Feeling insecure around pretty/prettier girls

Hey guys I thought I’d come on here to gather some feedback and address this as I’m starting uni in September. For ages I’ve always felt inferior to pretty girls, I was a fairly ugly child and accepted that until I was about 17 years old when I suddenly had a massive glow up (lost lots of weight due to depression and nicotine). As a young girl I made peace with the fact that I wasn’t attractive and instead focused more on books and developing a personality which I’m grateful for now. However, ever since I started getting more attention (male and female) I realise I’ve become so vain and insecure that whenever I see a girl who’s more attractive than me i suddenly feel worthless. I hate this part of myself, it’s so exhausting comparing myself to other girls and constantly analysing my features and their own. My mother often compared me to my sister growing up who has always been very slim and as a result I’ve developed a poor body image. The boys I’ve liked have always gotten with pretty girls either prior to me or whilst I was seeing them and It still affects me to this day. I don’t have many female friends and sometimes I feel as if though I purposefully make friends with girls who aren’t extremely beautiful to make myself feel better. I have deep trust issues when it comes to building female friendships as I’ve been hurt by girls in the past (those around me have said it was jealousy though I find this hard to believe). I know it sounds awful and shallow and a persons appearance should never mean that much in the grand scheme of things but I can’t help feeling so down about this. I desperately want to make friends with other girls at uni regardless of how pretty they are and I really want to change this part of myself. The worst part is I consider myself a devout feminist and although I know a woman’s looks aren’t everything I have trouble believing this.
Please could someone shed light on the situation and offer some tips/advice on how to overcome this insecurity?
Really sorry about how long this was guys

Hey guys I thought I’d come on here to gather some feedback and address this as I’m starting uni in September. For ages I’ve always felt inferior to pretty girls, I was a fairly ugly child and accepted that until I was about 17 years old when I suddenly had a massive glow up (lost lots of weight due to depression and nicotine). As a young girl I made peace with the fact that I wasn’t attractive and instead focused more on books and developing a personality which I’m grateful for now. However, ever since I started getting more attention (male and female) I realise I’ve become so vain and insecure that whenever I see a girl who’s more attractive than me i suddenly feel worthless. I hate this part of myself, it’s so exhausting comparing myself to other girls and constantly analysing my features and their own. My mother often compared me to my sister growing up who has always been very slim and as a result I’ve developed a poor body image. The boys I’ve liked have always gotten with pretty girls either prior to me or whilst I was seeing them and It still affects me to this day. I don’t have many female friends and sometimes I feel as if though I purposefully make friends with girls who aren’t extremely beautiful to make myself feel better. I have deep trust issues when it comes to building female friendships as I’ve been hurt by girls in the past (those around me have said it was jealousy though I find this hard to believe). I know it sounds awful and shallow and a persons appearance should never mean that much in the grand scheme of things but I can’t help feeling so down about this. I desperately want to make friends with other girls at uni regardless of how pretty they are and I really want to change this part of myself. The worst part is I consider myself a devout feminist and although I know a woman’s looks aren’t everything I have trouble believing this.
Please could someone shed light on the situation and offer some tips/advice on how to overcome this insecurity?
Really sorry about how long this was guys