Please I need advice on going to uni or not.

I really don’t know what to do. Clearing is tomorrow and I still can’t decide if I want to go to uni , I’m so torn and in a decision paralysis. Ive been thinking about it all summer but still can’t come to a decision. It’s really affecting my mental health , and both options are giving me anxiety. Uni scares me because I’m scared I’ll regret putting all the time and money into it if it’s not for me. But not going also scares me because I don’t want another year of doing nothing but go to work and come home, and if I take another year out I’ll be 20 and feel like I’ve missed on being young and going. Any advice would be great please. Here’s my pros/cons copied from my notes :

Reasons I want to go to uni :
- [ ] Make friends
- [ ] Routine/structure
- [ ] Working towards something
- [ ] New experiences
- [ ] Independence
- [ ] Societies
- [ ] Discounts
- [ ] Not sure what to do if I don’t

Reasons I don’t want to go to uni :
- [ ] Group projects/classroom settings = stress
- [ ] Being away from home (scary- not long to prepare) OR commute ( less likely to make friends + harder )
- [ ] In case I regret it
- [ ] Uni drinking culture + going to events constantly
- [ ] Expensive
- [ ] Don’t know what to do with my car

Reply 1

University of Sheffield Students

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I really don’t know what to do. Clearing is tomorrow and I still can’t decide if I want to go to uni , I’m so torn and in a decision paralysis. Ive been thinking about it all summer but still can’t come to a decision. It’s really affecting my mental health , and both options are giving me anxiety. Uni scares me because I’m scared I’ll regret putting all the time and money into it if it’s not for me. But not going also scares me because I don’t want another year of doing nothing but go to work and come home, and if I take another year out I’ll be 20 and feel like I’ve missed on being young and going. Any advice would be great please. Here’s my pros/cons copied from my notes :
Reasons I want to go to uni :
- [ ] Make friends
- [ ] Routine/structure
- [ ] Working towards something
- [ ] New experiences
- [ ] Independence
- [ ] Societies
- [ ] Discounts
- [ ] Not sure what to do if I don’t
Reasons I don’t want to go to uni :
- [ ] Group projects/classroom settings = stress
- [ ] Being away from home (scary- not long to prepare) OR commute ( less likely to make friends + harder )
- [ ] In case I regret it
- [ ] Uni drinking culture + going to events constantly
- [ ] Expensive
- [ ] Don’t know what to do with my car

Hey,

It sounds like you have really given both options some thought. From what you have said and what you have put on your list it seems that you do want to go to university, it is just that it is quite a scary and overwhelming prospect.
While decisions like this are big, the good thing is that you do not have to commit to the option forever. For example, if you go to University and try it for a few weeks or months, and then decide you do not like it, you can always leave and go back to your work or find a job instead. You will not be tied to this decision, it is okay to change your mind, lots of people do.
Similarly, if you decide you want to go to university, you can start by living in the student accommodation, and if you do not like it, you can then move back home or vice versa (although it may be a little trickier the other way round).
To address a few of the points on your cons list, there are lots of good support services available at university, which you can contact before you start or while you are there. They will be able to help you with the adjustment to university. While historically universities have had a big drinking culture, this is changing. There are many students who do not drink for various reasons, and there are plenty of ways to meet people through activities. A vast proportion of students will be introverted, and not everyone will want to go out. Most people tend to go out a lot in the first couple of weeks, but then quickly realise that they actually do not want to go out so much. You definitely won't be the only one if you prefer not to go to events like that or would rather spend a bit more time to yourself.
Whatever decision you make, just know that it will not determine everything and it is okay to change your mind at any point.
Evie (4th year medic at UoS)

Reply 2

StudentMinds Rep

Official Rep

Hi! I am sorry you are feeling so anxious about this decision. Going to university can be a very exciting time but it can also be very daunting. I'm from the UK's student mental health charity and we have a resource that may be of use to you in making this decision. Please feel free to visit our website and download the "know before you go" guide, it will hopefully be able to help you answer some of the questions you may have.
Also please remember that you do not have to go to university this year, make the decision that you feel is right for you and your wellbeing 🧡 - Louise

Reply 3

WrexhamUniReps

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I really don’t know what to do. Clearing is tomorrow and I still can’t decide if I want to go to uni , I’m so torn and in a decision paralysis. Ive been thinking about it all summer but still can’t come to a decision. It’s really affecting my mental health , and both options are giving me anxiety. Uni scares me because I’m scared I’ll regret putting all the time and money into it if it’s not for me. But not going also scares me because I don’t want another year of doing nothing but go to work and come home, and if I take another year out I’ll be 20 and feel like I’ve missed on being young and going. Any advice would be great please. Here’s my pros/cons copied from my notes :
Reasons I want to go to uni :
- [ ] Make friends
- [ ] Routine/structure
- [ ] Working towards something
- [ ] New experiences
- [ ] Independence
- [ ] Societies
- [ ] Discounts
- [ ] Not sure what to do if I don’t
Reasons I don’t want to go to uni :
- [ ] Group projects/classroom settings = stress
- [ ] Being away from home (scary- not long to prepare) OR commute ( less likely to make friends + harder )
- [ ] In case I regret it
- [ ] Uni drinking culture + going to events constantly
- [ ] Expensive
- [ ] Don’t know what to do with my car

