The Student Room Group

Am I stupid for getting upset about some guys joking about me?

So I met these two guys in the club staying here on holiday (well one I hooked up with who was with his mate) things were going well I was really getting along with the one guy and he was super respectful but the other one was a bit hostile. I’m quite an awkward person with social anxiety when I first meet people and my oddities were picked up on. I was invited over to their hotel again on another day and before I knocked on their door I heard them joking about me with another person there, I couldn’t fully hear what they said I just heard “but she’s nice though” at the end. I kinda brushed it off at first and went in anyways and we hung out, but the one friend and sometimes the other kept laughing after I said or did something that might have come off odd and it felt like I was getting clowned on. Idk if I was in the right to be upset or if I’m being too sensitive about this, especially because their sense of humour was egging on and joking on eachother so. It kinda hurt though because I was bullied a lot in school and it just felt like that again, and stung a little more so because initially we were all getting on and I thought I was at a point in my life where I could avoid this sort of thing and make genuine connections but I feel like I’m cursed/broken and I’m just repelling to some people.
Thought I replied but didn't save: you absolutely deserve respect and these guys are not respectful. They've obviously said something about you and you don't need that bad energy in your life.
Reply 2
Original post by RatRestaraunt
So I met these two guys in the club staying here on holiday (well one I hooked up with who was with his mate) things were going well I was really getting along with the one guy and he was super respectful but the other one was a bit hostile. I’m quite an awkward person with social anxiety when I first meet people and my oddities were picked up on. I was invited over to their hotel again on another day and before I knocked on their door I heard them joking about me with another person there, I couldn’t fully hear what they said I just heard “but she’s nice though” at the end. I kinda brushed it off at first and went in anyways and we hung out, but the one friend and sometimes the other kept laughing after I said or did something that might have come off odd and it felt like I was getting clowned on. Idk if I was in the right to be upset or if I’m being too sensitive about this, especially because their sense of humour was egging on and joking on eachother so. It kinda hurt though because I was bullied a lot in school and it just felt like that again, and stung a little more so because initially we were all getting on and I thought I was at a point in my life where I could avoid this sort of thing and make genuine connections but I feel like I’m cursed/broken and I’m just repelling to some people.

I'm like you a bit with social anxiety and I'd say, if they're making you uncomfortable and feeling as if you're being bullied, forget them. It's not stupid and, if people are making jokes about you and laughing at you, they're the ones in the wrong - those type of people aren't worth knowing.

The hostile one sounds nasty anyway. I hate people with that type of "humor" and, if they were talking behind your back, you're right to be annoyed.
Respectfully, 99% of guys go to clubs to pick up girls and satisfy their desires, and not to create a connection with you. Girls generally want a connection, and since there are guys at the club, they’ll go to the club not understanding this principle.

Every Sunday morning cities are filled with naive girls who go to clubs, are picked up, and then are kicked out the next morning. Heading home, they drag their feet along knowing they were just used, but their naiveté leads them in the same cycle the following week hoping that something different might occur on this occasion. When old age comes along, looking back, they are in perpetual agony at the memory of moments of depravity and waste.

If you want to live a happy and fulfilled life, I encourage you to walk the path of spiritual self-discovery, and on this journey to avoid clubs at all cost and look elsewhere. Remove the social circles which drag you into this pit, and find ones which will guide you into the right direction.
Reply 4
Original post by ediab77
Respectfully, 99% of guys go to clubs to pick up girls and satisfy their desires, and not to create a connection with you. Girls generally want a connection, and since there are guys at the club, they’ll go to the club not understanding this principle.
Every Sunday morning cities are filled with naive girls who go to clubs, are picked up, and then are kicked out the next morning. Heading home, they drag their feet along knowing they were just used, but their naiveté leads them in the same cycle the following week hoping that something different might occur on this occasion. When old age comes along, looking back, they are in perpetual agony at the memory of moments of depravity and waste.
If you want to live a happy and fulfilled life, I encourage you to walk the path of spiritual self-discovery, and on this journey to avoid clubs at all cost and look elsewhere. Remove the social circles which drag you into this pit, and find ones which will guide you into the right direction.

Actually it was quite the opposite, I was at the club just to dance and have fun and welcome a hookup if it comes to it and vibe with whoever, not anything deeper than that but I expect the bare minimum of respect and to end things on a good note. I wasn’t hurt because I was heartbroken lol just that I was picked on for my personality and it brought me back to school, like I thought I was finally worthy of peoples affection and respect.

The guy I hooked up with was weirdly overly into me like he desired me romantically and love bombing me which I thought was weird since we just met until the end and seemed insecure about any prospects of me possibly doing this with other guys every weekend like kept saying ‘oh I bet this is a regular occurrence for you’ and ‘ahh I bet guys come up to you all the time you’ve got boyfriends across the globe’ at first it seemed like light teasing but after it seemed that he wanted me but then got insecure that I might just play around. I think maybe that added to him eventually being berating and rude.
Reply 5
Original post by ediab77
Respectfully, 99% of guys go to clubs to pick up girls and satisfy their desires, and not to create a connection with you. Girls generally want a connection, and since there are guys at the club, they’ll go to the club not understanding this principle.
Every Sunday morning cities are filled with naive girls who go to clubs, are picked up, and then are kicked out the next morning. Heading home, they drag their feet along knowing they were just used, but their naiveté leads them in the same cycle the following week hoping that something different might occur on this occasion. When old age comes along, looking back, they are in perpetual agony at the memory of moments of depravity and waste.
If you want to live a happy and fulfilled life, I encourage you to walk the path of spiritual self-discovery, and on this journey to avoid clubs at all cost and look elsewhere. Remove the social circles which drag you into this pit, and find ones which will guide you into the right direction.

I’m sure the spiritual path and clubbing can still overlap, I enjoy dancing and vibing to the music and that’s spiritual in itself

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