my mum being weird

I don’t know what to do so my mum is a house wife and every time I go out my my partner, she emotionally makes me feel bad and in a way I’m always scared to tell her oh I’m going out with him or if I’m going anywhere. I don’t know what this is but it’s making me feel really down because she says oh look you’re leaving your mum with all the mess and going out. Firstly I literally work 4 times a week and the rest I obviously have to go out with my partner or else our relationship will break. To be honest it is breaking and I don’t know what to do. I just went upstairs today to my room and slept because I’m not in the mood at all

Reply 1

black tea

19

Maybe don't leave a mess for your mum to clean up?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Most people work 5 even 6 days a week AND they also have kids to take care of, prepare meals and do the washing!
You think you have it hard because you're told to clear up your mess & you work 4 days and must see your partner??? you're living the life of Riley!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

In context, I did clean up and I do clean up our house is being done right now. I don’t understand why everyone is saying to clean my mess when I do

Reply 4

heart2you

15

Original post by Anonymous

Most people work 5 even 6 days a week AND they also have kids to take care of, prepare meals and do the washing!
You think you have it hard because you're told to clear up your mess & you work 4 days and must see your partner??? you're living the life of Riley!

this isn't about them complaining about cleaning up mess, it's about their mum making them feel bad for going out. Going out is a very normal thing and relationships will break down if you neglect them.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by heart2you

this isn't about them complaining about cleaning up mess, it's about their mum making them feel bad for going out. Going out is a very normal thing and relationships will break down if you neglect them.

". I don’t know what this is but it’s making me feel really down because she says oh look you’re leaving your mum with all the mess and going out."

Perhaps they should think more of their relationship with their mum who has consistently provided a roof over their head and cooks and cleans for them & the possibility of that breaking down & be a bit less entitled about their relationship with their boyfriend/girlfriend. There's always a middle ground to be found.

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

Move out - and then you might appreciate her.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

You’re all taking it the wrong way because I do clean up and help so much around the house. This is just a comment emotionally my mum made because our house is getting done. I clean up I’m not a child. It’s more about her saying this every time when I go out with my partner

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by heart2you

this isn't about them complaining about cleaning up mess, it's about their mum making them feel bad for going out. Going out is a very normal thing and relationships will break down if you neglect them.

Exactly thank god someone understands

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Move out - and then you might appreciate her.

It’s easy said than done

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

You dont have a 'partner' - you have a boyf.
Stop trying to pretend that you are a grown-up - you have a p/time job and no responsibilities.

Reply 11

black tea

19

Original post by Anonymous

You dont have a 'partner' - you have a boyf.
Stop trying to pretend that you are a grown-up - you have a p/time job and no responsibilities.

OP could very well be 30, they haven't said what age they are.

Reply 12

milly.jessica

5

jesus everybody in this thread is mean

Reply 13

Anonymous #4

I can understand what you're going through. I lived with a family for a while and my housemates' mum sometimes acted the same as yours does, but it also got to the point where she would nag at them to deep clean the house even when they've already cleaned it earlier in the day and just came back from a 10-hour shift at work. The same thing with going out, but I've seen all the work they do at home, and the extra money they always set aside for their parents (we are uni students). I think it could be a good idea for you to speak to your mum about it. Although it may seem unreasonable, parents most of the time have reasons for acting a certain way, and they won't know how you feel if you don't say anything. She may listen or she may not. If it's really that bad, unfortunately the only thing you can do is slowly work your way to moving out.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by anonymous

you dont have a 'partner' - you have a boyf.
Stop trying to pretend that you are a grown-up - you have a p/time job and no responsibilities.

hahahahaha im literally engaged

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

hahahahaha im literally engaged

Not sure what 'literally' engaged is, you're either engaged you're not, no one is 'literally unless engaged in their head! if you are engaged why are you living at home with your mum and adult with relationship problems do not post on the 'student room'.

Reply 16

niyyahh1

1

Original post by Anonymous

I don’t know what to do so my mum is a house wife and every time I go out my my partner, she emotionally makes me feel bad and in a way I’m always scared to tell her oh I’m going out with him or if I’m going anywhere. I don’t know what this is but it’s making me feel really down because she says oh look you’re leaving your mum with all the mess and going out. Firstly I literally work 4 times a week and the rest I obviously have to go out with my partner or else our relationship will break. To be honest it is breaking and I don’t know what to do. I just went upstairs today to my room and slept because I’m not in the mood at all

I say you guys need to have a sit and talk about where you guys stand because it seems like your mum doesn't understand how you are feeling and all the stress that you have. I hope this helps!

my mum being weird

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