Should I give ex gf her stuff back?

I just broke up with my gf over the weekend because I found out she cheated a few months ago. She begged for another chance and said it was a mistake but at the end of the day, cheating is cheating and if you forgive them they’ll likely do it again and I just couldn’t trust her after so I ended it.

After I ended things I went on a date with a new girl (a bit early/fast I know but it wasn’t a proper date.. we just went to the gym together) and my ex was at the gym and she saw me so she got really angry and then started dating a new guy and this new guy just text me (she gave him my number) asking for him to come collect her stuff from mine.

Overall he’s been really nice over text so I have nothing against him, he’s always saying things like “sorry to text you mate she’s asked me to” etc.. so I have nothing against him he seems like a nice guy.

But:

1) getting your new guy to collect the stuff seems a bit of a **** mood I can tell she’s just trying to rub it in my face

2) she has loads of my clothes at her place and won’t reply to my texts to return them and now she’s getting a new guy to come collect her clothes.. seems a bit unfair

Should I give her stuff back or just tell this guy I can’t find her things? I worry if i say I’ll only give it if she can return my clothes as well.. but that would be really childish and I want to just be mature about everything… but at the same time I know once I give the stuff back I will never ever get my clothes back. Mine are more expensive designer stuff at her house as well..

What should I do?

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

Go to her place to collect your clothes, with her clothes in the boot of your car, ready to use as a bargaining chip for your clothes.
Or tell him that you'll do a clothing exchange. Her clothes for ALL of your clothes. Checkpoint Charlie can be your front door.

Don't let her get one over on you by letting her get her clothes without you getting yours.
If this guy was really nice he'd offer to bring your clothes when he collects hers. He hasn't done that so his niceness is just cheap smarmy words with no actual niceness to back it up. I'd say he's got a cheek, pushing for her clothes without offering yours. Put him to the test and ask him to ACT in a well mannered, considerate way.

And in future don't buy expensive designer stuff. Either buy cheap designer stuff at charity shops, online marketplaces etc. Or buy bespoke; tailored to fit you well.

Reply 2

Zarek

Say you’ll drop them off any collect your things at the same time. Alternatively be the bigger person and say he can collect and ask him to bring your things and don’t worry if he doesn’t. Some personal belongings are usually collateral damage of breakups. ‘When they go low, we go high’ works too