Can I do anything well?
I'm not a mental health expert, so the following should be taken with a grain of salt.
Consider:
•
Going back into therapy - if you don't already; and your schedule isn't as intensive now compared to when you were in uni
•
I am guessing self esteem issues being the main thing
•
Reflect on why things happened the way they did - there is usually a common pattern somewhere, and no I am not referring to what you think about yourself/self esteem issues e.g. self sabotage, overthink, etc
•
If it helps, draw a circle, then label your issues that are feeding into this vicious cycle. You break cycles by identifying the factors first.
•
Granted that a 3rd degree isn't likely to get you anywhere much. However, even with A Levels alone, there are 600+ different careers that you can go into; working in a bar is not your only option. If anything, some employers won't be concerned about you being overqualified.
•
Consider self improvement - despite the downsides to this, there are a lot of techniques that you can pick up to help you get over your current hurdle
•
Reflect on what you can do better next time or ways to mitigate the problems you keep finding yourself in- we make micro-improvements most of the time as opposed to drastic leaps. Read up on Kaizen. Even a 1% improvement compounds to large numbers over time.
•
Find mentors and get advice from people who either in the situation you want or have done the things you wish to do
•
Have you considered finding your sense of identity? Whose life are you actually living?
•
Have you reflected on why you feel anxious? Is it due to a lack of experience (which is normal) or is it because of something else?
•
The small changes can make a big difference. Implementing a few of the above can make an impact if you know what the specific problems are and you have effective solutions
•
Journaling - it helps you plan your day, reflect on what you did, and help you track your progress. At the very least, getting things down in writing would free up mental space and offload your concerns
•
If you are not getting the results you want to achieve, have you ever thought that it's due to your approach? I would speak to a mentor or someone with more experience about this.
•
I'd be interested to know what ideals and standard you hold for yourself. I would then question them and whether they are truly the standards you determined for yourself or whether they were set by someone else. If so, who set them and why.
•
Meditation does wonders for mindless mental chatter and focus - something I think you need
Without knowing more about your specific situation, I think the above is all the generic pointers that I can offer.
Consider:
•
Going back into therapy - if you don't already; and your schedule isn't as intensive now compared to when you were in uni
•
I am guessing self esteem issues being the main thing
•
Reflect on why things happened the way they did - there is usually a common pattern somewhere, and no I am not referring to what you think about yourself/self esteem issues e.g. self sabotage, overthink, etc
•
If it helps, draw a circle, then label your issues that are feeding into this vicious cycle. You break cycles by identifying the factors first.
•
Granted that a 3rd degree isn't likely to get you anywhere much. However, even with A Levels alone, there are 600+ different careers that you can go into; working in a bar is not your only option. If anything, some employers won't be concerned about you being overqualified.
•
Consider self improvement - despite the downsides to this, there are a lot of techniques that you can pick up to help you get over your current hurdle
•
Reflect on what you can do better next time or ways to mitigate the problems you keep finding yourself in- we make micro-improvements most of the time as opposed to drastic leaps. Read up on Kaizen. Even a 1% improvement compounds to large numbers over time.
•
Find mentors and get advice from people who either in the situation you want or have done the things you wish to do
•
Have you considered finding your sense of identity? Whose life are you actually living?
•
Have you reflected on why you feel anxious? Is it due to a lack of experience (which is normal) or is it because of something else?
•
The small changes can make a big difference. Implementing a few of the above can make an impact if you know what the specific problems are and you have effective solutions
•
Journaling - it helps you plan your day, reflect on what you did, and help you track your progress. At the very least, getting things down in writing would free up mental space and offload your concerns
•
If you are not getting the results you want to achieve, have you ever thought that it's due to your approach? I would speak to a mentor or someone with more experience about this.
•
I'd be interested to know what ideals and standard you hold for yourself. I would then question them and whether they are truly the standards you determined for yourself or whether they were set by someone else. If so, who set them and why.
•
Meditation does wonders for mindless mental chatter and focus - something I think you need
Without knowing more about your specific situation, I think the above is all the generic pointers that I can offer.
