Is it normal for your gf to eat all your food?

I am in a relationship and finding somethings a bit uncomfortable and wondered if this is normal and I just need to deal with it as I’m new to dating or if this is not normal and she’s a red flag? I like her a lot but when it comes to food it’s really frustrating:

1) we do date night 2 times per week where we go out for dinner, and I pay every time. She’s never once offered to pay or even offered to split the bill.

2) whenever we do grocery shopping what I buy is “ours to share” and what she buys is “hers only” e.g. I’m not allowed to eat anything she buys but she can eat whatever I buy

3) whenever we (individually) cook ourselves she comes and eats (or expects she’s allowed to eat) what I cooked.. but I’m not allowed to eat what she cooks. The only exception to this is, if we cook a meal together then we share it.

Is this normal? Are girls genuinely like this?

Reply 1

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

It's not normal, no.

Reply 2

heart2you

Original post by Anonymous

I am in a relationship and finding somethings a bit uncomfortable and wondered if this is normal and I just need to deal with it as I’m new to dating or if this is not normal and she’s a red flag? I like her a lot but when it comes to food it’s really frustrating:
1) we do date night 2 times per week where we go out for dinner, and I pay every time. She’s never once offered to pay or even offered to split the bill.
2) whenever we do grocery shopping what I buy is “ours to share” and what she buys is “hers only” e.g. I’m not allowed to eat anything she buys but she can eat whatever I buy
3) whenever we (individually) cook ourselves she comes and eats (or expects she’s allowed to eat) what I cooked.. but I’m not allowed to eat what she cooks. The only exception to this is, if we cook a meal together then we share it.
Is this normal? Are girls genuinely like this?

i don't mean to be rude, but she sounds very selfish and inconsiderate.... 😬

Reply 3

1582

Volunteer Section Leader, Clearing and Applications Advisor

Nope. Whatever rules apply should go both ways. And once you're out of that 'new relationship' phase it's fairer to start splitting bills or alternating who pays.

My girlfriend and I have very different diets, due to me being on a high-protein diet (for the gym) and her having a sensory processing disorder. She's also fiercely protective of food due to her diet already being so limited - for example she can't eat pasta, noodles, rice, beans, soup, etc (our pantry is like 90% stuff only I eat). There are foods that we consider shared e.g. bread, butter, cheese, baking supplies, herbs and spices, vegetables, frozen potato products, frozen sausage rolls, fizzy drinks, etc) but snack foods, fresh meat/fish, or fruit we ask before taking if we weren't the one to buy it.

(edited 5 months ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I am in a relationship and finding somethings a bit uncomfortable and wondered if this is normal and I just need to deal with it as I’m new to dating or if this is not normal and she’s a red flag? I like her a lot but when it comes to food it’s really frustrating:
1) we do date night 2 times per week where we go out for dinner, and I pay every time. She’s never once offered to pay or even offered to split the bill.
2) whenever we do grocery shopping what I buy is “ours to share” and what she buys is “hers only” e.g. I’m not allowed to eat anything she buys but she can eat whatever I buy
3) whenever we (individually) cook ourselves she comes and eats (or expects she’s allowed to eat) what I cooked.. but I’m not allowed to eat what she cooks. The only exception to this is, if we cook a meal together then we share it.
Is this normal? Are girls genuinely like this?

You should test her and see whether she would be generous. Get her to cook you a meal with her food, say you have got any or something like that, just test her few times and see. She might turn out ok, or she might not.

Reply 5

Dunnig Kruger

1 Carry on with the date nights. Carry on paying for everything. Go to places that are less than half the price of where you've been going up till now.
Mix up where you go and what you do. Go to free or cheap tourist attractions. Play some sport. EG knock-about cricket in the park with a few friends and her. Etc.

2 Seeing as she's been eating your stuff, whenever she wants, you go ahead and eat her stuff whenever you want. If she throws a tantrum about it, don't say sorry. Don't get into an argument with her about it. Just smile and shrug your shoulders. Or make a light-hearted comment about it. EG "I never can resist strawberries. They're my weakness. Now you know how to conquer me."
That's assuming she buys stuff that's worth eating. If all she buys is a load of junk food, leave her to her junk.

3 Don't cook meals together (letting her watch you cook is fine). Too many cooks spoil the broth. Cooking with someone else just messes up the in your head Gantt chart for the timings. Or messes up the blend of ingredients. Or leads to stupid arguments about how to cook stuff.
When she cooks tell her something like "Throw in some extra for me. I'm starving! And your dish looks like just the sort of thing to get to my heart via my stomach".
Be playfully masculine about it.
Who is the better cook? If it's you, then it's fine if you do all the cooking. Just get her to do the chores you're not so keen on.

And yes it is common for people to be hypocrites.
And to push their luck. Give them an inch and they take a mile.

Overall, if these are your biggest complaints about her, she's probably worth staying with.
If on the other hand this is just the tip of the iceberg of her faults, you should dump her and join up with someone else.