The Student Room Group

Dating Advice?

I'm 17 (18 next March), male and have been doing an apprenticeship in engineering design since November. Over the past month or so, I moved out of home and into a house share due to some difficulties within my family and, although I still see them a couple of times per week, I wanted to move on from that part of my life.

I won't go into loads of detail of my situation as I know there's a lot of people with less than me but, basically, I got pushed out of school when I was in year 6 for a condition I had, it's been under control and hasn't affected me for years, but I had to go through secondary school outside of the mainstream environment and do my GCSEs in a unit type of place, despite this not really being right for me. I haven't had the opportunity to mix with a lot of people because of this and don't really have many friends. I love running and am part of a club, but the majority of members are 20s and 30s, no one really close to me in age. I really crave a relationship with someone and the chance to have that closeness with another person, but a lot of people 16-18 seem quite superficial and are in different positions to me.

I guess I'm just reaching out to see if anyone has any advice on how I might go about dating people and finding someone to be in more of a real relationship with. It's hard because I don't think I'm a bad person, I just don't get much opportunity and feel quite lonely.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17 (18 next March), male and have been doing an apprenticeship in engineering design since November. Over the past month or so, I moved out of home and into a house share due to some difficulties within my family and, although I still see them a couple of times per week, I wanted to move on from that part of my life.
I won't go into loads of detail of my situation as I know there's a lot of people with less than me but, basically, I got pushed out of school when I was in year 6 for a condition I had, it's been under control and hasn't affected me for years, but I had to go through secondary school outside of the mainstream environment and do my GCSEs in a unit type of place, despite this not really being right for me. I haven't had the opportunity to mix with a lot of people because of this and don't really have many friends. I love running and am part of a club, but the majority of members are 20s and 30s, no one really close to me in age. I really crave a relationship with someone and the chance to have that closeness with another person, but a lot of people 16-18 seem quite superficial and are in different positions to me.
I guess I'm just reaching out to see if anyone has any advice on how I might go about dating people and finding someone to be in more of a real relationship with. It's hard because I don't think I'm a bad person, I just don't get much opportunity and feel quite lonely.

I can't give you dating advice - but just some perspective. Dating isn't a scheduled thing, with a fixed timeline, and you can't force it. You are 17, you are newly into an apprenticeship, you've just moved house, and you are already involved in a running club. You've got a lot on your plate right now, and you are clearly busy. Just get those things all established - get the work going well, get your independent home life sorted, and enjoy the running - think of it as building yourself into an even more appealing person to catch someone's eye. Maybe the membership of the running club will change soon, maybe someone will join your workplace, maybe a new neighbour will move in.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17 (18 next March), male and have been doing an apprenticeship in engineering design since November. Over the past month or so, I moved out of home and into a house share due to some difficulties within my family and, although I still see them a couple of times per week, I wanted to move on from that part of my life.

I won't go into loads of detail of my situation as I know there's a lot of people with less than me but, basically, I got pushed out of school when I was in year 6 for a condition I had, it's been under control and hasn't affected me for years, but I had to go through secondary school outside of the mainstream environment and do my GCSEs in a unit type of place, despite this not really being right for me. I haven't had the opportunity to mix with a lot of people because of this and don't really have many friends. I love running and am part of a club, but the majority of members are 20s and 30s, no one really close to me in age. I really crave a relationship with someone and the chance to have that closeness with another person, but a lot of people 16-18 seem quite superficial and are in different positions to me.

I guess I'm just reaching out to see if anyone has any advice on how I might go about dating people and finding someone to be in more of a real relationship with. It's hard because I don't think I'm a bad person, I just don't get much opportunity and feel quite lonely.

If you want to get into a relationship you'll need to meet girls (presume you're looking for a girl). Clubs and hobbies are good places to do this. Even if (which it appears is that case with the running club) there isn't anyone suitable there, one of the runners may know someone who would be, who you may end up getting to know at a social, for example. And what about work? Do you work with anyone your age? Although it may be frowned upon now to have a relationship with someone you work with, the same principle as the running club applies: a colleague may have a friend who you may end up meeting and "matching" with.
Reply 3
Original post by Smack
If you want to get into a relationship you'll need to meet girls (presume you're looking for a girl). Clubs and hobbies are good places to do this. Even if (which it appears is that case with the running club) there isn't anyone suitable there, one of the runners may know someone who would be, who you may end up getting to know at a social, for example. And what about work? Do you work with anyone your age? Although it may be frowned upon now to have a relationship with someone you work with, the same principle as the running club applies: a colleague may have a friend who you may end up meeting and "matching" with.
I work with some people similar age to me, one my school year and few others 19-21. If you think it'd be good to meet people through mutual friends, how would I go about doing this? I wouldn't want to straight up ask "do you know anyone" but I don't know how I'd work things so this could fall into place.

Also, do you know any other types of clubs where I could meet people more similar to me in age?
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
I work with some people similar age to me, one my school year and few others 19-21. If you think it'd be good to meet people through mutual friends, how would I go about doing this? I wouldn't want to straight up ask "do you know anyone" but I don't know how I'd work things so this could fall into place.

Also, do you know any other types of clubs where I could meet people more similar to me in age?

So you socialise with people you work with - or people from the running club - outside of work?
Reply 5
Original post by Smack
So you socialise with people you work with - or people from the running club - outside of work?

I don't really say much at work, to be honest I'm struggling in the office and not really enjoying being there at the moment. I socialise a bit at the running club, been on a couple of the nights out/Christmas party. I just want to know how socialising with people can eventually lead to meeting someone they know is single, like you suggested. How would the conversation swing that way?
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
I don't really say much at work, to be honest I'm struggling in the office and not really enjoying being there at the moment. I socialise a bit at the running club, been on a couple of the nights out/Christmas party. I just want to know how socialising with people can eventually lead to meeting someone they know is single, like you suggested. How would the conversation swing that way?

If you are socialising with people you may end up meeting some of their other friends, who may be single. You don't really "ask" as such. This is still, I believe, quite a common way for couples to meet - friends of friends.

Quick Reply