That would make it a bit difficult, since I am in another country now and she herself will be going to a third country soon to rest. This is why I asked if I could have a Zoom call with her yesterday when she asked about contributing to the paper. Phrasing it exclusively to seem like all I wanted to discuss was that and nothing else.
Unfortunately, someone I asked about this made me feel a lot worse. They made me acutely aware of how much I like her and appeared to think that what I was afraid of happened- that she felt stressed about me simply writing her, because she didn't like me.
Somebody else, a friend far closer to me, was a lot warmer and made me feel like something else could have happened, independent of me. Maybe I misunderstood something because she was reacting to my distress by praising my appearance, though.
She was so emotional and fun on Thursday, now (especially on Tuesday) she seemed a bit robotic.
I'm probably not ready for a relationship because this is just how much I worry. Especially with people I like as much as her. Except I feel that, if I lose her, I'll never find another like that ever again.