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Hey !
um i struggle alot with making friends and/or keeping the friends i do make for a long long time. I feel like i can never really have any true friends coz im boring, never understand the latest trends, dont go ouside very often, dont have social media and i dont want to have social media (exempt from yt and pintrest and technically this if it counts), dont like chatting, kinda am ugly, weird and yk. Then i tell my self that i should forgo that quest and just study and develop myself. Im not saying thats a bad thing but i then feel bouts of depression after and i cry alot. What should i do?
do i just focus on my studies and be alone or do i idk try again?

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Socialising and doing extra curriculars are as important as your academics. You can easily manage both, you don’t have to be up to date with latest trends to keep a good friendship, you should not have a negative schema about yourself for example saying stuff like you’re boring etc. if you are starting college or want to have a new friend group js be relax and yourself, hopefully you will meet people who understand you. I hope my post does not sound like “You should do this, You’re thinking very wrong”
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Socialising and doing extra curriculars are as important as your academics. You can easily manage both, you don’t have to be up to date with latest trends to keep a good friendship, you should not have a negative schema about yourself for example saying stuff like you’re boring etc. if you are starting college or want to have a new friend group js be relax and yourself, hopefully you will meet people who understand you. I hope my post does not sound like “You should do this, You’re thinking very wrong”

ik extracurriculars are important but its just i **** it up at socialising. ive done alot of the extra stuff yk
im about to go to do a new term and i just dont know if ill open up. and dw your post is ok .
Original post by Anonymous
ik extracurriculars are important but its just i **** it up at socialising. ive done alot of the extra stuff yk
im about to go to do a new term and i just dont know if ill open up. and dw your post is ok .

If you're going to keep telling yourself that you're terrible at something you're going to just internalise that and believe it very strongly. Stop talking nonsense and feeling sorry for yourself just try to talk to other people everyone is a real person you'll find someone you get along with eventually. Just stop trying to hate yourself and realise what your doing and just be normal about it.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey !
um i struggle alot with making friends and/or keeping the friends i do make for a long long time. I feel like i can never really have any true friends coz im boring, never understand the latest trends, dont go ouside very often, dont have social media and i dont want to have social media (exempt from yt and pintrest and technically this if it counts), dont like chatting, kinda am ugly, weird and yk. Then i tell my self that i should forgo that quest and just study and develop myself. Im not saying thats a bad thing but i then feel bouts of depression after and i cry alot. What should i do?
do i just focus on my studies and be alone or do i idk try again?

Hi you definitely need to get out and meet people.
Reply 5
look i get what ure all saying and
1) thx for the reply always appreciate it 🙂 . will always try to follow suggestions ofc and thank u for putting your time in to replies. its really lovely to know that there are people out there who are kind enough to give me their time and audience so again , thank u <3
(sorry if this next part sounds rude)
2) its not that easy to just 'stop' telling myself i cant make friends and / or just try to talk to other people, u think i havent even done that several times and its just fallen flat on my face? ive changed schools 4-5 times from when i was 7- almost 17 and during those periods ive always talked and met new people, ive traveled on occasion to new contries and stayed there for years even in my native one but i just cant make and keep long lasting relationships; people lose intrest in me or i them and i just cant get attached. couple that with the fact that my parents were just additional factors to my own self hate and isolation, leading to depression and tones of anxiety, it just became harder and harder to do so , it was always grades before friends and hell they even took my device away when i had whatsapp (at around 13). Even the few groups of aquaintences i did make found me as weird, off putting, i remained silent in most convos even when i tried to understand but failed at that . one time when i moved to the uk at 13 i was bullied and isolated a whole lot , the isolation especially by the friends i did make so that added a whole nother layer of trying to please people or just not trusting them anymore or being afraid to open up. then this move to a new area just cut me off again from the one person i did have to be a friend and now i cant connect with anyone coz yk it was the end of secondary school and a-levels are just for 2 years and people will already be with friends they already had and im still trying to adjust
.
look what im trying to say, coz im bad at putting most of my thoughts into words and i feel like most of this is just me dumoing some of my life story on there that may or maynot be relevant whic i am so so so sorry for coz i just wanted to i guess give u an insight from where im coming from, is that this lack of friendships has been apart of most of my life for alomst 5 years now and even if i try nothing seems to work, thats all i was trying to say. and yes i hate my self to bare bones but im not trying to degrade myself or add in negativity when i feel its become factual.
do u get what im trying to say or no?
im not the best at this sorry
You wrote a huge paragraph to try to justify and convince yourself for a reason that you don't have friends. If you stopped being so obsessed with how "unlikable" you are or how your parents have ruined your social life, and try to stop getting in your own head and hate yourself, you might just stand a chance.

