The Student Room Group

Moving away from home for uni

long story short: I want to move out of london for uni (most preferably sheffield) but my parents want me to stay in london
the unis in london aren't the best for the course I want to do, only queen mary's and middlesex do my preffered course, i went to sheffield summer school and i think its fantastic and i really wanna go there (loughborough and essex are my other options)

i'm black and my mum is always emphasising that there are lots of racist people up north in england and that i won't be safe

do i just do what i want to do and go out of london or do i stay???
It's important to listen to your parents and trust their instincts. However try and visit those places in order to get a feel of them and see if what your mum tells you is true.
Hiya @dooby_boss ,

I'd definitely agree with @silver-haired-an that it would be good to listen to your parents and hear their concerns, but its also important to let them hear your point of view. Aside from visiting your chosen unis (esp Sheffield if this is your number 1), then it might be useful to try to chat to a few of the current as this is just the kind of question they'll be able to answer better than anyone. You can find plenty here on Sheffield's website. I'm sure your other choices will have something similar :smile:

I hope that helps, but please post away if you have any more questions,

Holly
University of Bath
Original post by dooby_boss
long story short: I want to move out of london for uni (most preferably sheffield) but my parents want me to stay in london
the unis in london aren't the best for the course I want to do, only queen mary's and middlesex do my preffered course, i went to sheffield summer school and i think its fantastic and i really wanna go there (loughborough and essex are my other options)
i'm black and my mum is always emphasising that there are lots of racist people up north in england and that i won't be safe
do i just do what i want to do and go out of london or do i stay???

Hi there,

I would also agree with what others are saying in that it is important to listen to your parents and what they think is best for you, but ultimately you are an adult and you have to make the decision that is best for you. If you feel that moving out of London is the best thing for you and your future, you should seriously consider doing this.

It's a good idea to talk to your parents about how you feel and explain that the universities near you in London are not as good for the course you want to do so you would benefit a lot form going somewhere further away so you can go to a university which is good for your course. You have to spend three/four years or even more at University studying so you might as well try and go somewhere which is known for being good for your specific course as this will also help you to get a job after uni!

As you have been to Sheffield for a summer school, this gives you more reason to show that you were safe and that you can be safe going to a university outside of London. This might help your parents to see that it will be okay if you leave London. You could try and see if your parents will come to any open days with you as this might also help the to see for themselves that other places are still safe and they might come around to the idea of you moving there once they have been there themselves.

Going to an open day would also give your family the opportunity to ask any questions they might have to people at the uni which again might help them to get the answers they need to feel happy and content with you moving away. As has been mentioned, it might also help for you to chat to some current students on the open day and online as this might answer any questions you have form a student's perspective which can sometimes be the most honest and reliable perspective on things like this.

The University of Sheffield is very diverse and it might help your parents to read some of the equality and diversity statements that they have on their website which you can find here: https://www.sheffield.ac.uk/inclusion#:~:text=We%20are%20proud%20that%20women,10%2C047%20students%20from%20140%20countries.

Rachel Smith is the Director of equality, inclusion and diversity at the University of Sheffield and you can find her email here: [email protected] if you or your parents wanted to ask her any questions. I am sure you can find similar people for the other Universities that you are thinking of applying for!

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Reply 4
Original post by silver-haired-an
It's important to listen to your parents and trust their instincts. However try and visit those places in order to get a feel of them and see if what your mum tells you is true.

i did and what i experienced up north was the exact opposite of what my mum told me, that's why i'm quite lost now
cause whatever positive things I say to them (which i did when i finished the summer school) they didn't seem to care
(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by dooby_boss
i did and what i experienced up north was the exact opposite of what my mum told me, that's why i'm quite lost now
cause whatever positive things I say to them (which i did when i finished the summer school) they didn't seem to care


Make sure you're able to go on open days with them. Often them being able to experience this lack of racism will help them feel reassured. Talk to current students (of any minority as well as black students) to get an idea of their experiences. Universities do have diversity departments so you should be able to speak to these staff members, although obviously that does not reflect the city. Walk around the area and get to know it.

(Whilst this might not be good with the current rioting, there has been no reported issues at universities so that might put them more at ease?)

Hope this helps :smile:
It think you should go and do what you want location is very important when it comes to university. I made the mistake of going somewhere I wasn’t too sure about (I liked the shopping centre and confused that with the city) and it really doesn’t work and ultimately I dropped out ( I did go somewhere else later on) go where you want you don’t want to regret it later on.

There are less people of colour in the north but I doubt there is rampant racism or prejudice like your Mum seems to think I suspect she has friends who have experienced something bad up there or maybe she has had an experience herself that makes her think that way. Maybe showing her the student union page for the black and Afro Caribbean society (it was a called that at my university ( the one I graduated from.). that might set her mind at ease.
(edited 1 month ago)
Heyy!!
i’m a black student from up north (west - manchester) and while it’s maybe not as diverse as it is in london, i strongly disagree with the idea that it’s more racist. Sheffield is quite diverse too and a really safe and friendly city. I’ve picked it as my top choice and i have no regrets.

I also applied to unis in london (which were actually ranked higher than sheff i.e ucl), but after doing more research, it was just a better idea to stay up north (and go to sheff) for uni.

1.

it’s a LOT cheaper than london , i believe sheffield was ranked as one of the cheapest cities to live in for university students (correct me if i’m wrong).

2.

It’s not as populous, which means you’re going to be surrounded by other uni students like yourself and through that it should hopefully be easier to make friends

3.

Sheffield’s student union has been rated the best in the country for the past 6+ years i believe.