Hey! Sorry for not seeing this sooner, for some reason I wasn't notified and thank you for this list of things I will consider.
I think like the standards I hold myself to are, that of somewhat common within artistic fields, is that of perfectionism. But additionally that of "my best is good enough" which is something my dad always tried to tell me. I know perfection is impossible, just feel like it's impossible to achieve or to be satisfied enough with artistic output. My degree was in Graphic Design, which in turn invites a sense of "studio culture" and work ethic that for some reason never clicked with me well enough. I still don't think I'm necessarily a bad designer, just the projects I produced were subpar due to lack of strong research and technicalities, and did learn a lot.
Usually the most common thing within working and doing anything is that I run out of steam quickly and tend to work in sprints in every regard. Additionally, I'm not great at bar work and this was actually my first time going into a role like this but felt like they were too rushed to help or guide me at all within this role due to the busy event. I was adequate (at least from my perspective) for most of the shift but suddenly felt sickly towards the end of it and needed to go home. Did get paid too, which will help me through the summer a bit more.
I have a strong feeling that a lot of my overthinking stems from absolute excess caffeine (like 1.75l of cola a day (which has sadly developed into a legitimate addiction)), a lack of a support system and typical post-Uni existential dread.
Additionally I play in a band which is my main source of joy, and frequent local shows usually multiple times a week.
If there were money to be made in music, I would have done it without doubt just for some reason thought design would be more secure of a field (which has thus far been empty (likely due to the results)).
Tried journaling before but realized I wasn't really doing enough with my days to make it not depressing to do. In a way I kind of do it with my close friends story (which largely consists of people who like don't hate me but like I wouldn't like trust with my life) but don't really know if that's like an actual form of journaling, even if it's like in real time.
I think meditation would be something I'd be very interested into looking into when I'm not loading myself up with insane amounts caffeine and generally have a better diet, but might try it like sometime this week and see how it goes. Additionally not really sure how to go about finding mentors, think there's a lot of people I know but like don't really know anybody with it all sorted out.
Think like the larger worry for me is like worrying that nothing I'm ever going to do is going to matter, and generally a feeling of inept ability to be a positive joyous influence in people's lives as I've pretty much been depressed (on and off) since I was 13 (now 21) (nothing major happened just like bullying and general self doubt).
I do try really hard to be there for people just it feels like I get pretty overwhelmed sometimes. I tried CBT for a few months and just didn't work out, and felt like most progress I made was just affirming thoughts I vaguely had of myself, didn't make it far enough to be able to flip the script on them though. Also def need to chase an ADHD diagnosis at some point, as that is something I have always thought was a potential thing within me.
I think like the standards I hold myself to are, that of somewhat common within artistic fields, is that of perfectionism. But additionally that of "my best is good enough" which is something my dad always tried to tell me. I know perfection is impossible, just feel like it's impossible to achieve or to be satisfied enough with artistic output. My degree was in Graphic Design, which in turn invites a sense of "studio culture" and work ethic that for some reason never clicked with me well enough. I still don't think I'm necessarily a bad designer, just the projects I produced were subpar due to lack of strong research and technicalities, and did learn a lot.
Usually the most common thing within working and doing anything is that I run out of steam quickly and tend to work in sprints in every regard. Additionally, I'm not great at bar work and this was actually my first time going into a role like this but felt like they were too rushed to help or guide me at all within this role due to the busy event. I was adequate (at least from my perspective) for most of the shift but suddenly felt sickly towards the end of it and needed to go home. Did get paid too, which will help me through the summer a bit more.
I have a strong feeling that a lot of my overthinking stems from absolute excess caffeine (like 1.75l of cola a day (which has sadly developed into a legitimate addiction)), a lack of a support system and typical post-Uni existential dread.
Additionally I play in a band which is my main source of joy, and frequent local shows usually multiple times a week.
If there were money to be made in music, I would have done it without doubt just for some reason thought design would be more secure of a field (which has thus far been empty (likely due to the results)).
