not excited for uni

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.

I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.
I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

And I've asked my parents If i could just travel remote - if I get into my chosen unis as they are close but they keep saying no bc they say the whole point on uni is the social aspect. But I can't believe them bc people don't like me. I overanalyze myself and I don't understand whats wrong with me, my friends keep saying that they love who I am but thats bc they are my friends.
If i have no friends in uni then what do I do?

Reply 2

Uni of Southampton Students

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.
I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

Hi there!

I'm Joshua, a 3rd year Comp Sci student at Southampton, hopefully a little of my advice can help.

I understand where you're coming from, before I moved to Uni I was very introverted and I was really really worried that I wasn't going to fit in at the chaos of freshers. In hindsight, I had this expectation in my head that going to freshers for everyone meant being super sociable, really extroverted, going to parties, going to nights out etc. I tried that, and yeah I met some nice people, but there were so many situations where I just wasn't myself, and I realised it wasn't good for me.

However if there's one thing I've learnt for sure at uni, is that you WILL find your people, or they will find you. At most universities with a large amount of people, simply by being yourself and being a nice person will bring the right people your way.

I know freshers can be a really scary and nervous time, but the best advice I can give is just to be yourself. Yes, try to put yourself out there a bit and be open to meet people, but don't join in with the typical hype freshers stuff if its not what will make you happy. No two people's freshers experiences are ever the same, and believe me there will be activities or events for everyone. Give it some time, and then just by simply the amount of people you'll meet will mean you're bound to find some you're going to get on with. I didn't meet some of my best friends until a few months into uni, you never know who you'll meet or when!

Hope this helps,

Joshua 😄

Reply 3

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.
I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

Hello, I'm sorry to hear that you aren't feeling so positive about beginning university. I hope that this response can provide some comfort or help.

I was absolutely terrified to start university, so much so that I deferred my place last minute and took a gap year instead. I almost pulled out a week before move in date after that too! However, most of my fears did dissipate as soon as I arrived. I realised that most other people were feeling at least a little bit nervous or apprehensive about it all. I made some unexpected friends during freshers week, they were very different people compared to my small group from sixth form, but I am still friends with them 2 years later and all the better for it. I did find that making friends during my first year of university was significantly easier than making friends at sixth form. There isn't really any concept of popularity at university as there are just too many people, which helps put everyone at an equal starting point.

I hear where you are coming from by being more interested in your degree than the social aspect and I think this is quite a common starting perspective (certainly one that I had). However, as you settle down and find some societies or hobbies that you haven't tried before, you may find that you are able to embrace the wider university experience as well. As someone who used to be quite introverted, I am shocked at how many new things I tried at university and how many people I have met so far!

Overall, I wouldn't worry about feeling apprehensive towards the social situation at university. It is very different to that at schools / sixth forms so I wouldn't discount it before you've experienced it, and I would definitely recommend trying out some societies so that you don't just live and breathe your degree for three years.

-Kat (Psychology UG Student @ Lancaster University)

Reply 4

Liverpool Hope University

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.
I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you are not looking forward to university and are experiencing some tough feelings.

Everyone has this fear - it is more common than you think. However, the main thing to remember is that university contains people, not just from all over the country, but globally as well. There is such a diverse population of students, and you are bound to come across them in one way or another like others have mentioned here.

If you are willing to make friends - great! It doesn't have to be from your course or your accommodation but other aspects of university as well. One thing that really helped me was getting a part time job in the university, which was becoming a student ambassador. I got to meet people who were in different stages in university, on different courses, and who came from different parts of the UK. Not only that, I developed some key skills such as public speaking through this role by delivering campus tours - this is ideal for uni if you have to deliver a presentation! Joining clubs and societies is also a great way to make friends, as I am sure you may have heard!

Although it may feel daunting in the first couple of weeks or so, remember, it takes time. Do not be disheartened if people seem to become instant friends within the first day - chances are they may not stay friends because they jumped the gun. Remember to stay positive and keep regular contact with other friends and family to ensure you are not completely isolated.

I hope this helps and good luck with your journey!

Estelle :smile:

Graduate Advocate

Reply 5

Chester Student

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.
I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling too excited for university.