I hope you can persuade your mum, but at the end of the day it’s your future.
Reply 8
Original post by HEXNGRUS
Make sure you're able to go on open days with them. Often them being able to experience this lack of racism will help them feel reassured. Talk to current students (of any minority as well as black students) to get an idea of their experiences. Universities do have diversity departments so you should be able to speak to these staff members, although obviously that does not reflect the city. Walk around the area and get to know it.
(Whilst this might not be good with the current rioting, there has been no reported issues at universities so that might put them more at ease?)
Hope this helps :smile:

tysm, helps a lot ❤️
im trying decide whether to go to uni in london or sheffield too, financially sheffield makes sense and its a really nice place too, but i do love london and its a little closer to home. its important to factor in your parents opinions but i would go with your heartand or the subject you want to do
Original post by dooby_boss
long story short: I want to move out of london for uni (most preferably sheffield) but my parents want me to stay in london
the unis in london aren't the best for the course I want to do, only queen mary's and middlesex do my preffered course, i went to sheffield summer school and i think its fantastic and i really wanna go there (loughborough and essex are my other options)
i'm black and my mum is always emphasising that there are lots of racist people up north in england and that i won't be safe
do i just do what i want to do and go out of london or do i stay???

Sheffield is far safer than London ... it's your life. Get them to look at the crime stats for example.
Original post by Anonymous
Heyy!!
i’m a black student from up north (west - manchester) and while it’s maybe not as diverse as it is in london, i strongly disagree with the idea that it’s more racist. Sheffield is quite diverse too and a really safe and friendly city. I’ve picked it as my top choice and i have no regrets.
I also applied to unis in london (which were actually ranked higher than sheff i.e ucl), but after doing more research, it was just a better idea to stay up north (and go to sheff) for uni.

1.

it’s a LOT cheaper than london , i believe sheffield was ranked as one of the cheapest cities to live in for university students (correct me if i’m wrong).

2.

It’s not as populous, which means you’re going to be surrounded by other uni students like yourself and through that it should hopefully be easier to make friends

3.

Sheffield’s student union has been rated the best in the country for the past 6+ years i believe.


I hope you can persuade your mum, but at the end of the day it’s your future.

thx a lot bro (i woulda liked your comment ages ago but it wouldn't let me for some reason)
Reply 12
I am white so can't comment on experiences with racism obviously BUT I just wanted to rep sheffield uni for a bit - I cannot imagine being anywhere else, I love it so so much. As a woman, i feel a lot safer than at other uni cities when I have visited friends (notts, birmingham etc.) What course are you planning on doing? If you have any questions please let me know! I do molecular bio/biochem just in case..
Also, with the riots recently, there were a huge number of anti-racism protesters, far outnumbering the racist ones. Just in case this makes you feel a bit better: https://www.itv.com/news/calendar/2024-08-10/we-resist-racism-hundreds-of-people-take-to-the-streets-across-yorkshire
Original post by dooby_boss
long story short: I want to move out of london for uni (most preferably sheffield) but my parents want me to stay in london
the unis in london aren't the best for the course I want to do, only queen mary's and middlesex do my preffered course, i went to sheffield summer school and i think its fantastic and i really wanna go there (loughborough and essex are my other options)
i'm black and my mum is always emphasising that there are lots of racist people up north in england and that i won't be safe
do i just do what i want to do and go out of london or do i stay???

Hiya :smile:

What course are you interested in doing?

It's totally understandable to want to move away for uni, and it sounds like you're doing the right thing by weighing up your options. Have you had a chance to visit some campuses that you're interested in? Would your parents agree to compromise and visit some open days with you?

Essex is a great international campus, very safe, with a security team on call 24 hours a day. The Colchester campus (Hythe train station) is literally an hour from London Liverpool Street, so we're far enough away that you can have your independence but not too far from home either.

Your mum might be worried that if you're too far away and you have an unsafe experience that they won't be able to protect you. She has valid concerns based on her own life experiences, but it is up to you to decide what you would like to do and where you would like to live. It's a part of growing up that you're making these important decisions, but to your parents it's difficult to see you becoming an adult. See if they're open to a discussion where you can write a pros and cons list together so that they can see that you're hearing their concerns, but equally you have your own views for your future as well.

Best of luck!
Essex Student Rep - Hayley
Original post by isla21!
I am white so can't comment on experiences with racism obviously BUT I just wanted to rep sheffield uni for a bit - I cannot imagine being anywhere else, I love it so so much. As a woman, i feel a lot safer than at other uni cities when I have visited friends (notts, birmingham etc.) What course are you planning on doing? If you have any questions please let me know! I do molecular bio/biochem just in case..
Also, with the riots recently, there were a huge number of anti-racism protesters, far outnumbering the racist ones. Just in case this makes you feel a bit better: https://www.itv.com/news/calendar/2024-08-10/we-resist-racism-hundreds-of-people-take-to-the-streets-across-yorkshire

tysm, i like sheffield a lot from what i've seen in person, i'm thinking of doing either mechanical engineering, aeorospace, electronic engineering or mechatronic and robotic engineering (my love for maths is unreal)
i don't have any questions for now but if i do, could i dm you??
Reply 15
Original post by dooby_boss
tysm, i like sheffield a lot from what i've seen in person, i'm thinking of doing either mechanical engineering, aeorospace, electronic engineering or mechatronic and robotic engineering (my love for maths is unreal)
i don't have any questions for now but if i do, could i dm you??

Yes of course! I also know loads of engineers, you will not be short for finding others!! my flatmate does mechanical engineering and she loves it.

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