pregnant in 5th year - help pls?

hi

before i start, i know i should have been wiser and more responsible so pls be kind as im already really stressed haha.

two days ago i found out i was 5 weeks pregnant. ive just started my 5th year of medical school. im really torn on what i should do, so any guidance or opinions would be much appreciated.

ive been with my boyfriend for a while now and ive always wanted kids ( not sure this soon!), and never expected to be in this situation. But im starting to experience early pregnancy symptoms, which makes it hard to dismiss and pretend that its not happening. it feels so much more real and over the past few days ive grown quite attached. on sunday, my gut was i cant keep the baby as its not practical and i need to finish uni. however now ive had time to think, my heart wants the baby but im just not sure if it is practical at all.

the baby would be due start of may, and im due to graudate on 4/7/25, which is 2 months later. I would have 2 months of assistantship between the due date and my graudation.

im really torn- would a termination be better for me, so that i can graduate, then maybe relook at having a baby in a couple years, alothough im growing really attached and the thought of terminating breaks my heart. Or do i continue with the pregnancy but im not sure how feasible this would be with placements in final year and that awkward 2 month period where i would need to be on placement but also have a newborn?

thanks in advance

Reply 1

AriTem

I feel for you. There is no right or wrong and you can never predict how life will turn out. There is no doubt that having the baby will be life changing for you and will make your early career life much more difficult. Are you going to do this alone? What does your boyfriend think and does he want a child this early with you? Realistically did you see yourself settling down with him and building a family together? If he is committed to both of you then that's another positive.

The brain says termination would be the less complicated option but if your heart is set on having the baby then at the end of the day it is your choice no matter what else anyone thinks. If you do decide to have the child then I would hope that you have parents that will help support you in your choice and hopefully your boyfriend's family are also supportive. Family support is always helpful whenever you choose to have kids. In this situation, early on in your life with a career that asks so much of you, that family support would be even more priceless.

I know there's a lot of cliches here but having children is very rewarding but also very hard work. It can also bring your boyfriend and you closer together or be a wedge that drives you apart in the future. But that is true at any point in life too. I wish you the very best whatever happens and if you do choose to terminate then don't ever doubt or regret your choice either.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Having a child is a precious event, if you think you have the mental ability and the clarity to provide the child necessary provision to have a healthy environment and nurture it then you could have it or even you have doubt over your ability to fulfill the duty of a mother then you shouldn't consider it to have and at this young age it would hectic to manage both way if you alone have to manage and your boyfriend doesn't support you and other external factors would increase the odds against and may be even in your part .

Reply 3

Angel 757

Original post by Anonymous

hi
before i start, i know i should have been wiser and more responsible so pls be kind as im already really stressed haha.
two days ago i found out i was 5 weeks pregnant. ive just started my 5th year of medical school. im really torn on what i should do, so any guidance or opinions would be much appreciated.
ive been with my boyfriend for a while now and ive always wanted kids ( not sure this soon!), and never expected to be in this situation. But im starting to experience early pregnancy symptoms, which makes it hard to dismiss and pretend that its not happening. it feels so much more real and over the past few days ive grown quite attached. on sunday, my gut was i cant keep the baby as its not practical and i need to finish uni. however now ive had time to think, my heart wants the baby but im just not sure if it is practical at all.
the baby would be due start of may, and im due to graudate on 4/7/25, which is 2 months later. I would have 2 months of assistantship between the due date and my graudation.
im really torn- would a termination be better for me, so that i can graduate, then maybe relook at having a baby in a couple years, alothough im growing really attached and the thought of terminating breaks my heart. Or do i continue with the pregnancy but im not sure how feasible this would be with placements in final year and that awkward 2 month period where i would need to be on placement but also have a newborn?
thanks in advance

Hi

My heart goes out to you.

I don't feel I can give you an answer because I don't know you, but I would like to say that it's up to you and the father of the baby.

Sit down and talk about it, before making any major decisions.

All the very best.

Reply 4

MillieeM2

Is it possible to speak to your university about this? They could try to make arrangements for you e.g during placements or graduation.

Reply 5

Cla0116

Life is precious and wanting to become a doctor it’s your duty is to preserve life but that’s my opinion. The university might help in this situation by helping you with your schedule and also speak to your boyfriend and if he is not prepared to help you then is not the man for you. He should help you because you both did it. Your family could help and they are supportive of you. There’s always a way if you are willing.. terminating a pregnancy is not always the answer..

Reply 6

AriTem

Original post by Cla0116

It certainly is your opinion :smile:

. Termination is not always the answer but it is an option and sometimes in life we make choices based on what we feel is right for us at that point. I don't really think saying that doctors have a duty to preserve life has any bearing on the OP's decision to choose (and I would add this is a legally enshrined option). One could equally argue that without a child the OP would be better able to devote herself to preserving the life of her ill patients because she doesn't have to worry about making childcare provisions and being on time to get her child.

Bottom line, we don't have the full facts to hand and we aren't in the OP's shoes. I am sure she is taking her time to consider her choices carefully. I don't think anyone should ever judge what she chooses to do and if she were my daughter I would only support her fully in whatever decision is made.