Before I came to Chester, I was also very introverted and shy. However, university ended up being totally different for me. I was nervous in the lead up to move-in, but was trying to stay optimistic. It was a struggle at first to put myself out there, but I am so glad I did! The range of opportunities that university offers is immense, meaning I was able to get involved with and explore anything I was interested in. So many people from different walks of life attend university too, so I was sure to find my people (and I did!).

I think it is important to remember that even though it can be hard, it is beneficial to keep an open and positive mindset at university. So many things are different from sixth form and your previous experiences, and it's a great thing! Even though you will still find people who close themselves off and are negative, I have found that they are vastly outweighed by the people who are interested and passionate about their course, life, and making friends.

Making friends with people on your course and going to fresher's fair are great places to start. I'd also recommend signing up for any sport and society taster sessions that interest you - just give it a go if you fancy it! It is also common to be scared about what your flatmates will be like, but please don't worry yourself too much. It might help to bring a few snacks to share when you move in, keep your door open, and try to chat with them early on!

I hope this helps,

Isabella
Geography with a Year Abroad Student

Reply 6

StudentMinds Rep

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.
I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

Hello there👋

Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling about the start of university. Starting this new chapter can be daunting and your feelings are completely valid and I’m sure this will resonate with a lot of other people too🧡 You may find it helpful to explore some of the information and advice on Student Space, especially ‘Building a network at university’ and ‘Managing expectations of university’.

Be kind to yourself and best of luck
-Izzy

Reply 7

University of Bradford

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.
I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

Hey! How are you?

Which course will you be studying? :smile:

When I was a student I ended up just focusing on the academic side of things, and didn't immerse myself in student life at all really. I didn't join clubs and societies, I didn't go party, I didn't go to any freshers events, and that's totally fine. Not everyone has to have the same university experience. It's great to have a balance, but if it's not for you, it's not for you. You never know you might grow in confidence and meet some lifelong friends whilst you're there, and decide to get involved in student life, but don't worry if you don't, there's no pressure at all. One thing I didn't realise until I was at uni was that freshers events didn't just include going out clubbing, there were things that I could go to on my own as well that didn't require going out and socialising, such as clothes fairs, a tea party, movie screenings.

There's opportunities to get involved in volunteering work, becoming a student ambassador, part-time work on campus as other ways of getting involved in student life and meet new people that you might find better suited to you once you start, but again, if not, that's no problem at all. Like I said before I just focused on my studies and doing the best I can in my exams and essays 🙂

Wishing you the best of luck with your university journey! I hope you meet some great people, but ultimately I hope you do whatever makes you comfortable, I hope you love your course! 🙂

Becky

Reply 8

UCLan Student

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I keep seeing so many people say they are excited and they can't wait to be in uni. I do want to go to uni but I just want to go to get a degree. However all my friends are excited for other stuff like freshers week, flat mates etc. I just don't see the hype and I wonder if they are actually truly excited or if they are just very optimistic.
I always look at things realistically so I've always known that uni will not be enjoyable for me - at least the first year, that will probably be the longest year ever. I struggled making friends in sixth form. I had the same friends I had since year 7 and even when I tried to make new ones from other groups, I would just feel unwelcomes and be given side eyes or just be cut off. I've been told that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm nice and funny. I'm just shy and an introvert but I do try to put myself out there or at least seen so people know I exist. I always thought sixth form was supposed to be chill like how everyone was more mature but the fact that some people weren't willing to be my friend just really mad me upset. If anyone tried talking to me, I would love to be their friend and have a convo with them. And it just makes me scared that It will be the same as sixth form and the only difference is that I don't have any friends to fall back on.
I am likely to do a male saturated course and I do plan to go to freshers fair so with those two factors, I do hope to make friends but i'm scared that my flat mates will be terrible.

Hi there!

I am sorry that you are feeling like this and understand your feeling, being a shy person myself. I overthink and over analyse myself and situations too. However, when I moved in, most of the worries went. Things can seem a lot scarier than they actually are. 😊

There are many activities doing freshers not just going out. There is something for everyone. You will make friends one way or another whether that is through a society you are passionate about or flat/class mates. Everything will work out how it is supposed to in the end and I am sure you will not only grow in confidence at uni but come out with friends for life, along side your degree.

Don't forget everyone is different and therefore has a different university experience. Give it some time and I am sure you will love uni life.

Hope this helps 😊
Jakub - Fashion promotion and marketing graduate.