Not sure how I feel about freshers
I don’t drink or enjoy going clubbing/loud events due to my depression and social anxiety. Everyone is talking about how excited they are for freshers but I just feel so anxious about it. I feel like I have to go in order to make friends, but I’m worried that I’ll be seen as weird as I’m very quiet and introverted and I feel like going will just have a negative impact on my self-esteem and mental health. My main concern is that if I don’t go then everyone will form friendship groups and I’ll be left out, as I don’t really have anyone I can call my friend at the moment. What do I do?
Hey, I completely understand. I've been having the same thoughts myself. I don't like the idea of big groups and parties. I prefer smaller groups with people who actually understand me. You will find other people like yourself at uni. I'd recommend talking to some of the uni support team to see if they have a suggestion. You may find them introducing you to someone with the same concerns as you.
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t drink or enjoy going clubbing/loud events due to my depression and social anxiety. Everyone is talking about how excited they are for freshers but I just feel so anxious about it. I feel like I have to go in order to make friends, but I’m worried that I’ll be seen as weird as I’m very quiet and introverted and I feel like going will just have a negative impact on my self-esteem and mental health. My main concern is that if I don’t go then everyone will form friendship groups and I’ll be left out, as I don’t really have anyone I can call my friend at the moment. What do I do?
Most people don't meet their main friends in freshers week. You don't have to go to events you won't feel comfortable at, don't worry about it.
However, while it is valid to want to step back from these kinds of events, you should try and get involved with other societies or sports during your time at university, because this is one of the ways you'll be able to meet similar people and make friends.
I can sympathise, just remember a) there are always events planned that don't centre around "going out" or drinking, and b) there will usually be smaller scale events/societies organised, sometimes for accessibility reasons and sometimes just because it's a niche activity and not so many people will join!
I also wouldn't worry too much about trying to make friends in freshers week - you have a whole year (and then a whole degree after!) to make connections with people, including those you live with, those on your course, people you meet in societies and clubs, as well as random people you might happen across and have common interests with.
I also wouldn't worry too much about trying to make friends in freshers week - you have a whole year (and then a whole degree after!) to make connections with people, including those you live with, those on your course, people you meet in societies and clubs, as well as random people you might happen across and have common interests with.
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t drink or enjoy going clubbing/loud events due to my depression and social anxiety. Everyone is talking about how excited they are for freshers but I just feel so anxious about it. I feel like I have to go in order to make friends, but I’m worried that I’ll be seen as weird as I’m very quiet and introverted and I feel like going will just have a negative impact on my self-esteem and mental health. My main concern is that if I don’t go then everyone will form friendship groups and I’ll be left out, as I don’t really have anyone I can call my friend at the moment. What do I do?
Hi,
It's completely normal to be worried about starting uni and freshers. It may seem like everyone that you have spoken to that are going to uni, are all primarily going out and drinking, during freshers week. However, there is quite a large amount of students who don't drink. There will be lots of events on campus, ran by the students union, which will be sober activities and are during the day. I would recommend that you look at maybe seeing if any of them interests you. You may have to get book on to a few of them, as spaces may be limited.
There will be a freshers fair at some point during the week, in which you can sign up for taster sessions at different clubs and society's. I signed up to the mountaineering society in my second year, and had never climbed before and had quite a big fear of hights. However, I have met so many friends for life through the club. On Wednesdays clubs and society's normally have socials, these are either sober or drinking, however I have noticed, more and more societies have been doing more sober activities on Wednesdays like mini golf, bowling or ice skating, instead of drinking and clubbing. As less students have been wanting to go out, due to the cost of living crisis.
Most friendships at uni, are formed outside of freshers week, so please don't worry that friendship groups will have already been formed by end of freshers week. My first year was 2020, so I didn't really have a freshers week and didn't stay in student accommodations, so I really worried about making friends too. However I found that I met a lot of my friends either through my society I joined, being a student ambassador, and my course. I would definitely recommend being a student ambassador, most university hire student ambassador at the start of each academic year. Being a student ambassador has really helped my confidence and feel more settled at university, alongside making friends, from other years and courses!
Have you registered with the university's wellbeing team? It might be helpful to book in to speak to them during the week, as it could be useful during the week and as well as knowing where they are, in case you need them later.
Good luck!
Suzan - Student Ambassador 🙂
(edited 3 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I completely understand. I've been having the same thoughts myself. I don't like the idea of big groups and parties. I prefer smaller groups with people who actually understand me. You will find other people like yourself at uni. I'd recommend talking to some of the uni support team to see if they have a suggestion. You may find them introducing you to someone with the same concerns as you.
Hi, thank you. It’s nice to hear from someone who feels the same, as most people I’ve talked to are very excited for freshers and it feels like I’m the only one who’s nervous. I’ll definitely try and speak to the uni support team. I think I’m just feeling very nervous due to struggling a lot in sixth form but I am still excited about going to uni and the new opportunities
hope everything goes well for you too!Original post by sound-famous-
Most people don't meet their main friends in freshers week. You don't have to go to events you won't feel comfortable at, don't worry about it.
However, while it is valid to want to step back from these kinds of events, you should try and get involved with other societies or sports during your time at university, because this is one of the ways you'll be able to meet similar people and make friends.