If you don't think you're an alright person, why would anyone else? This isn't just about making friends, you need a whole mindset change about who you are and what makes you a person of value.

Maybe school isn't the right place to make friends for you, maybe they are all too different and cliquey, it happens like that sometimes. If you go to university, or wherever you go after, you'll probably have a much better chance of finding like-minded people in the real world that you can be comfortable around. It won't happen if you live in a bubble of self degradation and can't imagine anyone liking you though. The more you think it the more it will be inevitable. Break free from mind, it will hold you back.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
You wrote a huge paragraph to try to justify and convince yourself for a reason that you don't have friends. If you stopped being so obsessed with how "unlikable" you are or how your parents have ruined your social life, and try to stop getting in your own head and hate yourself, you might just stand a chance.
If you don't think you're an alright person, why would anyone else? This isn't just about making friends, you need a whole mindset change about who you are and what makes you a person of value.
Maybe school isn't the right place to make friends for you, maybe they are all too different and cliquey, it happens like that sometimes. If you go to university, or wherever you go after, you'll probably have a much better chance of finding like-minded people in the real world that you can be comfortable around. It won't happen if you live in a bubble of self degradation and can't imagine anyone liking you though. The more you think it the more it will be inevitable. Break free from mind, it will hold you back.

thx for the reply, how do u think i can break from that bubble then?coz ure right , i shouldnt keep to that mentality but i dont know how to escape it
Original post by Anonymous
thx for the reply, how do u think i can break from that bubble then?coz ure right , i shouldnt keep to that mentality but i dont know how to escape it

That can be hard, but the first step is realising you need an attitude change, which is great. More information could help me understand your situation. What year are you in? Do you plan to go to university after?
Original post by Anonymous
Hey !
um i struggle alot with making friends and/or keeping the friends i do make for a long long time. I feel like i can never really have any true friends coz im boring, never understand the latest trends, dont go ouside very often, dont have social media and i dont want to have social media (exempt from yt and pintrest and technically this if it counts), dont like chatting, kinda am ugly, weird and yk. Then i tell my self that i should forgo that quest and just study and develop myself. Im not saying thats a bad thing but i then feel bouts of depression after and i cry alot. What should i do?
do i just focus on my studies and be alone or do i idk try again?

hi...im kinda in the exact same situation as you. :/ hmu if ud like to be friends and id love to talk further abt our shared experiences bcuz it sounds like we have a ton in common!
I'd also like to be your friend if you're up for that!!
Reply 11
Hi there! Sorry I’m so late to this but I’ll happily be anyone’s friend :smile:
I’m always there for people and I’ll always answer any questions you have! My name is charli and I’m 17, and If anyone is feeling lonely and needs anyone I will happily message you and give you any socials! Wishing you all the best!
Original post by Ascpea
Hi there! Sorry I’m so late to this but I’ll happily be anyone’s friend :smile:
I’m always there for people and I’ll always answer any questions you have! My name is charli and I’m 17, and If anyone is feeling lonely and needs anyone I will happily message you and give you any socials! Wishing you all the best!

hi charli ^^ yeah id love to be ur friend :smile:
Reply 13
Original post by PenguinWhale
hi charli ^^ yeah id love to be ur friend :smile:


Do you have any socials? :smile:
Original post by Ascpea
Do you have any socials? :smile:

yes! 🙂 what do u have?
Reply 15
Original post by PenguinWhale
yes! 🙂 what do u have?


Literally any of them! Up to you !!
Original post by Ascpea
Literally any of them! Up to you !!

thanks! what works best for u? i have pretty much everything 😇
Reply 17
Original post by PenguinWhale
thanks! what works best for u? i have pretty much everything 😇


Instagram?
Original post by Ascpea
Instagram?

Guys get a room wtf is this
Original post by Ascpea
Instagram?

do u have anything else? im so sorry 😭😭

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