How do I glow up for uni? - Desperate help needed for an ugly girl
How do I glow up for uni? I am starting uni at the start of october (so I have one month till then). I am overweight (154 cm and 68.65kg), have no clothes that I look pretty in, have no idea how to use makeup, can't thread so I don't know how to deal with my eyebrows and upper lip area. I am very unfit, I have no cute clothes or know how to get clothes I look good in, but I am determined to make a change. I really want to become a brand new person before I start uni and I want to feel confident in myself. I need strong glasses, but I have made an effort, and the prettiest I can make myself look is if I wear contacts, lipgloss and straighten my hair (badly though). I am desperate to look gorgeous before university starts as I have never felt pretty or had any interaction with a guy as I am too ugly (eg. I have never been asked out, held anyone's hand, texted anyone etc) and it's just so awful I am desperate and will do literally anything to change. Please help me I am begging you anyone!!! please I am so grateful for any advice. thank you
Hi first of all, don't be too hard on yourself! You are beautiful and your worth isn't calculated by how many bfs you have had. Makeup does not equal beautiful, but I understand the social pressure you must feel to make you feel this way.
Secondly, have a go at getting healthier! Don't eat as much processed food, sugar, and "comfort foods" and focus on eating healthily. You are what you eat! Your food is technically just a bunch of vitamins or nutrients and if you keep eating ultraprocessed, E number, sugary food then it's not going to be good for your body or skin.
Gtg, I'll touch on the looking "cute" layer sorry
Secondly, have a go at getting healthier! Don't eat as much processed food, sugar, and "comfort foods" and focus on eating healthily. You are what you eat! Your food is technically just a bunch of vitamins or nutrients and if you keep eating ultraprocessed, E number, sugary food then it's not going to be good for your body or skin.
Gtg, I'll touch on the looking "cute" layer sorry
*later
M = (V x CoS) - C
Motivation = (Value of the goal to you x Chance of Success from 0 to 1 with 1 being certain) - Cost
You clearly have a lot of motivation to get your BMI down from 29 to 22.
Your chance of success for Oct 2024 is 0.000000001.
The cost of doing it would be 10,000,000.
You could get a chance of success as high as 0.9 if you set a target of October 2025.
You could get it at a cost of 3.14 if:
You have an open mind as to what foods and drinks you're willing to consume. IE you're not one of those rather fussy eaters.
You read the right books, watch the right videos and incorporate them into your life.
Read Dr Michael Greger's How Not To Die and How Not to Diet.
Watch videos from professional chefs such as Gordon Ramsay and Marco White for inspiration on cooking (just ignore their salt and stockpot habits).
The aim is to displace as much junk and semi-junk food with delicious, nutritious unprocessed foods. With you never starving yourself and you feeling better in the short term from what you're eating and drinking. And you enjoying the taste and texture of what you eat.
EG check out Marco White's ratatouille and pomidoro sauce recipes. And his prawns with cous cous (I use large frozen prawns for convenience and prefer seedless grapes to sultanas).
Gordon Ramsay's butter bean salad.
Displacing biscuits, crisps and choccie bars with fresh fruit will help.
Replacing fizzy pop and booze with water & green tea or herbal tea will help.
Incorporate exercise into you daily routine, eg by jogging to and from lectures, or sprinting if you live on campus.
That's the weight side of things. To add to the motivation, think of the extra years of life you're likely to get as well as the life to your years. IE lose weight because it's you loving you. As well as increasing the chances of men finding you physically attractive.
Read Sherry Argov's (misleadingly titled) Why Men Love *****es (female dogs).
That will explain why shouldn't straighten your hair - unless you're doing it for you.
Why you shouldn't wear lipgloss, unless you're doing it for you.
Why you shouldn't thread.
It will teach you the mindset that you should have, and the behaviour patterns you should have in order to maximise your chances of success with men.
Nobody is perfect. We all have different challenges to overcome. On 1st October you may feel that you're a work in progress. That's fine. That still shouldn't stop you going out and going around socialising. Breaking the ice with other students. Having friendly, positive, enthusiastic, laughter filled chats with them. Both male and female.
