Coping with Social Anxiety and Making Friends at University

Hi everyone,

I'm about to start university and I'm feeling really anxious about making friends. I know it's a common concern, but I struggle with social anxiety and I'm worried this might make it even harder. Does anyone have any tips or strategies for meeting new people and forming connections, especially for someone who finds social situations challenging? Are there any particular clubs or activities that might be more welcoming for introverts?

Thanks,
Elena Idioms

(edited 3 months ago)

Reply 1

EdgeHillStudents

Official Rep

Original post by modismos

Hi everyone,
I'm about to start university and I'm feeling really anxious about making friends. I know it's a common concern, but I struggle with social anxiety and I'm worried this might make it even harder. Does anyone have any tips or strategies for meeting new people and forming connections, especially for someone who finds social situations challenging? Are there any particular clubs or activities that might be more welcoming for introverts?

Thanks,
Elena

Hi @modismos !

I completely understand this feeling and felt the same way before starting uni myself. My advice would be to see if there are any societies that you are interested in as it is so much easier to talk to people when they share the same interests as you. During freshers, most universities will run events on campus which are great ways to meet people. I personally found it easiest to talk to others when I was starting my classes and meeting the people in my course.

My advice would mainly be to not worry too much. I didn't make friends right away, but when I did they were true friends I now consider to be super close. Also remember that everyone is in the same boat and most likely just as nervous!

I hope you have a great time starting university!!😄

Emily
Second Year Creative Writing

Reply 2

Uni of Southampton Students

Official Rep

Original post by modismos

Hi everyone,
I'm about to start university and I'm feeling really anxious about making friends. I know it's a common concern, but I struggle with social anxiety and I'm worried this might make it even harder. Does anyone have any tips or strategies for meeting new people and forming connections, especially for someone who finds social situations challenging? Are there any particular clubs or activities that might be more welcoming for introverts?

Thanks,
Elena

Hey @modismos

It's totally normal to feel nervous about making friends when you first start university. I remember being in your shoes last year - feeling so anxious about socialising at university. Here are some of my tips that really helped me and hopefully help you too -

First of all, remember that everyone is in the same boat as you! Most students find it daunting to socialise when they first get to uni, and that is completely okay. Try and don't worry about it! I focused on approaching one or two people at a time, rather than a larger group, as it makes it easier to manage the interaction initially.

I would highly recommend to join a few student clubs and societies, it is a great way to get involved and meet some amazing new people. It's also a good idea to go to the university fresher events as they make it so easy to meet new people and make friends!

Also, accommodation can be great place to start socialising! I remember going to a pizza event at my accommodation during the first few weeks and talking to so many people there. Some of them are now my close friends!

Overall, just remember to take things at your own pace! It's more important to find genuine friendships than to know everyone.

I hope this helps!

All the best,
Akshita Gupta
(University of Southampton Student Rep)

(edited 3 months ago)

Reply 3

modismos

Original post by EdgeHillStudents

Hi @modismos !
I completely understand this feeling and felt the same way before starting uni myself. My advice would be to see if there are any societies that you are interested in as it is so much easier to talk to people when they share the same interests as you. During freshers, most universities will run events on campus which are great ways to meet people. I personally found it easiest to talk to others when I was starting my classes and meeting the people in my course.
My advice would mainly be to not worry too much. I didn't make friends right away, but when I did they were true friends I now consider to be super close. Also remember that everyone is in the same boat and most likely just as nervous!
I hope you have a great time starting university!!😄
Emily
Second Year Creative Writing

Hi Emily,
Thank you for sharing your experience and advice! It's comforting to know that it's normal to feel nervous at the start and that it gets easier over time. I'll definitely look into joining societies and attending events during freshers. It's reassuring to hear that finding true friends might take some time but is worth it.

Thanks again, and best of luck with your second year in Creative Writing! 😊

Best,
Elena

Reply 4

modismos

Original post by Uni of Southampton Students

Hey @modismos
It's totally normal to feel nervous about making friends when you first start university. I remember being in your shoes last year - feeling so anxious about socialising at university. Here are some of my tips that really helped me and hopefully help you too -
First of all, remember that everyone is in the same boat as you! Most students find it daunting to socialise when they first get to uni, and that is completely okay. Try and don't worry about it! Approaching one or two people at a time rather than a larger group can make it much easier to manage the interaction initially.
I would highly recommend to join a few student clubs and societies, it is a great way to get involved and meet some amazing new people. It's also a good idea to go to the university fresher events as they make it so easy to make friends!
Also, accommodation can be great place to start socialising! I remember going to a pizza event at my accommodation during the first few weeks and talking to so many people there. Some of them are now my close friends!
Overall, just remember to take things at your own pace! It's more important to find a genuine friendships than to know everyone.
I hope this helps!
All the best,
Akshita Gupta
(University of Southampton Student Rep)

Hey Akshita,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and tips! It’s really reassuring to know that others have felt the same way and found ways to make friends. I'll definitely check out some clubs and fresher events. Your advice about taking things at my own pace is really helpful.