Hi there 👋

It can be difficult to decide whether or not university is right for you - and many people have similar debates when they have completed their A-levels. Whilst clearing is tomorrow, it's important that you don't rush your decision - the last thing that you want to do is have regrets, and if you are still unsure tomorrow I would recommend taking a gap year. Going to university at the age of 20 is still young, many people choose to take a year or two out before committing to university, so you definitely wouldn't be alone!

In response to your cons - is there a specific university that you would like to go to if you decide to join a university? If so, have you reviewed what support services they have available, their accommodation structure, and what societies they have on offer? Whilst university is stereotypically known for just being all about drinking and parties, this couldn't be further from the truth. There are plenty of clubs and societies for you to get involved with that won't involve drinking and partying, and if there isn't a club/society that interests you, you can always set one up and find likeminded people that way. Regarding university being expensive - have you checked out the careers services offered by the university you're thinking about? They will be able to support you in finding a part-time job, internships and/or placements that you can get involved with to make money and boost your experience.

Remember, it's completely normal to feel uncertain about your choice and have doubts on whether university is right for you. However, if you've been thinking of university for a while and it would help you with your career goals then I think you should go for it! There will be many support services available for you to ensure that you have a great experience.

At the same time, if you are really unsure, take a year out to gain some more clarity - university will always be there to welcome you if and when you are ready, regardless of your age and position.

I hope you are able to come to some sort of conclusion soon, and that this helps a little.

Lauren
WrexhamUniReps

Reply 4

Chester Student

Original post

by Anonymous

I really don’t know what to do. Clearing is tomorrow and I still can’t decide if I want to go to uni , I’m so torn and in a decision paralysis. Ive been thinking about it all summer but still can’t come to a decision. It’s really affecting my mental health , and both options are giving me anxiety. Uni scares me because I’m scared I’ll regret putting all the time and money into it if it’s not for me. But not going also scares me because I don’t want another year of doing nothing but go to work and come home, and if I take another year out I’ll be 20 and feel like I’ve missed on being young and going. Any advice would be great please. Here’s my pros/cons copied from my notes :
Reasons I want to go to uni :
- [ ] Make friends
- [ ] Routine/structure
- [ ] Working towards something
- [ ] New experiences
- [ ] Independence
- [ ] Societies
- [ ] Discounts
- [ ] Not sure what to do if I don’t
Reasons I don’t want to go to uni :
- [ ] Group projects/classroom settings = stress
- [ ] Being away from home (scary- not long to prepare) OR commute ( less likely to make friends + harder )
- [ ] In case I regret it
- [ ] Uni drinking culture + going to events constantly
- [ ] Expensive
- [ ] Don’t know what to do with my car

Hi there,

Deciding on the next big step can be incredibly daunting, but it sounds like you have put a lot of thought into your options and what you'd like to get out of it.

I first want to remind you that going to university isn't a permanent decision. If you go, try it out for a while, and decide you don't like it - you can leave. It is perfectly okay to change your mind or decide you don't like it, and there is absolutely no shame in leaving and making the right choice for yourself. There are so many other options out there, such as apprenticeships and jobs, so do keep an open mind. On top of this, there is no shame in joining university a couple years out of A-Levels if that is what feels right for you. I made friends with so many people that were a few years older than me, and it was the right decision for them to make for themselves. Everyone is on a different path!

Each of your reasons to go are great aspects of university. I have personally had such a wonderful time, and it has opened many doors for me. But again, if you are still unsure, there are many other things you can look into (apprenticeships, work, gap year, internships, etc).

For the points on your reasons not to go, they are also valid and many people feel the same. However, the level of support you can and will receive at university is immense, and they can absolutely help you to work through some of these worries. Stress in the classroom and group settings is something you can speak to tutors about, and they are well-equipped to provide the right support and encouragement. The wellbeing and support team are also there for you if you feel homesick, which is something many students experience! They are there to talk through any worries or problems that may arise, provide support, encouragement, and resources, and will point you in the direction of others if they cannot help you themselves. What is your main concern with the drinking culture and events? I'm sure it differs between universities, but in my experience, I have never felt pressured to drink, go to bars or clubs, or attend events. You have the freedom to choose what you'd like to participate in, whether that is everything or nothing, and there will always be people doing the same!

