Why am I the only one who ends up having to over think everything?

First I would like tosay this forum intriuged me? The questions, but more the responses for or against they all seemed intelligent.

(probably why I do not belong here?) The situations I have been through...
I could not make up if I tried. Yet I am alone in these experiences for some reason. I feel as if I am living a fake life?

more recent experience 1.

Years ago a buddy of mine was dating a friend of ours. But when she decided to end the relationship she was mad at my buddy because she could not date me
due to him and I being friends.

(I dont mow another dudes grass! Also I do not do things to others I would never want done to me!!!!) Just who I am.

Anywho I knew there was always an attraction between us, To me I would rather us all just be friends without causing friction and losing both friends in the end.

YaDa YaDa, so she moves away. Over the years I stay in contact with both of them just being a human and trying to have a life with friends. yet she would always drop hints of her pursuit in me.

One night she calls me crying cuz she just got married and that she is sorry.
She was doing this as a convienence to help a person get their green card. no real relationship to say and she was being helped financially for her part.

Over these years I went to visit her and or when she came back to town we would try hang out if possible. for me completely as friends.
As the time went by and we were both a points in our lives where after all her advances I would maybe give it a try? (We are all adults and we are human?)

So I asked her if I booked her a flight when would be a good time to come visit me?
She responded with the dates and I booked the flight.

I picked here up from airport and we spent 4 days having a good time along with letting her borrow my vehicle to visit others like family and what not.
(Her mom has always loved me from day one of knowing me.)
She flew back home it was a good time.

So we are texting and calling each other all seems good. I ask when would be a good time to fly down and see her? She gives me dates. I book flight. in the mean while we are talking about the excitement of seeing each other again.
The day of my flight I text her I will be heading to airport and hope to see her soon. She replies that she has some stuff going on late minute and It was not going to be the best time for her. OK? I am a flexible person. Things do happen! So I asked should or could I re book for another date? She says yes and provides dates possible over the next two months. i pick memorial weekend
as everyone has time off and what not. she agreed and plans were set.
(I also figure this time would help me feel this whole situation with here via our communications til my next attempt to see her. All the while all seems good and again excited to see each other. This time I even set up car rental so she would not have to drive the hour plus to pick me up and drop me off.

Day comes and same thing happens? (I am like WTF to myself!)
But OK? I am kinda upset due to blowing money for no reason at all?

So I kinda just let the going to visit her go.. We are still friends and that is always good enough for me. I thought?

So as time goes by she would keep sending me pictures and asking when I am gonna come visit and she missws me and really wants me to come there.

I just kinda blow it off. she keeps with her pursuit and picture asking me to visit.

I out of curiousity and jokingly asked her..
"Who is taking the picture of you?' "Your boyfriend?"

She says yes....... that she never thought I would commit or come see her and although she told me so many times she would wait forever for me no matter how long it took she waited all these years anyway.

Some dude she met at a bar...

I and or we waited and when had the chance me thinking we could make a go of it.. Only to be crushed abd loss of a friend for to many years. My intensions going into this experience was never to ruin a life long friendshiip for no reason at all. I am floored and confused. but mostly i am tired of overthinking it like a nightmare everyday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried to keep open communications maybe try dicuss things and get beyond it after all we have been life long friends?? but she will never respond and the one time she did all she said was she "loves me". No she is sorry or why or what or nothing.

It crushes me everytime i am forced to be thinking about her and this

WTF! and floored and it never had to happen or be like this and all i can do is re live it... sucks!

Reply 1

Amaya_XI

Dude you had to see that coming. It was a MAJOR red flag for her to even confess that she was interested in you while being in a relationship along with other things. Morally you getting with your friends’ girl is seen as wrong, but you are right. You are an adult and what you do with your relationships are nobody business. Next time, make sure to be clear with your partner what you’re looking for even if it’s long or short-term. It’s not guaranteed they won’t cheat, but at least you were clear about things. I don’t think you were terribly wrong, so don’t overthink too much about it. Stuff happens in life, and you can’t let it weigh you down.

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

When she came to visit you for 4 days, did you have sex with her?

I'm getting the impression that it's not so much a case of you overthinking, but more a case of you not thinking enough; clearly and logically - with the organ that's between your ears and not the organ between your legs.