Should I take another gap year?

So, my mum passed away 2 months ago from terminal cancer (she had been battling cancer since I was in year 10/11) and she meant a LOT to me, I don’t think I’ve loved anyone apart from my mum. This has obviously had a significant impact on me and my family (my twin brother and my dad).

I took my first gap year because I wasn’t 100% sure what I wanted to do and I wanted to spend time with my mum before she passed away. I originally wanted to do medicine, but because of my history I feel like my ability to be a good doctor may be impacted by the trauma of the past 5 years (esp the last 1 year), and the NHS Is a mess. But I still really want to make a difference and have a job that’s fulfilling and rewarding.

For context, I achieved: A* in chem, an A* in geography, an A in Biology, and an A* in EPQ and I've self-taught and sat a level maths this year and will probably achieve another A*. My GCSEs are below average (and I mean that). Lots of super + extracurriculars went to a slightly below-performing state comp (rank 2/160).

I have an offer to go to Imperial for this year. But to be frank I’m not a huge fan of Imperial and would’ve preferred to have gone to a uni like Oxford/Cambridge/Princeton because they are situated in smaller cities and are surrounded by the countryside. Since I also plan to train for the world's toughest mudder in the next year I feel like that would’ve been beneficial.

FYI I never actually applied to Oxford or Cambridge because of my GCSEs and my admissions test performance would’ve been below what I would’ve liked because I only would’ve been 2 months into my A-level maths course. I also have/had no knowledge of the admissions system and what to do because I was never invited to the HE+ stuff because of my GCSEs, and they clearly thought I would do ****.

tbh, I’m still not 100% sure about what I want to do. Part of me wants to study materials science and part of me wants to study biomedical engineering. I do love the look of the course that I am planning to start; I'm just not a massive fan of the imperial vibe (I feel like I won’t be happy and I won’t fit in), and I'm not 100% sure about how good the career prospects are for my course. But the main reason I sort of think I should take another gap year is because my family is incredibly dysfunctional at the minute and I'm worried that if I leave they might not survive. My brother has extreme anxiety and depression because of a whole heap of issues (as you can imagine) and my dad has to deal with my brother, the house, the big dogs, and his grief.

If I take another year out I feel like I will be another year behind. I do have a birthday very late into the academic year but even still. The dream would probably be to just go to Cambridge this year so I’m close to my family, not a year behind, with lots of countryside and a flexible course. But oh well that’s not an option LOL.

What should I do?

Reply 1

Farhaad4

I wouldn’t worry too much about being behind in any way as many people start uni very late. Also, go to uni with a clear mind so you can focus on your studies and enjoy your self.

Reply 2

George&Mary

I am so sorry to read about your Mother. My sincere condolences.

It sounds as though it has been a very tough few years for you and your family.

If you are not feeling the Imperial course, or London. Then don’t do it.

Nobody cares how many years you take between school and university, and it sounds as though you have very good grounds for the decisions that you have made. It also sounds from your existing A levels, and the fact that you have taught yourself A level maths in such a short period at such a difficult time, is seriously impressive. I am sure any university that you end up going to will be delighted to have you.

Imperial is a great uni, but personally I am not a fan of the whole London vibe, it seems very busy, and a bit impersonal - and as you say, it may not be quite what you need at the moment. Only you can decide what will work best for you in the circumstances. It is a lot to deal with in a short period.

If you do fancy medicine, or think, perhaps it is something you might come to return to more in the future, you could have a go at sitting the UCAT, with a bit of practice I think you would probably do very well. Plus you might relish the challenge. If you sit it this summer it leaves your options open for the year ahead. If you don’t, you can’t change your mind for another year. And if you did do well, then combined with your A level results there are plenty of med schools that only play lip service to GCSEs, including Cambridge. And that is without your extenuating circumstances.

Take some time for you. I understand your concerns for your family, but don’t neglect yourself in all this. A little mental fun like the UCAT as well as a bit of physical effort like the worlds toughest mudder sounds like an excellent idea. It’s been a hard couple of years, and you have achieved so much. There is no rush for the next stage. Good luck.

Reply 3

User64

Original post by George&Mary

I am so sorry to read about your Mother. My sincere condolences.
It sounds as though it has been a very tough few years for you and your family.
If you are not feeling the Imperial course, or London. Then don’t do it.
Nobody cares how many years you take between school and university, and it sounds as though you have very good grounds for the decisions that you have made. It also sounds from your existing A levels, and the fact that you have taught yourself A level maths in such a short period at such a difficult time, is seriously impressive. I am sure any university that you end up going to will be delighted to have you.
Imperial is a great uni, but personally I am not a fan of the whole London vibe, it seems very busy, and a bit impersonal - and as you say, it may not be quite what you need at the moment. Only you can decide what will work best for you in the circumstances. It is a lot to deal with in a short period.
If you do fancy medicine, or think, perhaps it is something you might come to return to more in the future, you could have a go at sitting the UCAT, with a bit of practice I think you would probably do very well. Plus you might relish the challenge. If you sit it this summer it leaves your options open for the year ahead. If you don’t, you can’t change your mind for another year. And if you did do well, then combined with your A level results there are plenty of med schools that only play lip service to GCSEs, including Cambridge. And that is without your extenuating circumstances.
Take some time for you. I understand your concerns for your family, but don’t neglect yourself in all this. A little mental fun like the UCAT as well as a bit of physical effort like the worlds toughest mudder sounds like an excellent idea. It’s been a hard couple of years, and you have achieved so much. There is no rush for the next stage. Good luck.

Thank you very much for your lovely reply.

I actually did apply to do medicine in year 12 and got 2990 (550 VR, 850 DM, 760 QR, 830 AR) in the ucat. but I also only got a 5 in English language (mostly because of COVID-19 assessed grades), so I could only apply to universities that, to be honest, I wasn’t a massive fan of.

I got 4/4 interviews, but I got told my mum had terminal cancer in October of 2022; it totally threw me. Therefore, I messed up all of the interviews, and they took no consideration of the circumstances, so I got 0 offers. But after my mum's diagnosis, I sort of felt like medicine wouldn’t be for me after seeing how the NHS treated her and how all of this has impacted me. I just didn’t feel like studying medicine at this point in my life would be a good idea (I still don’t know if it is). I suppose I think I would be a good surgeon or military doctor, but the trauma from the past 5 years may mean I fail to perform the best in medical school (I also slightly lack some people skills because I am autistic). If you know what I mean? My mum even bought me a stethoscope and I feel so bad that I will never be able to use it.

I think me studying something like biomedical engineering or materials science and then specialising in biomaterials means I could have an equally meaningful and fulfilling career but also have a career that is probably less stressful, has a chance for me to start up my own business, and I could have a chance to save many more lives than if I were a doctor.

But like I’ve said, London life probably isn’t for me at the moment and I would’ve preferred if Imperial was in a smaller city with people that aren’t so antisocial 😭.

I am lost and confused at the minute.

(edited 2 months ago)