Dad issues
Guys what do I do? My dad is the most ignorant, frustrating and disrespectful person I have ever met. From childhood he’s has always been very controlling and very concerned over my education like most ethnic parents are. So controlling where even wearing nail polish was out of the question even when I was 12 years old. Over the years he has loosened up but u have started to see a side of him that genuinely disgusts me. Although I won’t speak much about it, a major event happened to me when I was 7 that escalated crazy fast and has traumatised until now (I’m 18) and it was my dad’s fault. I have talked to him multiple times over the last year about it, trying to reason with him, but despite the effects it had on my family and I he says he regrets nothing and has no remorse at all. Anyways, since December I have found out more and more information about the stuff he has done and it’s just disgusting. We used to have regular talks about some things trying to understand him but it’s the same thing over and over. My mum has a few sisters. During the time my mum was pregnant we had a few family issues which caused my mum to stress over them. Despite my dad constantly reassuring my mum, she couldn’t stop stressing as she is a very family orientated person. The stress did eventually cause her to lose the baby. This affected my family even more.
A few months ago, I found out that even though the miscarriage happened 14 years ago, my dad blames my mother and her sisters for the miscarriage. I felt sick to my stomach when I found out. He says if my mum would have just listened to him, we would still of had the baby. I’ve forgiven him for every major and minor thing he has done thinking he will change but he always does something as I begin to forgive him. Recently he had a major outburst over finding out that I’m a bridesmaid to my mums sister who is soon to be married. He called my aunt disgusting names saying she should’ve told him first despite cutting of a very very close family member to us for saying something about his deceased father (my grandfather) - a bit hypocritical. I tried to talk to him about it, genuinely as softly as I could asking why it was a problem and he screamed at me when I mentioned the family member he cut off; to show him the hypocrisy. I genuinely have no energy to deal with any of this anymore. My mum is fuming that he would talk about her younger sibling like that and my brother is still very young. I’m stuck in a situation where I’m trying to fix things but I’m so sick of the disrespect. What do I do?
A few months ago, I found out that even though the miscarriage happened 14 years ago, my dad blames my mother and her sisters for the miscarriage. I felt sick to my stomach when I found out. He says if my mum would have just listened to him, we would still of had the baby. I’ve forgiven him for every major and minor thing he has done thinking he will change but he always does something as I begin to forgive him. Recently he had a major outburst over finding out that I’m a bridesmaid to my mums sister who is soon to be married. He called my aunt disgusting names saying she should’ve told him first despite cutting of a very very close family member to us for saying something about his deceased father (my grandfather) - a bit hypocritical. I tried to talk to him about it, genuinely as softly as I could asking why it was a problem and he screamed at me when I mentioned the family member he cut off; to show him the hypocrisy. I genuinely have no energy to deal with any of this anymore. My mum is fuming that he would talk about her younger sibling like that and my brother is still very young. I’m stuck in a situation where I’m trying to fix things but I’m so sick of the disrespect. What do I do?
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