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Advice for forming close friendships

I've always struggled to make good close friendships with people.
I have people I consider friends but they never spend time with me (we talk regularly via text though and they don't live near me).
My problem is that I fear if I become friends with someone they'll find someone else and forget about me.

I spend so much time on my own.
Does anyone have advice on how to change my situation so I can make friends with people who actually want to spend time with me?
What defines a close friendship?
Thank you in advance.

Reply 1

Phoenix5680

Original post by UOM2024

I've always struggled to make good close friendships with people.
I have people I consider friends but they never spend time with me (we talk regularly via text though and they don't live near me).
My problem is that I fear if I become friends with someone they'll find someone else and forget about me.
I spend so much time on my own.
Does anyone have advice on how to change my situation so I can make friends with people who actually want to spend time with me?
What defines a close friendship?
Thank you in advance.

I often find myself in a similar place to you, and am still working out how to deal with it, but I do have a few thoughts to share.

Lots of people don't meet up regularly and that can be difficult to cope with if you personally like that and seek that out, however it doesn't indicate that they don't want to. They might be busy, or just not think about it.

Friends will always have other friends, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're any less of a friend, nor that you'll be forgotten. That's a difficult fear to get past, but just keep trying and remembering that everyone has these fears as well, and keep yourself open to friendship opportunities that come your way. Spending lots of time on your own when you wish you weren't is never fun. Is there anything social you can do? Good ways to meet people can be through working or volunteering, or joining social groups such as D&D or anything else you might find in your area.

Changing your situation is unfortunately easier said than done. Just remember that you aren't the problem, and your situation will naturally shift as time passes. Close friendship doesn't have a full definition, unfortunately. It might be a friend in your group who you naturally gravitate towards and who gravitates towards you. Try not to set your standards too high, even if you think you do for others what you wish they'd do for you. Eventually you'll find someone who does match your enthusiasm, one would hope, but don't let the fact you're not there yet push you away from people who are just "friends".

I wish you the best of luck :smile: