on self-improvement. Maybe in the future, when you both have grown up, you can reconnect.
I appreciate this a lot and I pulled him for a conversation and he was so apologetic and crying on how much he regrets everything but after he told me more on what happened and it hurts can’t lie. I went with the intention that I was done with this relationship but part of me still want to give another chance. I don’t know why I feel like it’s so hard to move on, he keeps begging and sending me messages that he can give me as much break that I need and start afresh but I just feel lost.
Reply 3
He needs to seriously consider if he’s ready to commit to a relationship.
I suggest asking him if he’s ready for a genuine relationship, not just companionship. When he was with his ex, it seemed like he was using you as an option. After you ask him, give him about two weeks to think about it and get back to you.
Another point to consider is that he should have cut all ties with the other girl before starting to talk to you. The fact that he liked you while he was with her shows a lack of loyalty.
Why would he kiss and get back with his ex if he has liked you for years? It doesn't make sense.
I suggest asking him if he’s ready for a genuine relationship, not just companionship. When he was with his ex, it seemed like he was using you as an option. After you ask him, give him about two weeks to think about it and get back to you.
Another point to consider is that he should have cut all ties with the other girl before starting to talk to you. The fact that he liked you while he was with her shows a lack of loyalty.
Why would he kiss and get back with his ex if he has liked you for years? It doesn't make sense.
Just sounds messy and not worth the aggro to me.
If he was talking to other people at the same time then he should have disclosed that so everyone involved could make an informed decision. He didn't and that is on him rather than looking for "it's not really cheating" technicalities.
If he was talking to other people at the same time then he should have disclosed that so everyone involved could make an informed decision. He didn't and that is on him rather than looking for "it's not really cheating" technicalities.
You say you were together when he kissed another girl, he says you weren't; which is it?
It reads that the pair of you weren't even dating, so if you didn't set any boundaries about being exclusive when only talking, what's the issue? At least he's come clean about it.
It reads that the pair of you weren't even dating, so if you didn't set any boundaries about being exclusive when only talking, what's the issue? At least he's come clean about it.
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