Work as best you can with whatever you've got, come the start of October.
It's quite possible that you will come across a man that will fall in love with the inner beauty that you have. Especially if you're studying Medicine or How To Be CEO of my father's multi-national corporation...
Motivation = (Value of the goal to you x Chance of Success from 0 to 1 with 1 being certain) - Cost
You clearly have a lot of motivation to get your BMI down from 29 to 22.
Your chance of success for Oct 2024 is 0.000000001.
The cost of doing it would be 10,000,000.
You could get a chance of success as high as 0.9 if you set a target of October 2025.
You could get it at a cost of 3.14 if:
You have an open mind as to what foods and drinks you're willing to consume. IE you're not one of those rather fussy eaters.
You read the right books, watch the right videos and incorporate them into your life.
Read Dr Michael Greger's How Not To Die and How Not to Diet.
Watch videos from professional chefs such as Gordon Ramsay and Marco White for inspiration on cooking (just ignore their salt and stockpot habits).
The aim is to displace as much junk and semi-junk food with delicious, nutritious unprocessed foods. With you never starving yourself and you feeling better in the short term from what you're eating and drinking. And you enjoying the taste and texture of what you eat.
EG check out Marco White's ratatouille and pomidoro sauce recipes. And his prawns with cous cous (I use large frozen prawns for convenience and prefer seedless grapes to sultanas).
Gordon Ramsay's butter bean salad.
Displacing biscuits, crisps and choccie bars with fresh fruit will help.
Replacing fizzy pop and booze with water & green tea or herbal tea will help.
Incorporate exercise into you daily routine, eg by jogging to and from lectures, or sprinting if you live on campus.
That's the weight side of things. To add to the motivation, think of the extra years of life you're likely to get as well as the life to your years. IE lose weight because it's you loving you. As well as increasing the chances of men finding you physically attractive.
Read Sherry Argov's (misleadingly titled) Why Men Love *****es (female dogs).
That will explain why shouldn't straighten your hair - unless you're doing it for you.
Why you shouldn't wear lipgloss, unless you're doing it for you.
Why you shouldn't thread.
It will teach you the mindset that you should have, and the behaviour patterns you should have in order to maximise your chances of success with men.
Nobody is perfect. We all have different challenges to overcome. On 1st October you may feel that you're a work in progress. That's fine. That still shouldn't stop you going out and going around socialising. Breaking the ice with other students. Having friendly, positive, enthusiastic, laughter filled chats with them. Both male and female.
Work as best you can with whatever you've got, come the start of October.
It's quite possible that you will come across a man that will fall in love with the inner beauty that you have. Especially if you're studying Medicine or How To Be CEO of my father's multi-national corporation...
Hi,
My advice to you is to tackle the weight.
To do this, I would suggest the keto diet as it helped me to lose weight.
I think that's the basic of where I would start and also exercise everyday if you can even if it's a slow walk.
My advice to you is to tackle the weight.
To do this, I would suggest the keto diet as it helped me to lose weight.
I think that's the basic of where I would start and also exercise everyday if you can even if it's a slow walk.
thank you so much for all your replies! I am trying my hardest and am on a dairy free, gluten free, and sugar free (but I am still eating fruit and veg) diet. I am weighing out all my food precisely and have been eating 800 calories a day and then burning off 400 by walking (I measure this with my watch). I do one 10 minute cardio exercise a day and I do a 5 minute 2kg weightlifting excersise a day too. I am trying to drink 3l of water a day but it is a bit tough. Despite doing all of this, I still feel like I'm making no progress and I also have no idea what my daily caloric needs are so that I can ensure I am in a deficit. Please advise me with any other tips or pieces of advice, I really appreciate it tysm!!
Original post by Anonymous
thank you so much for all your replies! I am trying my hardest and am on a dairy free, gluten free, and sugar free (but I am still eating fruit and veg) diet. I am weighing out all my food precisely and have been eating 800 calories a day and then burning off 400 by walking (I measure this with my watch). I do one 10 minute cardio exercise a day and I do a 5 minute 2kg weightlifting excersise a day too. I am trying to drink 3l of water a day but it is a bit tough. Despite doing all of this, I still feel like I'm making no progress and I also have no idea what my daily caloric needs are so that I can ensure I am in a deficit. Please advise me with any other tips or pieces of advice, I really appreciate it tysm!!
