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Does this mean we aren’t compatible

Does this mean we aren’t compatible

Hi guys, me and my bf been together 3 years originally it was a f buddy then we just became in a relationship. I’m starting to realise we can’t have similar conversations and most things we don’t agree on or have the same opinion. He’s starting to annoy me a lot and I feel like he ever has a long meaningful conversation when he talks about something about himself or his life.

What do I do? One of the reasons I’ve been with him this long out of all my relationships is because it is a very relaxed chilled relationship.

It’s starting to **** me off and when I say we clearly aren’t compatible because we don’t agree on the same things he says normal people don’t agree on everything

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Ps I don’t feel like I learn ANYTHING from him. He seems so dumb when I speak to him. I’m 27 he is 37.
Like my ex’s I use to learn a lot of things about them. Like if I just met him now and we had a first date I wouldn’t date him because the conversation is dry.

Reply 2

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

Nothing you’ve written makes me think that you like him very much.

Hmmm

Original post by Admit-One

Nothing you’ve written makes me think that you like him very much.

I think I’m starting not too. I didn’t date him because of anything purely just s e x. But we’ve last 3 years surely there’s something. Plus every week it’s the same routine with us just going to his for food. He’s anti social he doesn’t go out much with his friends neither does he go on holidays and I love to travel.

Reply 5

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

Again, you don’t seem to have any interest in him whatsoever.

Reply 6

Doomotron

If you want to sleep with him so be it, but I think that you don't have much of a chance at being anything more than that. Some people just can't have a relationship together. It's not a criticism of you or him - I just don't think you work well together.

Reply 7

Rakas21

It sounds like you entered the relationship for the wrong reason albeit that doesn't mean this is not worth saving.

The obvious question after three years is, do you love him.

Provided that you do and have not just (cruelly if he is not aware you don't) wasted his time then what you have to is accept that a 'chilled' relationship where you avoid stress by avoiding the fact that relationships should progress is not a serious relationship. It is a placeholder.

Once you accept this you then have to evaluate if you can progress and determine which issues can be resolved and which cannot.

Issues which require 100% agreement are things like timelines (I want to live together by the end of this year, I want marriage by x and babies by y, my ultimate goal is to be a careerist in London or to raise my family in rural Wiltshire ECT..). Issues which can be resolved are those you've raised such as 'i want you to take me out x times a week or I want to travel with you'.

In short, you need to have a serious conversation even if the relationship will no longer be 'chilled'.