Tried journaling before but realized I wasn't really doing enough with my days to make it not depressing to do. In a way I kind of do it with my close friends story (which largely consists of people who like don't hate me but like I wouldn't like trust with my life) but don't really know if that's like an actual form of journaling, even if it's like in real time.
I think meditation would be something I'd be very interested into looking into when I'm not loading myself up with insane amounts caffeine and generally have a better diet, but might try it like sometime this week and see how it goes. Additionally not really sure how to go about finding mentors, think there's a lot of people I know but like don't really know anybody with it all sorted out.
Think like the larger worry for me is like worrying that nothing I'm ever going to do is going to matter, and generally a feeling of inept ability to be a positive joyous influence in people's lives as I've pretty much been depressed (on and off) since I was 13 (now 21) (nothing major happened just like bullying and general self doubt).
I do try really hard to be there for people just it feels like I get pretty overwhelmed sometimes. I tried CBT for a few months and just didn't work out, and felt like most progress I made was just affirming thoughts I vaguely had of myself, didn't make it far enough to be able to flip the script on them though. Also def need to chase an ADHD diagnosis at some point, as that is something I have always thought was a potential thing within me.
I think like the standards I hold myself to are, that of somewhat common within artistic fields, is that of perfectionism.
Yep, sounds very familiar.
Usually the most common thing within working and doing anything is that I run out of steam quickly and tend to work in sprints in every regard.
So you work based on inspiration? Moderating yourself is sometimes useful; it's a form of discipline. I normally restrict myself based on the number of hours I do, and I maintain the consistency and regularity of the work, so I know that I am making progress whilst at the same time I don't burn out. You might want to try something similar.
I'm not great at bar work and this was actually my first time going into a role like this but felt like they were too rushed to help or guide me at all within this role due to the busy event.
Yep, they tend to throw you into the fray. Bars only need you when they're busy, and typically don't train you when it's not. If you want pointers on this, let me know.
I have a strong feeling that a lot of my overthinking stems from absolute excess caffeine (like 1.75l of cola a day (which has sadly developed into a legitimate addiction)), a lack of a support system and typical post-Uni existential dread.
Yep, should really cut down on the caffeine - it does also promote anxiety. I would be surprised if your teeth are still in tact after the constant abuse of cola everyday. Personally, I would cut out cola entirely from your diet.
Typically, the most caffeine that you should have would be a cup of tea or coffee in the morning. Any more, and it can cause anxiety and stress that you don't need. Overthinking is sometimes a symptom of this.
Do you have friends who you can speak to or have you seen a counsellor regarding your situation?
I would have done it without doubt just for some reason thought design would be more secure of a field (which has thus far been empty (likely due to the results)).
Do you have a portfolio? How have you been applying for jobs?
Tried journaling before but realized I wasn't really doing enough with my days to make it not depressing to do.
Usually meeting more people and having more conversations tend to help fill your day more.
In a way I kind of do it with my close friends story (which largely consists of people who like don't hate me but like I wouldn't like trust with my life) but don't really know if that's like an actual form of journaling, even if it's like in real time.
Sounds more like a group therapy and story writing exercise.
I normally regard journaling as a means of detailing your intimate thoughts - getting it out of your system is kind of the point of it.
generally have a better diet
What is your diet like and are you exercising?
Additionally not really sure how to go about finding mentors, think there's a lot of people I know but like don't really know anybody with it all sorted out.
Do you at least know someone who is a professional graphics designer who can give you guidance on jobs?
Finding and learning from people who has figured some things out can often help. Do you at least know where to look for such people?
Think like the larger worry for me is like worrying that nothing I'm ever going to do is going to matter, and generally a feeling of inept ability to be a positive joyous influence in people's lives as I've pretty much been depressed (on and off) since I was 13 (now 21) (nothing major happened just like bullying and general self doubt).
Sense of significance? Who do you exactly want to be a positive joyous influence on? Is the type of music that you make positive? What sort of audience or people do you want to be significant to?
Counselling is something you should look into (as opposed to just CBT).
I do try really hard to be there for people just it feels like I get pretty overwhelmed sometimes
Sounds like introversion
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