Advise of what to say when breaking up with bf?
24yr old bf and me 23yr old been together 3yrs 6 months. A month ago we went on a break and I left our flat. I had a trip to Spain with my brain in which I decided I wanted to break up at this point. We have been so bad for so long, the break hasn't brought us together. His been happier and less stressed without me. Anyway, he made a fake account on Instagram and snap and posed messaging me while I was away. We hadn't been speaking at this point. He had messages me as himself n I had let him know we will speak in person. Anyway he called me a million times and texted but I didn't answer because I clocked quickly he was the fake account. I ended up saying we were over over text whixh is not what I wanted but he forced it.
Anyways we are speaking over the phone tonight and I need to explain that we need to end the tendency. I know from my dad he is panicking and desperate as he called mt dad about even tho they are not close! Anyways I'm not sure what his going to be like or what to say to him. I want to arrange to meet in person obviously but we are speaking Iver the phone first as our schedules won't allow an in person meet. Any advise on how to handle this?
Anyways we are speaking over the phone tonight and I need to explain that we need to end the tendency. I know from my dad he is panicking and desperate as he called mt dad about even tho they are not close! Anyways I'm not sure what his going to be like or what to say to him. I want to arrange to meet in person obviously but we are speaking Iver the phone first as our schedules won't allow an in person meet. Any advise on how to handle this?
Hey, this sounds like a difficult one but as ever you get through everything in the end and it passes.
I would say without the wisdom of actually having done this, but with the wisdom of life a bit that you just wrap it up neatly and are very clear to him and everyone involved it’s over and there are logistics to deal with quickly and efficiently.
Some people involve drama and complications in all they do mostly to do with their own insecurities and issues. It sounds like that here there might be a chance he will do that - but not to worry - perhaps for the face to face bring your dad or a friend for backup and avoid petty sqaubles. For the phone call again be clear and adult and don’t let him be desperate - no one should be that desperate - plenty of fish in sea - it either works or it doesn’t.
You need to be clear and directed with him as to what you want to do and move on my friend.
I wish you well and be clear headed in this as much as possible - you will get through it :🙂 Neo
I would say without the wisdom of actually having done this, but with the wisdom of life a bit that you just wrap it up neatly and are very clear to him and everyone involved it’s over and there are logistics to deal with quickly and efficiently.
Some people involve drama and complications in all they do mostly to do with their own insecurities and issues. It sounds like that here there might be a chance he will do that - but not to worry - perhaps for the face to face bring your dad or a friend for backup and avoid petty sqaubles. For the phone call again be clear and adult and don’t let him be desperate - no one should be that desperate - plenty of fish in sea - it either works or it doesn’t.
You need to be clear and directed with him as to what you want to do and move on my friend.
I wish you well and be clear headed in this as much as possible - you will get through it :🙂 Neo
Original post by NeoIan
Hey, this sounds like a difficult one but as ever you get through everything in the end and it passes.
I would say without the wisdom of actually having done this, but with the wisdom of life a bit that you just wrap it up neatly and are very clear to him and everyone involved it’s over and there are logistics to deal with quickly and efficiently.
Some people involve drama and complications in all they do mostly to do with their own insecurities and issues. It sounds like that here there might be a chance he will do that - but not to worry - perhaps for the face to face bring your dad or a friend for backup and avoid petty sqaubles. For the phone call again be clear and adult and don’t let him be desperate - no one should be that desperate - plenty of fish in sea - it either works or it doesn’t.
You need to be clear and directed with him as to what you want to do and move on my friend.
I wish you well and be clear headed in this as much as possible - you will get through it :🙂 Neo
I would say without the wisdom of actually having done this, but with the wisdom of life a bit that you just wrap it up neatly and are very clear to him and everyone involved it’s over and there are logistics to deal with quickly and efficiently.
Some people involve drama and complications in all they do mostly to do with their own insecurities and issues. It sounds like that here there might be a chance he will do that - but not to worry - perhaps for the face to face bring your dad or a friend for backup and avoid petty sqaubles. For the phone call again be clear and adult and don’t let him be desperate - no one should be that desperate - plenty of fish in sea - it either works or it doesn’t.
You need to be clear and directed with him as to what you want to do and move on my friend.
I wish you well and be clear headed in this as much as possible - you will get through it :🙂 Neo
Thank you. I have an UPDATE. Meant to have a phone conversation to say it's all over ect but the man turns up at my mother's house where im staying with no notice hoping I'd speak to him in person. Its a long train journey so never expected, he had flowers a perfume I've been wanting and cheesestringe (inside joke) and a dinner table booked if I'd be open. I was so shocked, anyway I went to the dinner because my family are nosey I have no privacy and I still had alot to say. I explained I was calling him to end it all... him showing in person did throw a spanner but I decided that whatever happens between us we need to end the tenancy as in I don't want to live with him.
I pointed out to him that his doing everything I've been asking for a year. Looking after himself, going gym, reaching out to his friends. Overall doing much better for himself, which I'm pointing our you didn't do until I left. He understands this and seemed accepting of ending the tenancy but is hoping I would date him and possibly rekindle us. I'm so confused now because I had it all set to end it all. But the main tie is living together which is why I want to stick to that or it'll just go back to old ways.
So I'm not sure if to sort out ending the tenancy and agree to see him on a dating basis. Or tell him to stop trying we are over. It's just annoying I'm seeing everything I wanted and his aware it looks like ots to just get me back which is why I'm also like still don't want to live with you.
You just need to end it completely. He's only reacting this way because he senses it's his last chance. There is a lot of very odd, and not pleasant behaviour just from what you've written. Don't get sucked in again. You've already expressed relief when you seperated before.
agreed with above helper to be honest. sounds desperate and a bit odd to be honest but you know him better than I?
Its so difficult honestly and i understand but you need to create space then make work from there, space is the key formost in this situation. Fell free to message me if you wish on this too happy to advise. 🙂
You sound very clear and communicate well, and deserve to be given that space !
Its so difficult honestly and i understand but you need to create space then make work from there, space is the key formost in this situation. Fell free to message me if you wish on this too happy to advise. 🙂
You sound very clear and communicate well, and deserve to be given that space !
Am I silly for wanting to see if he changes, he genuinely got diagnosed by the doctors with depression while on this break. I'm certain of ending the tenancy and cutting that tie. But I also wonder I'd the person I first got with is still there and this depression has been clouding it for so long. When we first met he brought me out of a dark place. I feel like ending the tenancy would give us the chance to grow individualy even if we did date so that if in the future we decide to go further we'd be the best versions and more financial stable. As we went straight from uni to a flat to struggling.
Nothing you’ve written makes me think you should have any involvement with him. The most recent stuff is love bombing and fake profiles. Not good.
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