I forgot to add that I have been doing this for 6 days, and I have lost 2.1 kg so far. Is this good progress? I was 60.8kg, and then after 6 days I was 58.65 kg.
Original post by Anonymous
I forgot to add that I have been doing this for 6 days, and I have lost 2.1 kg so far. Is this good progress? I was 60.8kg, and then after 6 days I was 58.65 kg.
That's really good!
For facial hair you could try and the "Finishing Touch Flawless Next Generation Brows, Eyebrow Hair Trimmer – Rechargeable, White" on amazon for £10.00. I don't like threading and as a brown girl I love this pen particularly because you can specifically zap out any hairs and give some brows a little trim. This also works for the upper lip as well 🙂
Good luck!
1. Learn how to thread from a yt video
https://youtube.com/shorts/w9r6UMZjes4?si=_fSzoSuDO9ychJjk
Or even get wax and wax instead = remove all facial hair
2. Get skincare products ( alot of recommendations on tt) that r specialised for ur skin type ( oily/dry/combination)
3. Depending on ur skin tone and facial features buy and learn makeup ( careful w colours)
The best guide I can recommend:
https://youtu.be/Q0AUWyp01eg?si=XHM8xvjIMIAORCyg
4. If you are allowed, attend gym ( it will make a difference to everything even confidence)
5. Clothes I would recommend sticking w oversized ( trench coats, hoodies, shirts) for now only. Until u find ur signature style that u feel comfortable in ( also shein is good for trench coats )
6. Learn how to take care of ur hair ( hair is a huge factor that contributes to ur femininity, use hair masks [finno], get a haircut( even at home ) and learn how to style it ( yt ) )
7. READ BOOKS ABT SELF CONFIDENCE and watch the wizard liz ( without self confidence no matter how much effort you put into external looks u wont attract)
8. Walks walks walks
9. I haven’t personally tried it but having black coffee in the morning reduces appetite ( might want to try that if you are desperate to losing weight)
You have 1 month to make a change, its all up to u and ur determination whether you take action or not
https://youtube.com/shorts/w9r6UMZjes4?si=_fSzoSuDO9ychJjk
Or even get wax and wax instead = remove all facial hair
2. Get skincare products ( alot of recommendations on tt) that r specialised for ur skin type ( oily/dry/combination)
3. Depending on ur skin tone and facial features buy and learn makeup ( careful w colours)
The best guide I can recommend:
https://youtu.be/Q0AUWyp01eg?si=XHM8xvjIMIAORCyg
4. If you are allowed, attend gym ( it will make a difference to everything even confidence)
5. Clothes I would recommend sticking w oversized ( trench coats, hoodies, shirts) for now only. Until u find ur signature style that u feel comfortable in ( also shein is good for trench coats )
6. Learn how to take care of ur hair ( hair is a huge factor that contributes to ur femininity, use hair masks [finno], get a haircut( even at home ) and learn how to style it ( yt ) )
7. READ BOOKS ABT SELF CONFIDENCE and watch the wizard liz ( without self confidence no matter how much effort you put into external looks u wont attract)
8. Walks walks walks
9. I haven’t personally tried it but having black coffee in the morning reduces appetite ( might want to try that if you are desperate to losing weight)
You have 1 month to make a change, its all up to u and ur determination whether you take action or not
Original post by Anonymous
thank you so much for all your replies! I am trying my hardest and am on a dairy free, gluten free, and sugar free (but I am still eating fruit and veg) diet. I am weighing out all my food precisely and have been eating 800 calories a day and then burning off 400 by walking (I measure this with my watch). I do one 10 minute cardio exercise a day and I do a 5 minute 2kg weightlifting excersise a day too. I am trying to drink 3l of water a day but it is a bit tough. Despite doing all of this, I still feel like I'm making no progress and I also have no idea what my daily caloric needs are so that I can ensure I am in a deficit. Please advise me with any other tips or pieces of advice, I really appreciate it tysm!!