However, while it is valid to want to step back from these kinds of events, you should try and get involved with other societies or sports during your time at university, because this is one of the ways you'll be able to meet similar people and make friends.
Thank you for the advice. I am willing to go the societies and any other social events, I just don’t like big crowds and find it easier to connect in smaller groups usually. I will definitely try signing up for anything interesting
Original post by YSJstudents
Hi,
It's completely normal to be worried about starting uni and freshers. It may seem like everyone that you have spoken to that are going to uni, are all primarily going out and drinking, during freshers week. However, there is quite a large amount of students who don't drink. There will be lots of events on campus, ran by the students union, which will be sober activities and are during the day. I would recommend that you look at maybe seeing if any of them interests you. You may have to get book on to a few of them, as spaces may be limited.
There will be a freshers fair at some point during the week, in which you can sign up for taster sessions at different clubs and society's. I signed up to the mountaineering society in my second year, and had never climbed before and had quite a big fear of hights. However, I have met so many friends for life through the club. On Wednesdays clubs and society's normally have socials, these are either sober or drinking, however I have noticed, more and more societies have been doing more sober activities on Wednesdays like mini golf, bowling or ice skating, instead of drinking and clubbing. As less students have been wanting to go out, due to the cost of living crisis.
Most friendships at uni, are formed outside of freshers week, so please don't worry that friendship groups will have already been formed by end of freshers week. My first year was 2020, so I didn't really have a freshers week and didn't stay in student accommodations, so I really worried about making friends too. However I found that I met a lot of my friends either through my society I joined, being a student ambassador, and my course. I would definitely recommend being a student ambassador, most university hire student ambassador at the start of each academic year. Being a student ambassador has really helped my confidence and feel more settled at university, alongside making friends, from other years and courses!
Have you registered with the university's wellbeing team? It might be helpful to book in to speak to them during the week, as it could be useful during the week and as well as knowing where they are, in case you need them later.
Good luck!
Suzan - Student Ambassador 🙂
It's completely normal to be worried about starting uni and freshers. It may seem like everyone that you have spoken to that are going to uni, are all primarily going out and drinking, during freshers week. However, there is quite a large amount of students who don't drink. There will be lots of events on campus, ran by the students union, which will be sober activities and are during the day. I would recommend that you look at maybe seeing if any of them interests you. You may have to get book on to a few of them, as spaces may be limited.
There will be a freshers fair at some point during the week, in which you can sign up for taster sessions at different clubs and society's. I signed up to the mountaineering society in my second year, and had never climbed before and had quite a big fear of hights. However, I have met so many friends for life through the club. On Wednesdays clubs and society's normally have socials, these are either sober or drinking, however I have noticed, more and more societies have been doing more sober activities on Wednesdays like mini golf, bowling or ice skating, instead of drinking and clubbing. As less students have been wanting to go out, due to the cost of living crisis.
Most friendships at uni, are formed outside of freshers week, so please don't worry that friendship groups will have already been formed by end of freshers week. My first year was 2020, so I didn't really have a freshers week and didn't stay in student accommodations, so I really worried about making friends too. However I found that I met a lot of my friends either through my society I joined, being a student ambassador, and my course. I would definitely recommend being a student ambassador, most university hire student ambassador at the start of each academic year. Being a student ambassador has really helped my confidence and feel more settled at university, alongside making friends, from other years and courses!
Have you registered with the university's wellbeing team? It might be helpful to book in to speak to them during the week, as it could be useful during the week and as well as knowing where they are, in case you need them later.
Good luck!
Suzan - Student Ambassador 🙂
Thank you for the kind words Suzan. I will definitely try going to any other social events, just nothing with huge crowds as that tends to overwhelm me a lot. My uni is aware of my condition and I am receiving support from my GP and I am active in seeking help for myself. They have been very supportive to me so far so I’m feeling more positive.
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t drink or enjoy going clubbing/loud events due to my depression and social anxiety. Everyone is talking about how excited they are for freshers but I just feel so anxious about it. I feel like I have to go in order to make friends, but I’m worried that I’ll be seen as weird as I’m very quiet and introverted and I feel like going will just have a negative impact on my self-esteem and mental health. My main concern is that if I don’t go then everyone will form friendship groups and I’ll be left out, as I don’t really have anyone I can call my friend at the moment. What do I do?
Hi Anom,
I was in the same position as you this time last year. I also don't enjoy clubbing or drinking however I have met so many amazing people in other ways. I personally didn't make friends through freshers events, instead the first friends I made was within my classes. Classes are a great opportunity to bond with your peers as you will all be likely aiming towards similar career goals, therefore have a common interest.
Societies are another great way to bond with people. While some society events consist of drinking, many others don't. Some examples of society events could be doing climbing, gaming, go-karting and more! I highly recommend checking out your universities website or the university's students union website to see if a list of societies is available. This will allow you to get an idea of what exactly to expect. I also recommend going to the fresher societies fair, this will give you a chance to speak with current society members and learn about the group.
There are many other events at freshers that don't include drinking or loud/large crowds, so just check out the events listed if that is available on your students union page.
The most important point to remember is there is so many people at university to meet compared to school/college. There will be many people in the exact same position as you, so you will be bound to meet people through various other ways. Another point is, you have the next few years to meet people, freshers does not define your friend group!
I hope this helped, please feel free to ask me any questions,
-Sophia (Business and Management)
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