Too old for friends ?

I understand that this is circumstantial but all answers welcomed.

I’m (28F) a mature student going to university of Portsmouth, Sep24, Undergrad.
I’m worried I won’t make friends due to the age gap. Add on, wanting to stop drinking, which will make it harder to socialise. I feel like people bond the first weeks, while ****ed on a night out..
I’m OK with postponing sober life for a few weeks if necessary lol, but preferably not if the norm is mad nights out.

I’m staying in Fountain Halls (Catered) in Portsmouth. Will it be really difficult making friends in halls as I’ll be quite a bit older? Doesn’t have to be FH specifically but would love to know what your experiences have been like with mature student living in halls?

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 1

EVMD17

Original post by Bjbggö

I understand that this is circumstantial but all answers welcomed.
I’m (28F) a mature student going to university of Portsmouth, Sep24, Undergrad.
I’m worried I won’t make friends due to the age gap. Add on, wanting to stop drinking, which will make it harder to socialise. I feel like people bond the first weeks, while ****ed on a night out..
I’m OK with postponing sober life for a few weeks if necessary lol, but preferably not if the norm is mad nights out.
I’m staying in Fountain Halls (Catered) in Portsmouth. Will it be really difficult making friends in halls as I’ll be quite a bit older? Doesn’t have to be FH specifically but would love to know what your experiences have been like with mature student living in halls?

Hey!

I’m starting this September and I’m 21. I’m also nervous about making friends as I also have been living sober for a while. I will be drinking for freshers week just to blend in tbh, I just won’t over do it like the 18 year olds haha

I had friends who weren’t big drinkers at uni and they managed to make friends who they went to dinner with instead of drinking/ clubbing. Not too sure about what it’s like as a mature student but I imagine it’s similar. You could try societies.

Have you found out who your coursemates or flatmates might be? There’s groups on Facebook or Instagram and once you find ppl you get added to group chats

Reply 2

YSJstudents

Official Rep

Original post by Bjbggö

I understand that this is circumstantial but all answers welcomed.
I’m (28F) a mature student going to university of Portsmouth, Sep24, Undergrad.
I’m worried I won’t make friends due to the age gap. Add on, wanting to stop drinking, which will make it harder to socialise. I feel like people bond the first weeks, while ****ed on a night out..
I’m OK with postponing sober life for a few weeks if necessary lol, but preferably not if the norm is mad nights out.
I’m staying in Fountain Halls (Catered) in Portsmouth. Will it be really difficult making friends in halls as I’ll be quite a bit older? Doesn’t have to be FH specifically but would love to know what your experiences have been like with mature student living in halls?

Hi,

I'm currently 23 and doing my masters at YSJ, while I'm unsure what it's like definitely like at Portsmouth, in regards to making friends and night life, I haven't had any issues making friends or socialising while at uni. Some of my friends whilst at uni have been older than me (25+) and they haven't had many issues either, especially in regards to sober activities and making friends. A lot of students at uni don't drink, and prefer to do more sober socials such as exploring the city, bowling , mini golf as opposed to a night out.

I have been the Club Captain for the YSJ mountaineering club this past year, and there was definitely a bigger demand for more sober socials. Within the club itself people were aged between 18 and 30, so I would definitely recommend joining a club or society at uni, if your looking to meet people who have similar interest as you.

More and more students are going to uni later, especially after covid and the cost of living crisis, so you might find that there is a lot more students who are over 21 and in first year. Have you checked to see if the uni, has mature student support team/group. I know sometimes they are quite good for meeting other mature students.

Good luck with your course!
Suzan - Student Ambassador

Reply 3

University of Portsmouth Student Rep

Original post by Bjbggö

I understand that this is circumstantial but all answers welcomed.
I’m (28F) a mature student going to university of Portsmouth, Sep24, Undergrad.
I’m worried I won’t make friends due to the age gap. Add on, wanting to stop drinking, which will make it harder to socialise. I feel like people bond the first weeks, while ****ed on a night out..
I’m OK with postponing sober life for a few weeks if necessary lol, but preferably not if the norm is mad nights out.
I’m staying in Fountain Halls (Catered) in Portsmouth. Will it be really difficult making friends in halls as I’ll be quite a bit older? Doesn’t have to be FH specifically but would love to know what your experiences have been like with mature student living in halls?

Hi I hope you are doing well,

First of all, it's great to here you are joining us in September, I hope you are excited and I'm sure you will have a fabulous time!

It's easy to think that the first few weeks of University as just being solely about drinking and whilst a lot of people do that, it isn't the only way to socialise and to meet new people. There are so many events that happen during September and throughout the year in Portsmouth and plenty of opportunities to get involved with them without drinking or going out. Joining societies or getting to know your course mates (You can often find people on group chats who are on the same course as you) before lessons start or when they begin.

When you are are at University, nobody really cares where you came from or your age etc. There is this worry of not fitting in or being seen as an outsider but everyone is in the same position as you are and everyone is wanting to meet people and make new friends so you don't need to worry about that. Speaking to people in your halls or at events the University host can be a great way to meet people.

I hope this helps and I hope you have a fabulous time when you start!

All the best,
Daniel
University of Portsmouth Student Rep

Reply 4

Medcalf

Original post by Bjbggö

I understand that this is circumstantial but all answers welcomed.
I’m (28F) a mature student going to university of Portsmouth, Sep24, Undergrad.
I’m worried I won’t make friends due to the age gap. Add on, wanting to stop drinking, which will make it harder to socialise. I feel like people bond the first weeks, while ****ed on a night out..
I’m OK with postponing sober life for a few weeks if necessary lol, but preferably not if the norm is mad nights out.
I’m staying in Fountain Halls (Catered) in Portsmouth. Will it be really difficult making friends in halls as I’ll be quite a bit older? Doesn’t have to be FH specifically but would love to know what your experiences have been like with mature student living in halls?