That diet is totally unsustainable and incredibly unhealthy! Your body needs more than 400 calories a day, with the right nutrients, so you should be eating a healthy balanced diet and not cutting out entire food groups. You should be on about 1500 calories AFTER exercise so aiming to eat at least 2000, or have around 1500 on a rest day.
Original post by Anonymous
thank you so much for all your replies! I am trying my hardest and am on a dairy free, gluten free, and sugar free (but I am still eating fruit and veg) diet. I am weighing out all my food precisely and have been eating 800 calories a day and then burning off 400 by walking (I measure this with my watch). I do one 10 minute cardio exercise a day and I do a 5 minute 2kg weightlifting excersise a day too. I am trying to drink 3l of water a day but it is a bit tough. Despite doing all of this, I still feel like I'm making no progress and I also have no idea what my daily caloric needs are so that I can ensure I am in a deficit. Please advise me with any other tips or pieces of advice, I really appreciate it tysm!!
You're making no progress because what you're doing is incredibly bad for you. You're buying into a handful of health and dieting myths, and it's going to cause much more harm than good. You need to take some time to research the science on this properly. The ZOE podcast is really good on this. They pick a specific subject every week and talk about the latest science in that area. They did a recent one on obesity that you should make it a priority to listen to.
Just hitting on a few of the myths you've bought into, the first one is that diets do not work. Not at all. The reason for that is that your body has set routines and processes, and you have to change those gradually. You can lose a lot of weight quickly, but it is extremely unhealthy to do so, and you are highly likely to put that weight back on again fairly quickly. What you need to do is adopt a healthy lifestyle and permanently change those habits gradually, rather than trying to find a secret route to dropping this weight quickly. You simply cannot do that healthily.
Which touches on the second myth, and that is that you need to maintain a calorie deficit to lose weight. Whilst there is some truth in that, what you are doing is extremely harmful. You cannot live day to day on that few calories, and you must stop counting calories as your primary method of weight management. The main reason for that is that we all process and react to food differently. A calorie is just the measure of energy that food gives off when it is burned. But the way that your body processes that depends on a range of factors, including the form that you eat the food in, when you're eating it, what you're eating it with and how you are personally predisposed to processing that sort of food. Calorie counting the way that you're doing it, even if you were counting a healthy number of calories, is not a reliable measure of how your body is reacting to food.
Drinking three litres of water a day also isn't necessary. It was very popular years ago, but it's since been shown that it doesn't have the benefits that it was thought it did. Of course drinking water instead of carbonated drinks and juices is a good idea, but force feeding yourself water is not helpful. Humans are very attuned to our water needs. You're not going to suddenly become dehydrated if you don't drink litres of water a day.
The way you need to approach this is to create healthy habits in every aspect of your life. That means establishing a healthy and sustainable diet. I don't agree with a lot of what he writes on here, but Dunning Kruger's advice on that is good. You need to focus on eating non or minimally processed whole foods. Fruit, nuts, seeds, herbs, spices, grains, plants etc need to be a staple of your diet, and you need to be consistently eating a wide range of them. Food For Life by Tim Spector is really good on this, and I would recommend that you read it. Establishing a diet like that is absolutely key not only for losing weight, but creating a healthy lifestyle that you can sustain.
Beyond eating, exercise is very important, and that should include cardio and resistance training, but it sounds like you're moving in the right direction on that. Sleeping enough (at least 7-8 hours a night) and at the same times each day so that your body builds a routine is important. All of these things go into whether or not you have a healthy lifestyle, and it all matters for your weight and overall health. So stop looking for gimmicky solutions, and do this properly. It takes time, but the benefits will have a massive positive effect on your life.
Original post by Surnia
That diet is totally unsustainable and incredibly unhealthy! Your body needs more than 400 calories a day, with the right nutrients, so you should be eating a healthy balanced diet and not cutting out entire food groups. You should be on about 1500 calories AFTER exercise so aiming to eat at least 2000, or have around 1500 on a rest day.
