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Trying to have a relationship- difficulty not being anxious

I really want to be in a relationship with a girl from my physics course. I asked her out last week, she agreed and we spend 1 hour together, then some more time texting.
After that, I felt her responses lost emotion (when it got late) and the next day, she wrote me a question and for the next few days hardly visited Whatsapp.
When she replied to me (we were discussing a project), she seemed 'very serious'. I asked her how her weekend went, she didn't reply to that (but replied to some other things I asked about).
Finally, she asked another question, I responded and offered to call her to explain (I was offering to co-author a paper with her).
I got very upset when she came online frequently in the evening (but very briefly) and didn't reply.
I have had some truly bad experiences in the past when texting, and automatically assume that it must be because I pushed her away and she didn't like me anymore.
Am I overreacting? What could be happening?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
I really want to be in a relationship with a girl from my physics course. I asked her out last week, she agreed and we spend 1 hour together, then some more time texting.
After that, I felt her responses lost emotion (when it got late) and the next day, she wrote me a question and for the next few days hardly visited Whatsapp.
When she replied to me (we were discussing a project), she seemed 'very serious'. I asked her how her weekend went, she didn't reply to that (but replied to some other things I asked about).
Finally, she asked another question, I responded and offered to call her to explain (I was offering to co-author a paper with her).
I got very upset when she came online frequently in the evening (but very briefly) and didn't reply.
I have had some truly bad experiences in the past when texting, and automatically assume that it must be because I pushed her away and she didn't like me anymore.
Am I overreacting? What could be happening?

Well, maybe honesty is the best policy here. You should tell her that you like her and see what she says. I don't really get the gist too much but maybe you should tell her that you're anxious because of some things in the past so you might come off a bit awkward. Perhaps best done in person too.
Original post by Anonymous
I really want to be in a relationship with a girl from my physics course. I asked her out last week, she agreed and we spend 1 hour together, then some more time texting.
After that, I felt her responses lost emotion (when it got late) and the next day, she wrote me a question and for the next few days hardly visited Whatsapp.
When she replied to me (we were discussing a project), she seemed 'very serious'. I asked her how her weekend went, she didn't reply to that (but replied to some other things I asked about).
Finally, she asked another question, I responded and offered to call her to explain (I was offering to co-author a paper with her).
I got very upset when she came online frequently in the evening (but very briefly) and didn't reply.
I have had some truly bad experiences in the past when texting, and automatically assume that it must be because I pushed her away and she didn't like me anymore.
Am I overreacting? What could be happening?

You guys went on one date, and now it seems that she isn't reciprocating how you would like her to. Your best option here is to probably ask her where are we? Did you enjoy the first date? Do you want to continue dating eachother? (In your own words and better phrased)

You can't read her mind, and you will get the answers you need by asking her. Thats what you need to do.

EDIT: Forgot to mention definitely have this conversation in person
(edited 5 months ago)
Reply 3
Original post by sound-famous-
You guys went on one date, and now it seems that she isn't reciprocating how you would like her to. Your best option here is to probably ask her where are we? Did you enjoy the first date? Do you want to continue dating eachother? (In your own words and better phrased)
You can't read her mind, and you will get the answers you need by asking her. Thats what you need to do.
EDIT: Forgot to mention definitely have this conversation in person

Yes I'm saying. Definitely in person 🏆
Reply 4
That would make it a bit difficult, since I am in another country now and she herself will be going to a third country soon to rest. This is why I asked if I could have a Zoom call with her yesterday when she asked about contributing to the paper. Phrasing it exclusively to seem like all I wanted to discuss was that and nothing else.
Unfortunately, someone I asked about this made me feel a lot worse. They made me acutely aware of how much I like her and appeared to think that what I was afraid of happened- that she felt stressed about me simply writing her, because she didn't like me.
Somebody else, a friend far closer to me, was a lot warmer and made me feel like something else could have happened, independent of me. Maybe I misunderstood something because she was reacting to my distress by praising my appearance, though.
She was so emotional and fun on Thursday, now (especially on Tuesday) she seemed a bit robotic.
I'm probably not ready for a relationship because this is just how much I worry. Especially with people I like as much as her. Except I feel that, if I lose her, I'll never find another like that ever again.

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