Is mental health help worth it or not
My mental health has been on a pretty steady decline pretty much since I started uni. I don’t have any friends or connections with other people and have given up on hoping that will happen. I’m basically just extremely isolated and spend my evenings getting drunk and ranting online.
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
I think you have answered your questions about mental health in your first paragraph?
It's ok to feel isolated, fed up and screwed into the ground because you have no connections to others, in a strange place and not happy at all. It sounds a difficult place to be at, and sometimes the harder you try the worse it gets. That isn't necessarily mental health it is just feeling very unhappy and isolated due to lack of friends. That would be a normal feeling I'm sure for so many of us given the circumstances.
The information we don't see here is the extent of your family support, or if you have any family friend close to you with whom you can chat to express how you feel? I would see if there is a welfare section at Uni and go and see what support you can find and is available for you to help you find new people and groups or even to be signposted to talking support services. You won't be alone feeling that way, there will be hundreds of you all in the same boat. Try the social section of the student union too to find new outlets for your spare time too, often they need volunteers to do hundreds of jobs. Arranging freshers week is the big one.
One thing is for sure. No one will come to dig you out of your room and in your room you are isolated. Nothing will change if you don't make it change. Start by understanding what makes you tick, what you like, dislike, sports, leisure, socialising, etc etc. What have you never tried but would like to? Make a list of things you would want to do, then go and see if you can find someone else who would want to do that? Try and find some team games where clubs are looking for individuals who want others to join them?
If you rant online what are you ranting on about? Are you angry and offloading or just expressing an opinion? If you get drunk what is your relationship with alcohol. Alcohol just numbs everything and stops the pain (for a short time) Why are you drinking? But you can have control over what you want to do about that? You have a choice to live your life with your head wasted and wasting time on this earth or you can make the most of every second of the day, being alive, using your senses to explore the world. Plan to learn something new every day. Seek out new experiences every single day. Be determined to make change happen, and it will. Is the drinking a bad habit or do you think the problem is much deeper and you need to get professional help to quit. If this is the case get help, but beware of putting yourself on the NHS database if you don't really need the help. An NHS problem drinker label can stop you doing so much in your later chosen career.
Often you will never know what you are capable of in life until you have tried it? Many times emotional feelings are painful but perfectly normal, and they don't need medicalising, just surviving. Sometimes people get stuck on a life event and live their life continually through that prism with long term adverse effects because no one has ever shown them how to cope and deal with life's really awful situations. Bad events need acknowledging but then realise that the feelings and the state of mind doesn't last forever. Life moves on. You will move on. But you have to create your own life. No one will come along and do that for you? You are in charge of that now and you have the opportunity to create your own luck and your own potential.
Keep smiling. Don't take life too seriously. Keep looking forwards not back in life. Plan today what you will do tomorrow. One small piece at a time. If you have lived, and you are still upright and breathing you are doing very well. Wake up and live again tomorrow - Get going and never waste a day.
It's ok to feel isolated, fed up and screwed into the ground because you have no connections to others, in a strange place and not happy at all. It sounds a difficult place to be at, and sometimes the harder you try the worse it gets. That isn't necessarily mental health it is just feeling very unhappy and isolated due to lack of friends. That would be a normal feeling I'm sure for so many of us given the circumstances.
The information we don't see here is the extent of your family support, or if you have any family friend close to you with whom you can chat to express how you feel? I would see if there is a welfare section at Uni and go and see what support you can find and is available for you to help you find new people and groups or even to be signposted to talking support services. You won't be alone feeling that way, there will be hundreds of you all in the same boat. Try the social section of the student union too to find new outlets for your spare time too, often they need volunteers to do hundreds of jobs. Arranging freshers week is the big one.
One thing is for sure. No one will come to dig you out of your room and in your room you are isolated. Nothing will change if you don't make it change. Start by understanding what makes you tick, what you like, dislike, sports, leisure, socialising, etc etc. What have you never tried but would like to? Make a list of things you would want to do, then go and see if you can find someone else who would want to do that? Try and find some team games where clubs are looking for individuals who want others to join them?
If you rant online what are you ranting on about? Are you angry and offloading or just expressing an opinion? If you get drunk what is your relationship with alcohol. Alcohol just numbs everything and stops the pain (for a short time) Why are you drinking? But you can have control over what you want to do about that? You have a choice to live your life with your head wasted and wasting time on this earth or you can make the most of every second of the day, being alive, using your senses to explore the world. Plan to learn something new every day. Seek out new experiences every single day. Be determined to make change happen, and it will. Is the drinking a bad habit or do you think the problem is much deeper and you need to get professional help to quit. If this is the case get help, but beware of putting yourself on the NHS database if you don't really need the help. An NHS problem drinker label can stop you doing so much in your later chosen career.