I have to add to that amazing reply by Surnia.
A person who weights more actually needs more calories to function because s/he burns more calories in any activity. Just walking from one end of the room to the other you burn more calories than one in 'normal' weight. So you need a diet with more calories, not less. You need more exercise and more toning to burn body fat and gain muscles, but as for calories, you should not consume less.
Please consult with a nutritionist before you cut much of your diet. 800 calories is way too little for a normal weight person, not to mention someone who is overweight.
Original post by Anonymous
thank you so much for all your replies! I am trying my hardest and am on a dairy free, gluten free, and sugar free (but I am still eating fruit and veg) diet. I am weighing out all my food precisely and have been eating 800 calories a day and then burning off 400 by walking (I measure this with my watch). I do one 10 minute cardio exercise a day and I do a 5 minute 2kg weightlifting excersise a day too. I am trying to drink 3l of water a day but it is a bit tough. Despite doing all of this, I still feel like I'm making no progress and I also have no idea what my daily caloric needs are so that I can ensure I am in a deficit. Please advise me with any other tips or pieces of advice, I really appreciate it tysm!!
You won't lose much weight in six days, you'll need to give it time. 2.1kg lost so far is good though. However, like others have said 800 calories per day is far too little. You should be in a calorie deficit to burn off fat, but 800 and 400 burnt is too far. I can't remember the name of it but there's an equation you can find online that will help you calculate your recommended calorie intake - you'll want to eat less than that amount. Remember that most calories you take in will be burnt off by the body's normal functions, so you do have some breathing space with it. I really respect the effort though, I wish I could diet better than I do now!
Edit: For context, the calorie deficit should be between 500 and 1000 calories less than your recommended calorie intake. 800 calories per day may be relatively reasonable if your recommended intake is 1800 calories, but I still think it's going a bit too far.
(edited 1 week ago)
Original post by Doomotron
You won't lose much weight in six days, you'll need to give it time. 2.1kg lost so far is good though. However, like others have said 800 calories per day is far too little. You should be in a calorie deficit to burn off fat, but 800 and 400 burnt is too far. I can't remember the name of it but there's an equation you can find online that will help you calculate your recommended calorie intake - you'll want to eat less than that amount. Remember that most calories you take in will be burnt off by the body's normal functions, so you do have some breathing space with it. I really respect the effort though, I wish I could diet better than I do now!
Edit: For context, the calorie deficit should be between 500 and 1000 calories less than your recommended calorie intake. 800 calories per day may be relatively reasonable if your recommended intake is 1800 calories, but I still think it's going a bit too far.
Edit: For context, the calorie deficit should be between 500 and 1000 calories less than your recommended calorie intake. 800 calories per day may be relatively reasonable if your recommended intake is 1800 calories, but I still think it's going a bit too far.
TDEE: Total Daily Energy Expenditure.
Original post by Anonymous
How do I glow up for uni? I am starting uni at the start of october (so I have one month till then). I am overweight (154 cm and 68.65kg), have no clothes that I look pretty in, have no idea how to use makeup, can't thread so I don't know how to deal with my eyebrows and upper lip area. I am very unfit, I have no cute clothes or know how to get clothes I look good in, but I am determined to make a change. I really want to become a brand new person before I start uni and I want to feel confident in myself. I need strong glasses, but I have made an effort, and the prettiest I can make myself look is if I wear contacts, lipgloss and straighten my hair (badly though). I am desperate to look gorgeous before university starts as I have never felt pretty or had any interaction with a guy as I am too ugly (eg. I have never been asked out, held anyone's hand, texted anyone etc) and it's just so awful I am desperate and will do literally anything to change. Please help me I am begging you anyone!!! please I am so grateful for any advice. thank you
I was also going to say that finding clothes that fit your body type, as well as colours, styles etc will have a big effect on the way you look!
Also - trust me, curly hair is beautiful ❤️. No need to straighten it
. I find that using clear brow gel,clear mascara and clear lip gloss really is a great "no makeup" makeup look.
Finally, people will like and love you for your personality, not your outward attempts to fit beauty standards. Definitely start living healthily though, ot will have a big impact on your life long-term.
