Got into Oxford despite missing a grade. I feel like I don't deserve to be there

So I majorly screwed up my a levels. My offer was AAA and I got AAB. Didn't really see this coming. However Oxford still gave me my place. It just feels like I really don't deserve it- my best friend got all A* and got rejected pre- interview. So many people with better grades than me didn't make it. I'm just worried I'll get there and I'm going to be dumb compared to everyone else there. I also worry I only got it because of extenuating circumstances - I basically spent my a levels as a carer/on su*cide watch for a sick (mentally and physically) relative my parents didnt want to take care of. Like if I just got in because of my sob story how am I going to cope with keeping up with everyone else there? Anyone who got in without the grades, how did you cope once you started uni?

Reply 1

sk.03

13

Original post by Anonymous

So I majorly screwed up my a levels. My offer was AAA and I got AAB. Didn't really see this coming. However Oxford still gave me my place. It just feels like I really don't deserve it- my best friend got all A* and got rejected pre- interview. So many people with better grades than me didn't make it. I'm just worried I'll get there and I'm going to be dumb compared to everyone else there. I also worry I only got it because of extenuating circumstances - I basically spent my a levels as a carer/on su*cide watch for a sick (mentally and physically) relative my parents didnt want to take care of. Like if I just got in because of my sob story how am I going to cope with keeping up with everyone else there? Anyone who got in without the grades, how did you cope once you started uni?

Firstly congrats, those are amazing results, you didn’t majorly screw anything up!

I can totally relate to the imposter syndrome aspect, but love you more than deserve to be there. May I remind you it’s University of Oxford, aka one of the best universities in the world! If they wanted to reject you/didn’t feel you met their standards, they 150% would have. With your circumstances, I understand you’re probably thinking a million things at once, but again remember there are so many reasons they could have accepted you- although a lot does boil down to grades, with oxbridge they take a whole lot into consideration so don’t beat yourself up! You evidently had an incredible personal statement and interview performance etc and again, if they wanted to reject you they 100% would have.

You deserve to be there undoubtedly, and you’re going to have the most amazing time :smile:

)

Reply 2

mnot

Universities Forum Helper

20

Original post by Anonymous

So I majorly screwed up my a levels. My offer was AAA and I got AAB. Didn't really see this coming. However Oxford still gave me my place. It just feels like I really don't deserve it- my best friend got all A* and got rejected pre- interview. So many people with better grades than me didn't make it. I'm just worried I'll get there and I'm going to be dumb compared to everyone else there. I also worry I only got it because of extenuating circumstances - I basically spent my a levels as a carer/on su*cide watch for a sick (mentally and physically) relative my parents didnt want to take care of. Like if I just got in because of my sob story how am I going to cope with keeping up with everyone else there? Anyone who got in without the grades, how did you cope once you started uni?

Oxford decided they wanted you as a member of their community, that’s all that matters,

By the sounds of it you have had a very challenging tough few years balancing both academics with other life challenges, TBH this if anything is actually very good preparation for university, university education is different to school, its far more independent & the onus is on students to manage their academics, career opportunities (i,e, applying for internships/networking), social life, societies. so having already had to where different hats & manage multiple challenges I think you’ll find you are better suited.

academic success is far more about who is motivated & passionate for their subject, in fact the data shows that of students who are accepted their is often a very low correlation between A-level performance in a peer group & how students perform at university.

you might not recognize it, but Oxford has the most rigorous selection process in the country, it’s not a gift or sympathy place.. they have seen something in you & believe you can thrive there. Go & enjoy yourself, nerves & anxiety are perfectly normal - just a part of taking a step in life like this.

Reply 3

The_Lonely_Goatherd

20

Original post by Anonymous

So I majorly screwed up my a levels. My offer was AAA and I got AAB. Didn't really see this coming. However Oxford still gave me my place. It just feels like I really don't deserve it- my best friend got all A* and got rejected pre- interview. So many people with better grades than me didn't make it. I'm just worried I'll get there and I'm going to be dumb compared to everyone else there. I also worry I only got it because of extenuating circumstances - I basically spent my a levels as a carer/on su*cide watch for a sick (mentally and physically) relative my parents didnt want to take care of. Like if I just got in because of my sob story how am I going to cope with keeping up with everyone else there? Anyone who got in without the grades, how did you cope once you started uni?

Hello! I'm so glad I'm awake and just happened to see this thread pop up in the widget.