Many people will be feeling the same at this point in the year. The thought of moving out, heading somewhere new, and going to university are all daunting, but it can be an incredible experience for you if that is what you decide. Remember that it is okay to be feeling this way, it can be stressful, and you are doing a great job at working through this!

I hope this helps and best of luck in your decision,

Isabella
Geography with a Year Abroad Student

Reply 5

University of Bradford

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I really don’t know what to do. Clearing is tomorrow and I still can’t decide if I want to go to uni , I’m so torn and in a decision paralysis. Ive been thinking about it all summer but still can’t come to a decision. It’s really affecting my mental health , and both options are giving me anxiety. Uni scares me because I’m scared I’ll regret putting all the time and money into it if it’s not for me. But not going also scares me because I don’t want another year of doing nothing but go to work and come home, and if I take another year out I’ll be 20 and feel like I’ve missed on being young and going. Any advice would be great please. Here’s my pros/cons copied from my notes :
Reasons I want to go to uni :
- [ ] Make friends
- [ ] Routine/structure
- [ ] Working towards something
- [ ] New experiences
- [ ] Independence
- [ ] Societies
- [ ] Discounts
- [ ] Not sure what to do if I don’t
Reasons I don’t want to go to uni :
- [ ] Group projects/classroom settings = stress
- [ ] Being away from home (scary- not long to prepare) OR commute ( less likely to make friends + harder )
- [ ] In case I regret it
- [ ] Uni drinking culture + going to events constantly
- [ ] Expensive
- [ ] Don’t know what to do with my car

Hey! I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing? How are you feeling about your results and have you made a decision on what you want to do?

It's totally normal to feel unsure about things, so many people are in the same boat. If you go to uni and regret it, then hey at least you've tried, and I think sometimes it's better to do something and regret it, then not do it at all and wonder what if I actually would have loved it..

You've raised a lot of great pros in your list, it's such a good place to have that routine and structure and meet new people! I was a very shy and anxious student, but I really loved my course, loved the opportunities it opened up and I also enjoyed the student discounts very much 😀 I was very scared of group projects and being in lectures but after a while you soon find your feet and become more comfortable with the new situation. I also commuted to university and knew a lot of people that did, and they didn't struggle at all to make friends, they were able to meet their friends for life on their course, they got invited out by friends, they were still able to attend freshers events and have a good time, so don't let the thought of commuting put you off too much! If you do decide to go to university, and you do want to live in student accommodation, then I know it can feel really scary, but again it's something that just takes time to feel comfortable in. I'm sure your uni would hold lots of events to meet new people, you might meet some great friends in your flat, immersing yourself in student life would help with the homesickness!

A lot of the freshers events at my uni didn't relate to drinking, so don't worry, there'll be plenty of non-drinking events. When I was a student there were events like movie screenings, tea parties, clothes fairs, countryside walks etc. There'll be something for everyone 🙂

If you do decide to take a year out, you could look into some volunteering opportunities, find work, do some courses. It doesn't matter what age you go to uni at, there'll be people of all ages at your uni, there's no right time to go!

Wishing you the best of luck for your future, whatever that may hold! I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you.

Becky

#FindYourFuture

Reply 6

LancashireRep1

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I really don’t know what to do. Clearing is tomorrow and I still can’t decide if I want to go to uni , I’m so torn and in a decision paralysis. Ive been thinking about it all summer but still can’t come to a decision. It’s really affecting my mental health , and both options are giving me anxiety. Uni scares me because I’m scared I’ll regret putting all the time and money into it if it’s not for me. But not going also scares me because I don’t want another year of doing nothing but go to work and come home, and if I take another year out I’ll be 20 and feel like I’ve missed on being young and going. Any advice would be great please. Here’s my pros/cons copied from my notes :
Reasons I want to go to uni :
- [ ] Make friends
- [ ] Routine/structure
- [ ] Working towards something
- [ ] New experiences
- [ ] Independence
- [ ] Societies
- [ ] Discounts
- [ ] Not sure what to do if I don’t
Reasons I don’t want to go to uni :
- [ ] Group projects/classroom settings = stress
- [ ] Being away from home (scary- not long to prepare) OR commute ( less likely to make friends + harder )
- [ ] In case I regret it
- [ ] Uni drinking culture + going to events constantly
- [ ] Expensive
- [ ] Don’t know what to do with my car

Hey!

It sounds like you've definitely thought about this thoroughly ! I would suggest If there are any universities near by that you want to go to, see if they have an open day coming up (for example we have one on Sunday 18th August) and this way you can pop down and meet tutors and current students and get a vibe for the university!

I also wouldn't rush into anything! Now you've got the qualifications there's no hard in taking a year out and reapplying for next year!

I hope this advice helps !

-Rebecca, UCLan