Often you will never know what you are capable of in life until you have tried it? Many times emotional feelings are painful but perfectly normal, and they don't need medicalising, just surviving. Sometimes people get stuck on a life event and live their life continually through that prism with long term adverse effects because no one has ever shown them how to cope and deal with life's really awful situations. Bad events need acknowledging but then realise that the feelings and the state of mind doesn't last forever. Life moves on. You will move on. But you have to create your own life. No one will come along and do that for you? You are in charge of that now and you have the opportunity to create your own luck and your own potential.
Keep smiling. Don't take life too seriously. Keep looking forwards not back in life. Plan today what you will do tomorrow. One small piece at a time. If you have lived, and you are still upright and breathing you are doing very well. Wake up and live again tomorrow - Get going and never waste a day.
Original post by Anonymous
My mental health has been on a pretty steady decline pretty much since I started uni. I don’t have any friends or connections with other people and have given up on hoping that will happen. I’m basically just extremely isolated and spend my evenings getting drunk and ranting online.
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
You've been really brave to open up here about struggling with your mental health and it can feel really scary reaching out for support. You deserve support with everything you have going on and we're sorry to hear doctors have dismissed you in the past as that is not ok. If at any point you feel that you're having thoughts of suicide, please know you can reach out to HOPELINE247 by calling 0800 068 4141, texting 88247, emailing [email protected] or reaching out to us via webchat on our website https://www.papyrus-uk.org/ for support. Take great care
Original post by Anonymous
My mental health has been on a pretty steady decline pretty much since I started uni. I don’t have any friends or connections with other people and have given up on hoping that will happen. I’m basically just extremely isolated and spend my evenings getting drunk and ranting online.
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
Hiya! So I was in a pretty similar situation a few months back. I used to experience violent and painful sobbing episodes that had no evident trigger, but I knew I was very lonely due to thinking that, despite putting in so much effort to talk to others and build friendships, people would still choose to form groups and I would just be.. there. Not really part of the conversation but trying my best
I've pushed very hard for various hormonal tests and have been refused some tests due to me being 'young and not trying to get pregnant', which somehow makes testing not worth it. That in itself was heartbreaking. I reached out for support from 'mind' which is a charity funded mental health support service. I have 2 months worth of meetings / calls, in which I'm free to rant or ask for advice or literally just go for a coffee with a professional. While waiting for tests, my support worker has helped so much in making me feel less isolated and getting me out of the house. I no longer have severe, potentially dangerous emotional episodes. I see my weekly meeting / call as an opportunity to talk about how I've grown and what I've improved in, while still treating it as an honest outlet. I really have said some personal stuff in those calls, and I don't regret it at all.
Basically, yes. Getting that support is worth it even if it's just an excuse to get out of the house and have a chat with someone that makes you feel comfortable to be you. From there, it could help out with specific issues and you could ask for suggestions of other places to reach out for support if you need something in particular. It's not shameful. No one but the people that are there to support you professionally will know about anything you say, unless you are in immediate danger. To be honest, it's worth it if you're even questioning if you need that support.
It might take a little bit to find someone that you feel comfortable talking to. You're okay to request someone else, they're not going to make it personally, some people just don't click as well as others.
It is important and help can make a real difference. Try and get a supportive doctor, with a grasp of young persons issues, perhaps a female GP at uni practice. I have found the benefit of counselling depends on the person. I found an excellent counsellor at college who made a difference
Original post by Anonymous
Hiya! So I was in a pretty similar situation a few months back. I used to experience violent and painful sobbing episodes that had no evident trigger, but I knew I was very lonely due to thinking that, despite putting in so much effort to talk to others and build friendships, people would still choose to form groups and I would just be.. there. Not really part of the conversation but trying my best
I've pushed very hard for various hormonal tests and have been refused some tests due to me being 'young and not trying to get pregnant', which somehow makes testing not worth it. That in itself was heartbreaking. I reached out for support from 'mind' which is a charity funded mental health support service. I have 2 months worth of meetings / calls, in which I'm free to rant or ask for advice or literally just go for a coffee with a professional. While waiting for tests, my support worker has helped so much in making me feel less isolated and getting me out of the house. I no longer have severe, potentially dangerous emotional episodes. I see my weekly meeting / call as an opportunity to talk about how I've grown and what I've improved in, while still treating it as an honest outlet. I really have said some personal stuff in those calls, and I don't regret it at all.
