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#1
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#1
Any you know? I need some desperately! Thanks!
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wiwarin_mir
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#2
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#2
I made this one up last night:

1: "maturity is over-rated"

2: "no it's not"

3: "it's ok for what it is"
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sleepyeba
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#3
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I can't take the credit, I found this while browsing a random site:

A slut is a woman with the morals of a man
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#4
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#4
More please.
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NDGAARONDI
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#5
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#5
"You're as mature as milk."
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Cellardore
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#6
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#6
you're as welcome as a fart in a telephone box
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sleepyeba
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#7
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#7
http://www.quotationspage.com
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James070185
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#8
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#8
ok i dont get that one
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Cellardore
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#9
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#9
lol! a walking what?
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You
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#10
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#10
(Original post by wiwarin_mir)
I made this one up last night:

1: "maturity is over-rated"

2: "no it's not"

3: "it's ok for what it is"
I don't get it.
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M-J
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#11
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#11
as confused as a baby in a topless bar
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You
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#12
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#12
(Original post by M-J)
as confused as a baby in a topless bar
pleasse explain how this is funny/witty
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M-J
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#13
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#13
its pretty self explainitory....enles you explain what you wish to witty about there isnt much we can say
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visesh
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#14
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#14
Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!
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Cellardore
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#15
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#15
last night i lay in bed looking at the stars in the sky and thought to myself....
where the heck is the ceiling?!
lol love that one.
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puppy
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#16
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#16
(Original post by sleepyeba)
I can't take the credit, I found this while browsing a random site:

A slut is a woman with the morals of a man
LOL I love it


"I'm not drunk, i'm just exhausted 'cos i've been up all night drinking"
~ Peter Griffin in "Family Guy"
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Profesh
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#17
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#17
"Life is a story of conflicting self-interests."

"It is never too early to sow the seeds of sycophancy."

"She's been around the block more times than a Communist hooker."

"Life begins at Uni; and then again at forty. So, look on the bright side: with that many lives, probability dictates you'll have sex at least once."

"It's difficult to notice the ground beneath your feet, when you're trying to touch the stars."

"Don't be pedantic; be correct. Were everyone correct, I could go back to sleep."

"When people disagree with me, usually, it is because they are wrong."

"Physical strength is for cowards; a little pain builds character."

"Spherical Bass: no matter how you drop it, it just keeps on rolling!"

"Sarcasm without substance is nothing at all."

"Starbuck's is about the only place I know where a mug can be half full, and still contain no coffee."

"What not to say to a hooker: ''Now, once more - with feeling!""

"Were your brow any lower, I'd trip over it."

"The Skoda has the suspension of a bridge, and is about half as manoeuvreable."

"You know when you've been drinking absinthe: onomatopoeia hurts."

"You can keep your scalenes and archipelagos!" (On guitar technique)

"He's like Johnny Vegas in Johnny Vegas' body."

"You're the most original excuse for a human being I've ever met."

"I swear: God has a vendetta against me. Perhaps it is because I refuse to believe in him."

"He wields a badminton racket as most would wield a samurai sword: two-handed, and badly."

"I'm like a concept car: sure, I'm hardly user-friendly, and the ride hurts like hell; but who else gets you from nought to sixty in under two seconds?"

"It has come to my attention lately that I appear to be larger than life. But I am certain that life will outgrow me in time."

Teacher: "The Chair of the House of Lords sits on the 'woolsack'; so called because it symbolises the way in which Britain created its fortune." Me: "On its arse?"
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Profesh
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#18
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#18
I hope that will suffice :rolleyes:
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ali_bongo_uk
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Profesh)
"Life is a story of conflicting self-interests."

"It is never too early to sow the seeds of sycophancy."

"She's been around the block more times than a Communist hooker."

"Life begins at Uni; and then again at forty. So, look on the bright side: with that many lives, probability dictates you'll have sex at least once."

"It's difficult to notice the ground beneath your feet, when you're trying to touch the stars."

"Don't be pedantic; be correct. Were everyone correct, I could go back to sleep."

"When people disagree with me, usually, it is because they are wrong."

"Physical strength is for cowards; a little pain builds character."

"Spherical Bass: no matter how you drop it, it just keeps on rolling!"

"Sarcasm without substance is nothing at all."

"Starbuck's is about the only place I know where a mug can be half full, and still contain no coffee."

"What not to say to a hooker: ''Now, once more - with feeling!""

"Were your brow any lower, I'd trip over it."

"The Skoda has the suspension of a bridge, and is about half as manoeuvreable."

"You know when you've been drinking absinthe: onomatopoeia hurts."

"You can keep your scalenes and archipelagos!" (On guitar technique)

"He's like Johnny Vegas in Johnny Vegas' body."

"You're the most original excuse for a human being I've ever met."

"I swear: God has a vendetta against me. Perhaps it is because I refuse to believe in him."

"He wields a badminton racket as most would wield a samurai sword: two-handed, and badly."

"I'm like a concept car: sure, I'm hardly user-friendly, and the ride hurts like hell; but who else gets you from nought to sixty in under two seconds?"

"It has come to my attention lately that I appear to be larger than life. But I am certain that life will outgrow me in time."

Teacher: "The Chair of the House of Lords sits on the 'woolsack'; so called because it symbolises the way in which Britain created its fortune." Me: "On its arse?"


Do you have that much spare time to write all that???????????
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alkaeda
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#20
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#20
www.goodquotes.com
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