I can really relate to how you might be feeling right now. I was let in without the right grades (also got AAB when the offer was AAA. Though these were the days before A* grades; the equivalent grades now would be a bit higher but still with a B) in summer 2007 for music. I was really shocked to be given my place, despite missing the grades, and that my Oxford Uni bursary of £10K was still intact (had I firmed Manchester Uni rather than Oxford, that B would have cost me my £10K bursary there!).

Please don't do what I did at Oxford, i.e. don't spend your first year - or indeed any year of your course! - being insecure or ashamed of your A Level grades, or thinking you don't 'deserve' your place. You didn't get in 'anyway' because you had a "sob story" application. (Oxford doesn't deal in sob stories.) You were offered a place because they saw your potential and felt you were a very strong applicant - and, as it turns out, you were so strong an applicant that they decided your B was irrelevant. Though I'm not sure what subject your offer is for, Oxford has a lot of information about you other than your grades, including your interview performance. They had plenty to go on, and they decided they wanted YOU!

Try and trust in the process, hard though that may be. If you need to, ask your tutors why they let you in without the grades. I wish I had asked my tutor that a lot sooner, in all honesty: it really would have nipped all my insecurities in the bud!

I had a bumpy first year at Oxford: not because I wasn't clever enough for the course, but because there were hardly any optional modules and the first year course modules just weren't playing to my strengths. I felt like it was 'proof' that I shouldn't have got my place there. I had a bit of a breakdown on my college tutor at the very end of first year and told him I didn't know why I was there, and that I shouldn't be there because I'd missed my grades. He was so upset and aghast that I'd spent a whole academic year thinking like that. He didn't even seem to know/remember that I'd missed my grades (which was a serious :facepalm:

moment for me, because I'd spent the whole year trying in vain to 'impress' him, to show him he'd made the 'right' decision in taking me 'anyway'!) and told me how I'm highly intelligent and that's why I was there.

Once I got used to the Oxford workload and was able to tailor the course to my interests a bit more, I really began to fly and do a lot better. It helped that I'd had that validation from my tutor too. Some modules, I actually scored higher than my tutorial partners (having spent the first year trailing behind them wildly!) in my Finals :smug:

Don't let anyone talk down to or badmouth you because of your grades - yourself included. Feel free to PM me or ask me questions about what I've written if that would help.

(Also, I was telling my PhD supervisor this story about my missing my grades for Oxford the other day. Turned out he missed his grades for Oxford too - and he's a high flyer in his academic field! So clearly it happens to all the best people :yep:

)

I'll write more tomorrow, when more awake. Please be kind to yourself, and don't view yourself as a sob story :hugs:

Reply 4

eeeli

13

Original post by Anonymous

So I majorly screwed up my a levels. My offer was AAA and I got AAB. Didn't really see this coming. However Oxford still gave me my place. It just feels like I really don't deserve it- my best friend got all A* and got rejected pre- interview. So many people with better grades than me didn't make it. I'm just worried I'll get there and I'm going to be dumb compared to everyone else there. I also worry I only got it because of extenuating circumstances - I basically spent my a levels as a carer/on su*cide watch for a sick (mentally and physically) relative my parents didnt want to take care of. Like if I just got in because of my sob story how am I going to cope with keeping up with everyone else there? Anyone who got in without the grades, how did you cope once you started uni?

i was in sort of a similar position in 2020 when i got rejected based on my algorithm adjusted grades then they had to let me back in when the government reverted to teacher grades. so i did have the grades in the end but nevertheless lost all my confidence and felt completely undeserving of being there and for all of first year i was just kind of terrified they’d change their minds again and kick me out!
i honestly think what helped the most was just working hard and seeing results, i think feeling like an imposter can make you want to avoid work but you just have to push through it. it takes a while because starting at oxford is a huge learning curve but once you get the hang of it if you work hard and engage with the teaching and reading you’ll be fine.
you didn’t just get in because of a sob story that’s not how extenuating circumstances work - it’s just recognition that you weren’t doing A-levels in an ideal environment (and the idea is i suppose once you move away to uni you’ll be in a much better place to be able to engage with your studies on a level playing field to people who did not face personal/educational disruption).
and oxford admissions aren’t so much about grades, obviously having the necessary predicted grades gets your foot in the door but their admissions process means they know a lot about you past that and there are other things they look for. they’re looking for people who will get on well in the oxford learning environment too and that might not always be the ones with top top grades (what it takes to score highly in an a level vs do well at uni are often quite different skills imo!)
as hard as it is, try not to get in your own head so much, you should be proud of what you have achieved in difficult circumstances and you got into Oxford! start looking to the future and think about all the positives that will come with moving to uni to study something that really interests you rather than dwelling on these a level grades which will quickly become meaningless (once you have an Oxford degree nobody will care about your a levels!)