Basically, yes. Getting that support is worth it even if it's just an excuse to get out of the house and have a chat with someone that makes you feel comfortable to be you. From there, it could help out with specific issues and you could ask for suggestions of other places to reach out for support if you need something in particular. It's not shameful. No one but the people that are there to support you professionally will know about anything you say, unless you are in immediate danger. To be honest, it's worth it if you're even questioning if you need that support.
It might take a little bit to find someone that you feel comfortable talking to. You're okay to request someone else, they're not going to make it personally, some people just don't click as well as others.
I've pushed very hard for various hormonal tests and have been refused some tests due to me being 'young and not trying to get pregnant', which somehow makes testing not worth it. That in itself was heartbreaking. I reached out for support from 'mind' which is a charity funded mental health support service. I have 2 months worth of meetings / calls, in which I'm free to rant or ask for advice or literally just go for a coffee with a professional. While waiting for tests, my support worker has helped so much in making me feel less isolated and getting me out of the house. I no longer have severe, potentially dangerous emotional episodes. I see my weekly meeting / call as an opportunity to talk about how I've grown and what I've improved in, while still treating it as an honest outlet. I really have said some personal stuff in those calls, and I don't regret it at all.
Basically, yes. Getting that support is worth it even if it's just an excuse to get out of the house and have a chat with someone that makes you feel comfortable to be you. From there, it could help out with specific issues and you could ask for suggestions of other places to reach out for support if you need something in particular. It's not shameful. No one but the people that are there to support you professionally will know about anything you say, unless you are in immediate danger. To be honest, it's worth it if you're even questioning if you need that support.
It might take a little bit to find someone that you feel comfortable talking to. You're okay to request someone else, they're not going to make it personally, some people just don't click as well as others.
Just a side note, the person that works as my support worker doesn't push to find out what's wrong with me. She genuinely loves a good chat if that's all I need for the time being, and she's prepared if I want to open up about something mid-conversation. You won't be seen as a time waster. There are more people out there than you think that need time with someone that will just chat without judgement.
Original post by Anonymous
My mental health has been on a pretty steady decline pretty much since I started uni. I don’t have any friends or connections with other people and have given up on hoping that will happen. I’m basically just extremely isolated and spend my evenings getting drunk and ranting online.
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
There is a lot of support out there such as:
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-Relate, they have a chat advisor
-Mental Health 24/7: 0800 008 6516
-hubofhope website, useful contact information for your local area
You can self refer yourself to talking therapies on the NHS website.There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad Plenty of resources online, information regarding well being.
(edited 1 month ago)
I'm not reading all these copy and paste replies
Endearing yourself as always I see.
Original post by Admit-One
Endearing yourself as always I see.
The multiple page long chatGPT novels that don’t address the question at all aren’t very helpful 🤷🏻*♀️
Original post by Anonymous
The multiple page long chatGPT novels that don’t address the question at all aren’t very helpful 🤷🏻*♀️
Your question has been answered - yes, it is worth seeking help for mental health problems. You would need to be willing to engage with the help offered though.
Original post by black tea
Your question has been answered - yes, it is worth seeking help for mental health problems. You would need to be willing to engage with the help offered though.
My concern is that I would come across as unwilling to engage without meaning to
Original post by Anonymous
My concern is that I would come across as unwilling to engage without meaning to
Well, then you have to be mindful of not coming across that way
Original post by black tea
Well, then you have to be mindful of not coming across that way
I get perceived as being rude/dismissive just from being quiet/having social anxiety no matter what I do 🤷🏻*♀️
Original post by Anonymous
I get perceived as being rude/dismissive just from being quiet/having social anxiety no matter what I do 🤷🏻*♀️
I suspect there's quite a bit more to it that just being a bit quiet based on your replies online.
Original post by black tea
I suspect there's quite a bit more to it that just being a bit quiet based on your replies online.
I come online to vent and say how I really feel about things, it’s not like I don’t know how to behave in public or even talk about my mental health/feelings at all irl
Original post by Anonymous
I get perceived as being rude/dismissive just from being quiet/having social anxiety no matter what I do 🤷🏻*♀️
Social skills:
Be open, relaxed, approachable, friendly, lighten up
0) You can try nlp exercises, meditation, breathing techniques, visualisation. You can read books on this subject and there is a wealth of resources on the internet, youtube regarding this subject.
1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?
2) Smile, smiling in contagious.
3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.
4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.
5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?
6) Ask how they are, how's everything, how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, their day, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could read up on current affairs.Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.
7) Be passionate about life.
