how ugly do you have to be for your own parents to say you are fugly?

i have been told i am ugly since I can remember , I don't know why but the most vivid one is when I were 8 , I were already told to be ugly so I started using minimal makeup like eyeliner. my dad yelled at me and said no makeup can fix your ugly face , that scarred my tender young heart.

since then I have never been bare-faced...

then another day my mum were on call with my family member and she said only education is a hope from my daughter , there is no point in focusing on beauty cause she ( me ) is already ugly as ****.

my parents constantly compare me to other girls my age ( family friend's daughters) and say look how gorgeous she is , look how pale her complexion is..

what did i ever do , it still haunts me and i will NEVER consider myself beautiful

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

If you keep your body in reasonable trim then I and many men would consider you beautiful enough to be highly motivated to want to make love with you. Regardless of your facial bone structure and complexion.

And then there's inner beauty. Which you can enhance a small, but significant bit by accepting your looks and proceeding with your life with positivity and enthusiasm. With you accepting that you may not have the most traditionally beautiful face but you do have a beautiful body and personality as well as a collection of other positive features, such as ability to earn money. And therefore any man that gets involved with you will have gotten the joint best girlfriend / wife in the world.

Also, bear in mind that people say all sorts of cruel things in the heat of the moment. Many of which aren't true, or are exaggerations.

And that beauty comes in many forms.

Focus on the positives, not the negatives.
Never talk yourself down.

I cannot agree with the overly negative and critical mindset of your parents. It's like they want you to become a timid adult lacking in self confidence. Which I think is evil. Because they should be aiming for you to become a fully functioning, independent, well adjusted adult.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

i have been told i am ugly since I can remember , I don't know why but the most vivid one is when I were 8 , I were already told to be ugly so I started using minimal makeup like eyeliner. my dad yelled at me and said no makeup can fix your ugly face , that scarred my tender young heart.
since then I have never been bare-faced...
then another day my mum were on call with my family member and she said only education is a hope from my daughter , there is no point in focusing on beauty cause she ( me ) is already ugly as ****.
my parents constantly compare me to other girls my age ( family friend's daughters) and say look how gorgeous she is , look how pale her complexion is..
what did i ever do , it still haunts me and i will NEVER consider myself beautiful

Hmm, I would hope he was having a very bad day ,because if not he is not a nice person. I am sure you are not ugly, and it reminds me anyway of a saying that I am going to say to someone else, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" In other words, the person who sees you will see beauty where you might not see the beauty yourself. And I know that is true.

Reply 3

Phys_70

**** your parents. Seriously. They are horrible and you don't need them in life.

Reply 4

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

This is child abuse, by the way.

Reply 5

elareare

Original post by Anonymous

i have been told i am ugly since I can remember , I don't know why but the most vivid one is when I were 8 , I were already told to be ugly so I started using minimal makeup like eyeliner. my dad yelled at me and said no makeup can fix your ugly face , that scarred my tender young heart.
since then I have never been bare-faced...
then another day my mum were on call with my family member and she said only education is a hope from my daughter , there is no point in focusing on beauty cause she ( me ) is already ugly as ****.
my parents constantly compare me to other girls my age ( family friend's daughters) and say look how gorgeous she is , look how pale her complexion is..
what did i ever do , it still haunts me and i will NEVER consider myself beautiful

it sounds like your parents have serious issues and are bringing it out on you.
i'm not sure how old you are, but you should completely disregard your parents' opinion.
i'm sure you're not as 'ugly' as they say, and if the standard of beauty is 'fair complexion', then it is already ridiculously skewed (not to mention, stupid.)

and also note that relatives will say the most terrible things- and these things will be actual lies. (my grandfather once said my little sister was overweight. she was about 5' at the time and very petite. it was a lie, i'm not sure why he said that.)

just keep healthy, take care of your skin and body, and love yourself for who you are- and i'm pretty sure beauty is 99% self confidence and smiles. my 'massive glowup' was simply less ugly clothes and more self-acceptance. find some clothing you feel confident in, take care of your hair- if you can afford it, get it cut and styled- and be truly yourself. immerse yourself in education, your hobbies and people who value you for who you truly are. try your best to be happy, enjoy yourself and your life- (think of your life as a tv show- you decide what the next episode will be!) and not to think of yourself negatively, because you don't deserve those horrible words.
i'm wishing you all the best xx

Reply 6

chubble1268

Original post by Anonymous

i have been told i am ugly since I can remember , I don't know why but the most vivid one is when I were 8 , I were already told to be ugly so I started using minimal makeup like eyeliner. my dad yelled at me and said no makeup can fix your ugly face , that scarred my tender young heart.
since then I have never been bare-faced...
then another day my mum were on call with my family member and she said only education is a hope from my daughter , there is no point in focusing on beauty cause she ( me ) is already ugly as ****.
my parents constantly compare me to other girls my age ( family friend's daughters) and say look how gorgeous she is , look how pale her complexion is..
what did i ever do , it still haunts me and i will NEVER consider myself beautiful

i seen the title of this post and genuinely thought it was a joke. if you feel "ugly" then that's one thing but to have your own flesh and blood say this is another thing entirely. your parents must be insecure about themselves or their marriage. peoples children do look exactly like either both or one parent so this baffles me. it could be due to jealousy, or perhaps infidelity. or they are just horrible people altogether. just try and work on yourself distance yourself from your parents dont give into any manipulation and gaslighting. go to therapy if need be contact a professional for help as this can seriously affect an indivduals mental and physical health.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by chubble1268

it could be because some people are born to not fit the beauty standards and in my parents eyes , I am ugly.
and I cant change it and no this wasn't a joke , I wish it were.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by elareare

it sounds like your parents have serious issues and are bringing it out on you.
i'm not sure how old you are, but you should completely disregard your parents' opinion.
i'm sure you're not as 'ugly' as they say, and if the standard of beauty is 'fair complexion', then it is already ridiculously skewed (not to mention, stupid.)
and also note that relatives will say the most terrible things- and these things will be actual lies. (my grandfather once said my little sister was overweight. she was about 5' at the time and very petite. it was a lie, i'm not sure why he said that.)
just keep healthy, take care of your skin and body, and love yourself for who you are- and i'm pretty sure beauty is 99% self confidence and smiles. my 'massive glowup' was simply less ugly clothes and more self-acceptance. find some clothing you feel confident in, take care of your hair- if you can afford it, get it cut and styled- and be truly yourself. immerse yourself in education, your hobbies and people who value you for who you truly are. try your best to be happy, enjoy yourself and your life- (think of your life as a tv show- you decide what the next episode will be!) and not to think of yourself negatively, because you don't deserve those horrible words.
i'm wishing you all the best xx

I take care of myself very well , in good shape and hygenic , wear makeup and carry myself very well , I don't get why they do this , when I actually think I look good , they say smth and ruin my day and it just rings in my head all day,