Reply 5

Ghostlady

21

Original post by Anonymous

So I majorly screwed up my a levels. My offer was AAA and I got AAB. Didn't really see this coming. However Oxford still gave me my place. It just feels like I really don't deserve it- my best friend got all A* and got rejected pre- interview. So many people with better grades than me didn't make it. I'm just worried I'll get there and I'm going to be dumb compared to everyone else there. I also worry I only got it because of extenuating circumstances - I basically spent my a levels as a carer/on su*cide watch for a sick (mentally and physically) relative my parents didnt want to take care of. Like if I just got in because of my sob story how am I going to cope with keeping up with everyone else there? Anyone who got in without the grades, how did you cope once you started uni?

You do deserve that place and oxford obviously saw potential in you to honour your grades. So your have done very well. You didnt 'majorly' screw up. its one grade, so your all good 🙂
And you are not dumb either, you got in to uni 🙂 And its totally normal to have imposter syndrome. Especially if you are finding something tough. You are going to find tasks with are not a total breeze, and some you will find will come so naturally too. Just make sure you ask for help when you need it.

As for your best friend, my daughter she got rejected post interview at Oxford (she fluffed one of the interview questions). Got A*A*A*A and she ended up at at uni which she adored (she graduated this year). Your friend, where ever they will be will have a great time at their uni. Congratulations on getting into Oxford 🙂

Reply 6

thegeek888

18

Original post by Anonymous

So I majorly screwed up my a levels. My offer was AAA and I got AAB. Didn't really see this coming. However Oxford still gave me my place. It just feels like I really don't deserve it- my best friend got all A* and got rejected pre- interview. So many people with better grades than me didn't make it. I'm just worried I'll get there and I'm going to be dumb compared to everyone else there. I also worry I only got it because of extenuating circumstances - I basically spent my a levels as a carer/on su*cide watch for a sick (mentally and physically) relative my parents didnt want to take care of. Like if I just got in because of my sob story how am I going to cope with keeping up with everyone else there? Anyone who got in without the grades, how did you cope once you started uni?

Which degree course did you get accepted for? 😧

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by thegeek888

Which degree course did you get accepted for? 😧

PPE

Original post by Anonymous

So I majorly screwed up my a levels. My offer was AAA and I got AAB. Didn't really see this coming. However Oxford still gave me my place. It just feels like I really don't deserve it- my best friend got all A* and got rejected pre- interview. So many people with better grades than me didn't make it. I'm just worried I'll get there and I'm going to be dumb compared to everyone else there. I also worry I only got it because of extenuating circumstances - I basically spent my a levels as a carer/on su*cide watch for a sick (mentally and physically) relative my parents didnt want to take care of. Like if I just got in because of my sob story how am I going to cope with keeping up with everyone else there? Anyone who got in without the grades, how did you cope once you started uni?

"Deserving" is the wrong word really, what gets you in is the academics making a decision about your academic potential. The grades are just one, externally visible part of that. You can be very sure, that a lot of careful thought was given to the potential you displayed on paper, but especially at interview, and about the fairness of starting you on such an intensive course with the B. You can rely on the fact that you impressed them a great deal in the application process, and they are confident to will thrive. You got in despite the EC situation, not because of it - you are that good!

Reply 9

Wolffie17

3

Oxford don't do 'pity places'. Remember they used to give 2E offers routinely because they were so confident in their ability to select good candidates through their own application process. They've seen potential in you and they want you despite the missed grade - in a way that should actually make you feel more confident! Good luck and I hope you embrace everything it has to offer. I've not been to the uni but I used to live in Oxford and it's an absolutely fab place.

Reply 10

too much time

2

common saying regards oxford: "not everyone who deserves to go to Oxford get in, but everyone who gets in deserves to go!"
You deserve to go to Oxford, they wouldnt have accepted you if you werent of the standard.....now enjoy it.😊

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Could I ask which college offered you the place?

Got into Oxford despite missing a grade. I feel like I don't deserve to be there

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