8) In group discussions, relax and talk to someone close or if someone says something you know, you can talk then. Stay relaxed.
9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.
10) You can write things down and come up with a rational reframed response, keep a journal of your thoughts, re ach out to people slowly
Just coming in with a slighlty different angle to everyone, unless youve had mental health issues its hard to really understand where someone is with their specific state of mind, so everyone can pile in with advice which may have worked for them but wont really get this persons universe. I understand this cos i can visit these dark places in my mental state and its not nice.
I would highly (very highly) recomend not staring at social media for long periods - or indeed ranting back online, because the internet is a mess and although its brought many positive things to our lives, its also brought a world of pain in way of mental illness for many. Read the book "the shallows" how the internet has changed our world.
More yogi like practices - meditation, mindfullness and also deep reading on the Spiritual side of things I recomend highly, this side of things cannot be ignored, it addreses our soul and why we end up in the darkness we sometimes find ourselves in. If your an atheist - so be it, but believe me it will still work.
Good books - Ekhart Tolle is one yogi I love, and "The Anxious Generation" all about how phones are destroying us too, read read read, and not online, from a book.
Exercise and good eating is directly related to mental health as well.
Look i feel a very negative thing coming from you, and I get it ok - i can do it too but not anymore as it makes people sad, chatgpt novels - love that, and its true, often people who want to help have never had mental illness so they have no idea - but they care as they posted something - so remember that ?🙂 even if it is from chat gpt - ?
Big thing though to op - dont push people away, dont be mean and dont be a ranter. if you want help you have to be kind as people will run away and not bother. People only care so much - its a thing.
and as Analyst89 sayes, get the foundation in there to some extent before you say you are isolated. People love to be smiled at or spoken to, especially older people who have little interaction due to losing a partner etc and having no job or education to attend.
Good luck my freind.
I would highly (very highly) recomend not staring at social media for long periods - or indeed ranting back online, because the internet is a mess and although its brought many positive things to our lives, its also brought a world of pain in way of mental illness for many. Read the book "the shallows" how the internet has changed our world.
More yogi like practices - meditation, mindfullness and also deep reading on the Spiritual side of things I recomend highly, this side of things cannot be ignored, it addreses our soul and why we end up in the darkness we sometimes find ourselves in. If your an atheist - so be it, but believe me it will still work.
Good books - Ekhart Tolle is one yogi I love, and "The Anxious Generation" all about how phones are destroying us too, read read read, and not online, from a book.
Exercise and good eating is directly related to mental health as well.
Look i feel a very negative thing coming from you, and I get it ok - i can do it too but not anymore as it makes people sad, chatgpt novels - love that, and its true, often people who want to help have never had mental illness so they have no idea - but they care as they posted something - so remember that ?🙂 even if it is from chat gpt - ?
Big thing though to op - dont push people away, dont be mean and dont be a ranter. if you want help you have to be kind as people will run away and not bother. People only care so much - its a thing.
and as Analyst89 sayes, get the foundation in there to some extent before you say you are isolated. People love to be smiled at or spoken to, especially older people who have little interaction due to losing a partner etc and having no job or education to attend.
Good luck my freind.
Original post by Anonymous
My mental health has been on a pretty steady decline pretty much since I started uni. I don’t have any friends or connections with other people and have given up on hoping that will happen. I’m basically just extremely isolated and spend my evenings getting drunk and ranting online.
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
But I’ve had a lot of problems with doctors dismissing me in the past and telling me that things I think I should get treatment for are “just how it is for some people”. And I’m a young woman so I think that adds to me being stereotyped as overdramatic or a time waster. I also find it very difficult to ask for help at all or to open up about the way I’m feeling; internet rants aside, I would never bring up the topic of my mental health or the way I’m feeling. So I think I would potentially be seen as refusing to engage or just time wasting because it would probably take me awhile to open up, and none of my issues are things that would be first in line to receive help. Am I just going to be sent away as a time waster and given advice that I could much more easily find online or is it worth seeking help as someone with comparatively minor mental health concerns
See if your university offers any form of councelling or help with student ambassidors, I think getting help with whoever will be worth it over doing nothing at all especially if you've been struggling so much in university, it matters to find the right doctor who will help you over a random doctor who won't know what they're talking about and dismiss your issues since they're not experienced or knowledgeable, as that will say in itself that those doctors aren't doing their job right.
If not, try and contact a family member about it and see if they can help? And if not there's online resources and people to talk such as Kooth which is free to 18-25 year olds, betterhelp, mind.co.uk, maybe the nhs even, I hope things get better and this is all I can say right now
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