Reply 5

University of Bath

Official Rep

Hi @modismos ,

Some great advice on here already, and I'd second it all 🙂 just thought I'd jump in here because I also had social anxiety whilst at uni so thought I could share what I wish I'd known! :

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You are in a wholly new and unfamiliar environment - its a huge leap. Give yourself time to find your feet, settle in, and explore the place a bit more. You don't have to meet loads of people immediately - there will be tons of opportunities in freshers week, your first year and beyond. I didn't meet my good friends until my second year!

Set yourself some achievable goals. I started freshers' week with the intention of starting conversations with 10 new people over arrivals weekend, and ask 5 new people out for coffee over the course of the week, and to go to at least 3 society taster events. It helped take the pressure off a bit and made me feel good about doing what I aimed to do.

Bring baked goods to your accommodation on arrivals weekend. It sounds daft, but when I started uni one of my biggest fears was starting off conversations with people, and bringing in brownies I'd made at home and sticking them on the kitchen counter for my new flatmates to share was a great way to break the ice with them. A conversation that started off being about baking ended up with introducing ourselves, where we were from, what we were studying, an an invitation to explore the freshers' fair later.

I really hope that helps. But for the record, things do fall into place when you get there and settle in and its never as scary as it seems :smile:

Holly
University of Bath

(edited 3 months ago)

Reply 6

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Original post by modismos

Hi everyone,
I'm about to start university and I'm feeling really anxious about making friends. I know it's a common concern, but I struggle with social anxiety and I'm worried this might make it even harder. Does anyone have any tips or strategies for meeting new people and forming connections, especially for someone who finds social situations challenging? Are there any particular clubs or activities that might be more welcoming for introverts?

Thanks,
Elena

Hi @modismos ,

I thought I could add some of my advice to the great advice that is already on here!

Firstly, I would agree that joining a society is a great way of meeting new people and making friends. I also found that it was a fun way of just getting out of the house and doing something fun that you enjoy which can be really good for you, so there are lots of benefits to joining one! I would say to go to the freshers society and sports fairs and have a look around at what is on offer that you could join and then go to some trial sessions for some of them if you like the look of them! This is a good way of seeing what they are like without having any commitment or pressure to join them if you don't really enjoy it. I would also say that they are quite good because everyone there wants to make friends so you don't have to go out of your way as much to talk to people as everyone will be quite chatty.

I would also say that looking on some groups before you come to uni is a good way of meeting people before you arrive. If you go on Facebook there will be groups for your university and usually some for your accommodation too where people post what flat they are in so you can see if you can find anyone that will be in your flat. If you join these, it's good to talk to some people on there as it takes the pressure away a little bit when you arrive as you already have spoken to some people. It's usually less daunting to talk to people over social media rather than face to face so it's a good way to start conversations with people!

I would echo what others have said too which is not to put too much pressure on yourself to find your best friends in freshers week. Just think of freshers week as a fun week and try and speak to as many people as you can but if you haven't found your best friends straight away, don't stress too much as it will come! Lots of people don't find their closest friends until a bit later on so just take freshers week as a week to have fun and meet some new people, rather than feeling like you have to speak to everyone and make loads of friends.

However, I would encourage you to try and put yourself out there as much as you can. Freshers week is the perfect time to talk to people and ask them if they want to make plans with you as everyone wats to make friends so nobody would think this was strange of you to do as everyone will be doing it! Try and ask one person a day if they want to make plans with you, or set yourself a goal to talk to at least one new person a day and you will feel a lot more comfortable doing this after a bit of time.

If you are living in halls, try and spend time in the communal areas during the first few weeks as much as you can as this makes it easier later on down the line as the last thing you would want is to feel awkward in the kitchen. If you try and spend some time with people there in the first week or so, you will feel so much more comfortable with everyone as you will get to know them a lot so I would encourage trying to do this as much as you can.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.