The Student Room Group

how to not feel bad about my university journey

my uni experience has been severely impacted by poor mental health, I've changed and left a few times

uni 1: 1 year and a month then took a year out

uni 2: started a new course, did 2 years but failed the last semester by not handing work in


its been 4 years since i first started uni and now im about to leave again. im under immense pressure from a parent to complete a degree - i was considering switching to a part time degree at a local uni (same subject, transferring to the 2nd year) but this would take me 4 more years possibly, which is really painful to think about. i didnt consider a full time degree because i have run out of sfe funding (and because i might find it difficult to keep up with the workload).

i also considered open uni but this was very much disliked by my parent, and not having a maintenance loan would be a struggle as job searching is also not going well for me.

i dont know what to do and im really disheartened by how long ive been in the process with pretty much nothing to show for it. i would've liked to do a degree apprenticeship or something but i only started looking a couple of months ago, and could not see any that seemed enjoyable.

does anyone have any advice? i dont want to start another part time degree and become so depressed i leave again.
Hi Anonymous #1,

I’m really sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you. It sounds like you've been carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders, both from your mental health challenges and the expectations placed on you. It’s understandable that you feel disheartened after so many starts and stops—this isn’t the journey you envisioned, and the pressure to "just finish" is crushing, especially when you’re dealing with mental health struggles on top of everything else.

It’s clear that you want to make a decision that’s right for you, but it’s tough when the options all seem to carry their own kind of burden. I think it’s important to acknowledge that you’ve shown a lot of resilience by continuing to try, even when things haven’t gone as planned. That speaks to your strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Switching to a part-time degree sounds like a possible path forward, but it’s understandable that the idea of four more years feels overwhelming, especially considering how your mental health has been affected by past experiences. It’s okay to feel conflicted about this—your well-being should be a priority, and stretching out the timeline doesn’t guarantee that the process will be easier or more fulfilling for you.

Regarding your parent’s pressure, it’s really hard when someone close to you has strong expectations, especially when they conflict with your own feelings. It might help to have an honest conversation with them about what you’re going through. They might not fully understand your mental health struggles, but giving them a clearer picture might help them see why this decision is so heavy for you.

If a part-time degree or open university feels like it might be more of the same struggle, maybe it’s worth stepping back and considering other routes that could be less traditional but more in tune with where you’re at right now. Degree apprenticeships might not have panned out yet, but it doesn’t mean that door is closed.

Ultimately, there’s no one right answer here, and it’s okay if the path you choose doesn’t look like what others expect. If taking more time, even if it feels frustratingly slow, allows you to approach things at your own pace without the risk of burnout or worsening your mental health, that’s valid. You’re allowed to put yourself first.

You might want to reach out to your current uni and their well-being services to see if they can help support you.

Whatever you decide, please be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to have all the answers right now, and whatever step you take next, know that it doesn’t have to define your entire future.

Best, Sophie, University of Exeter Student Ambassador.
(edited 6 months ago)
Reply 2
Original post by ExeterStudentRep
Hi Anonymous #1,
I’m really sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you. It sounds like you've been carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders, both from your mental health challenges and the expectations placed on you. It’s understandable that you feel disheartened after so many starts and stops—this isn’t the journey you envisioned, and the pressure to "just finish" is crushing, especially when you’re dealing with mental health struggles on top of everything else.
It’s clear that you want to make a decision that’s right for you, but it’s tough when the options all seem to carry their own kind of burden. I think it’s important to acknowledge that you’ve shown a lot of resilience by continuing to try, even when things haven’t gone as planned. That speaks to your strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
Switching to a part-time degree sounds like a possible path forward, but it’s understandable that the idea of four more years feels overwhelming, especially considering how your mental health has been affected by past experiences. It’s okay to feel conflicted about this—your well-being should be a priority, and stretching out the timeline doesn’t guarantee that the process will be easier or more fulfilling for you.
Regarding your parent’s pressure, it’s really hard when someone close to you has strong expectations, especially when they conflict with your own feelings. It might help to have an honest conversation with them about what you’re going through. They might not fully understand your mental health struggles, but giving them a clearer picture might help them see why this decision is so heavy for you.
If a part-time degree or open university feels like it might be more of the same struggle, maybe it’s worth stepping back and considering other routes that could be less traditional but more in tune with where you’re at right now. Degree apprenticeships might not have panned out yet, but it doesn’t mean that door is closed.
Ultimately, there’s no one right answer here, and it’s okay if the path you choose doesn’t look like what others expect. If taking more time, even if it feels frustratingly slow, allows you to approach things at your own pace without the risk of burnout or worsening your mental health, that’s valid. You’re allowed to put yourself first.
You might want to reach out to your current uni and their well-being services to see if they can help support you.
Whatever you decide, please be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to have all the answers right now, and whatever step you take next, know that it doesn’t have to define your entire future.
Best, Sophie, University of Exeter Student Ambassador.

Hi Sophie, thank you so much for your kind words 😊
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
my uni experience has been severely impacted by poor mental health, I've changed and left a few times
uni 1: 1 year and a month then took a year out
uni 2: started a new course, did 2 years but failed the last semester by not handing work in
its been 4 years since i first started uni and now im about to leave again. im under immense pressure from a parent to complete a degree - i was considering switching to a part time degree at a local uni (same subject, transferring to the 2nd year) but this would take me 4 more years possibly, which is really painful to think about. i didnt consider a full time degree because i have run out of sfe funding (and because i might find it difficult to keep up with the workload).
i also considered open uni but this was very much disliked by my parent, and not having a maintenance loan would be a struggle as job searching is also not going well for me.
i dont know what to do and im really disheartened by how long ive been in the process with pretty much nothing to show for it. i would've liked to do a degree apprenticeship or something but i only started looking a couple of months ago, and could not see any that seemed enjoyable.
does anyone have any advice? i dont want to start another part time degree and become so depressed i leave again.

My advice is stop trying to do a degree for the time being. Your past experience clearly shows that this isnt working for you, and repeating the same mistakes again and again seems very foolish. The pressure of appeasement is a tough cross to carry but you are the one now with a littany of failed degrees not your parent. This isnt helping either one of you.

You need to really ask yourself some serious questions, like why you havent been able to keep on top of workload when you havent had a job? Most fulltime students do both. What is different for you?

I am also interested in why you have struggled to get employment? Have you had support or advice around this?

Greg

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