What to do about my crush

I have a crush on this girl but I don't know what to do about it. It is my first proper crush and I have never been in a relationship before. I am 17. We have plenty in common, get on well, give each other lots of compliments, text regularly. It varies who starts the texting conversation, and sometimes she replsttaight away other times not for 24 hours or so. She has already come out and is openly queer, I haven't come out yet - I have been trying to drop subtle hints but I'm not sure if she's picked them up or not. I also can't tell if she already has a girlfriend or not.
At the start of the summer she invited me for a mid summer coffee catchup and I said that sounds great, but she hasn't brought it up since - is she waiting for me to set a date and time, also do you think this is meant as a date or as a friedns thing?
If I asked her out and she said no I am worried it would be awkward between us as we will have to sit next to each other everyday for a year and do paired work together. But I've thought it over and I do really like her.
What should I do?

Reply 1

Zuvo

Everything in life comes at a cost. When you want to find out how she feels, or deepen the rship in to something intimate, there'll always be risk. Try to accept that you'll handle any consequence in trying. Even if things go south and you sit beside her - if you're nice & mature people, you'll be able to talk, understand each other's position and awkwardness should be limited.

I would suggest the next time you have a fun conversation, bring up/ ask if she wants to do the coffee date again, (assuming yes), then suggest a date and time. Take the initiative. Making things happen needs initiative from someone. In general, don't be afraid of her judgments or reactions and be strong in your ideas, and what you like.

Maybe your hints can come across as you trying to make her feel comfortable - relate to her, but not enough to show her who you really are. Be bold in your compliments, and do it via text if it's eaiser before the date. I think you can try asking her how she's dealing with coming out, and how she feels about her sexuality, and penetrate her responses so that her wall comes down and she can open up to you. And in the context of a more deeper conversation, you can tell her you also want to come out, but feel comfortable telling her. And be very selective about where you're going and where you'll sit, so that you can talk privately comfortably, you're physically close to her, & it's not very loud. If things go well, ask her more directly how she feels about you, and go from there.

That's my mostly blind advice in your situation, good luck.

Reply 2

Lilacfern

Update: thankyou for your advice, but she posted a picture of her with her arm around another girl, so I casually asked her if thats her girlfriend - answer was yes 😭😩

Reply 3

username7249585

Original post by Lilacfern

Update: thankyou for your advice, but she posted a picture of her with her arm around another girl, so I casually asked her if thats her girlfriend - answer was yes 😭😩