@EVMD17

Hello both, I am 19M going into my second year of University so our circumstances may be slightly different but I think what I am going to say is relevant regardless.

Your age is just a number, don't let it set you back. I didn't drink much at all during my first year whereas all my "friends" who were also first year students were regularly getting drunk. This is the first lesson, don't feel pressured into drinking or just drink to make friends, for me it massively backfired. All the people I thought were my close friends in year 1, by the start of the second semester we stopped talking, don't ask me why, I don't have a clue.

My friends at the University are all around 21 years old or older, and I have even more friends who are not from the university but the local community whose ages range from around 20 to 70 plus. The younger students at times seem to forget they are at university to study for a degree, don't make this mistake. Also, many universities have dedicated mature student areas so you can interact with others who may be of an older age.

Finally, don't get it firmly in your head that everyone makes friends in the first week. Yes there is some truth in this and depending on your subject there can be additional difficulties in making friends, for instance as a law student because law is so competitive its a competition between each other so unfortunately they are less willing to become friends now. But I made all my close friends outside welcome week, one of them actually on an ambassador shift after the last academic year ended, and one of my other friends has also told me that they too found all their close friends at the end of welcome week. You will find your people, just be patient as it might take a bit longer than you expect but the wait should be worth it.

If either of you do have any questions about anything University related or anything at all please don't hesitate to let me know, I would be delighted to help. Feel free at anytime to send me a friend request, we may have differences but different people's life experiences can be very valuable.

Reply 5

Kingston PG Reps

Official Rep

Original post by Bjbggö

I understand that this is circumstantial but all answers welcomed.
I’m (28F) a mature student going to university of Portsmouth, Sep24, Undergrad.
I’m worried I won’t make friends due to the age gap. Add on, wanting to stop drinking, which will make it harder to socialise. I feel like people bond the first weeks, while ****ed on a night out..
I’m OK with postponing sober life for a few weeks if necessary lol, but preferably not if the norm is mad nights out.
I’m staying in Fountain Halls (Catered) in Portsmouth. Will it be really difficult making friends in halls as I’ll be quite a bit older? Doesn’t have to be FH specifically but would love to know what your experiences have been like with mature student living in halls?

Hey @Bjbggö

I can understand your concern, i am 27F plus i am an international student. And i had same thoughts before joining university for my masters. But guess what, because it was a masters there were so many others of my age and even a few students older than me, which made a great cohort of experienced students, sharing their industry knowledge.
Also, most of the teaching methods involve activities forcing you to interact with your classmates, hence knowing more people and making more friends.

It can seem daunting at first, but it get's easier and happier i can say.

Ravina
(Kingston student Rep)

Reply 6

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Original post by Bjbggö

I understand that this is circumstantial but all answers welcomed.
I’m (28F) a mature student going to university of Portsmouth, Sep24, Undergrad.
I’m worried I won’t make friends due to the age gap. Add on, wanting to stop drinking, which will make it harder to socialise. I feel like people bond the first weeks, while ****ed on a night out..
I’m OK with postponing sober life for a few weeks if necessary lol, but preferably not if the norm is mad nights out.
I’m staying in Fountain Halls (Catered) in Portsmouth. Will it be really difficult making friends in halls as I’ll be quite a bit older? Doesn’t have to be FH specifically but would love to know what your experiences have been like with mature student living in halls?

Hi @Bjbggö ,

There will be lots of mature students on your course and at university in general so try not to worry about this too much!
On my course, there are lots of mature students and everybody is friendly with each other so I wouldn't say it has made much of a difference on my course. I was a couple of years older when I started uni too and I was worried but everyone is so friendly and it won't make much of a difference 🙂

You could have a look on Facebook to see if you can find some groups for your university. There will usually be a Facebook group chat for your uni and then there might be ones for your specific course too or your halls so you can find a few different people this way. You might make some friends before you go which might ease some of your worries! I found quite a few people on Facebook before I got to uni which was nice as I wasn't as worried when I was moving in as I already knew some people. There might be a group for mature students too and you might find some people this way too!

I would agree with what has been posted here that societies are a great way of meeting people and making new friends. You can find so many different societies for different things - sports and other hobbies so have a look at this as they are great. They are also great ways of meeting people that aren't just drinking as even though they have socials, the actual meetings of the society will usually be sober.

I would also say that lots of people go to uni and don't drink so try not to worry too much about this as there are so many other ways of making friends that don't involve drinking and going out!

I hope some of this helps and have fun at uni!

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 7

Ambe.r817

Original post by Bjbggö

I understand that this is circumstantial but all answers welcomed.
I’m (28F) a mature student going to university of Portsmouth, Sep24, Undergrad.
I’m worried I won’t make friends due to the age gap. Add on, wanting to stop drinking, which will make it harder to socialise. I feel like people bond the first weeks, while ****ed on a night out..
I’m OK with postponing sober life for a few weeks if necessary lol, but preferably not if the norm is mad nights out.
I’m staying in Fountain Halls (Catered) in Portsmouth. Will it be really difficult making friends in halls as I’ll be quite a bit older? Doesn’t have to be FH specifically but would love to know what your experiences have been like with mature student living in halls?

Hi I'll be moving in there soon! what's it like?

Reply 8

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper

Original post by Bjbggö

General answer: no one is never too old for new friends and in terms of the age gap, I have friends who are 10 years younger, but mature enough to let me forget it.