And don't forget to focus on studies as that's what uni is for
Hi. Thank you so much for all your replies, I really feel so grateful that there are so many people willing to help me. I'm sorry for the long rant but I felt this was the only way to fully get help if anyone is willing to reply:
I've thought really hard about everything you've said, and I'm reluctantly starting to agree that having a net of 400 calories is dangerous and not good for me. I've been having intense headaches, loss of vision and extreme weakness since I've been calorie counting.
However, I still have to be on my dairy free, sugar free and gluten free diet as my doctor has put me on it as I have a weak immune system and have severe reactions when I am not on this diet. I am so desperate to lose weight because all my life I've felt so fat and ugly, and I've been calorie counting since I was 15.
I used to be much skinnier, but after years of battling my food issues, I finally understood how calorie counting was not good for me. From september 2023 I then gained 11 kg (to reach my current weight) as I got really sick so my medication caused lots of weight gain. My illness then caused me SO MUCH stress in relation to missing all of school before my A level exams, which caused more weight gain and the fact that I was too ill to excersise or even walk too much has meant that I gained lots of weight. I am now freaking out because I have recovered from my ilness but am so fat my body dosent feel like my own anymore and it's a really scary feeling not recognising myself when I look in the mirror. I am desperate to lose weight, but I don't know how to do this without starving and calorie counting. I just don't understand how much food I need to eat everyday and how to even tell if I'm overeating or not if I'm not calorie counting, but then I also can't calorie count anymore as its making me sick. I have no idea how to just eat food like a normal person, as I just struggle so much, I either starve or overeat because I am so afraid that not eating will cause me to be sick or be very dangerous for me. No one in my life knows how much I suffer from eating disorders or how I have been calories counting and literally weighing out every single morsel I eat, so there is no one that can support me. I can't ever let anyone know I suffer from these issues as I would be in huge trouble and I can't deal with any more anxiety or hostility.
I am so sorry for writing so much and I doubt it makes any sense, but the main point is I want to heal my problems with food, I am aware that an online forum is the completely wrong place to do this but I have literally no other options, but I also want to get down to a healthy weight and be pretty within the next month. Any tips or advice would be so appreciated I can't ever explain how much your help means to me. Thank you so so so so much.
I've thought really hard about everything you've said, and I'm reluctantly starting to agree that having a net of 400 calories is dangerous and not good for me. I've been having intense headaches, loss of vision and extreme weakness since I've been calorie counting.
However, I still have to be on my dairy free, sugar free and gluten free diet as my doctor has put me on it as I have a weak immune system and have severe reactions when I am not on this diet. I am so desperate to lose weight because all my life I've felt so fat and ugly, and I've been calorie counting since I was 15.
I used to be much skinnier, but after years of battling my food issues, I finally understood how calorie counting was not good for me. From september 2023 I then gained 11 kg (to reach my current weight) as I got really sick so my medication caused lots of weight gain. My illness then caused me SO MUCH stress in relation to missing all of school before my A level exams, which caused more weight gain and the fact that I was too ill to excersise or even walk too much has meant that I gained lots of weight. I am now freaking out because I have recovered from my ilness but am so fat my body dosent feel like my own anymore and it's a really scary feeling not recognising myself when I look in the mirror. I am desperate to lose weight, but I don't know how to do this without starving and calorie counting. I just don't understand how much food I need to eat everyday and how to even tell if I'm overeating or not if I'm not calorie counting, but then I also can't calorie count anymore as its making me sick. I have no idea how to just eat food like a normal person, as I just struggle so much, I either starve or overeat because I am so afraid that not eating will cause me to be sick or be very dangerous for me. No one in my life knows how much I suffer from eating disorders or how I have been calories counting and literally weighing out every single morsel I eat, so there is no one that can support me. I can't ever let anyone know I suffer from these issues as I would be in huge trouble and I can't deal with any more anxiety or hostility.
I am so sorry for writing so much and I doubt it makes any sense, but the main point is I want to heal my problems with food, I am aware that an online forum is the completely wrong place to do this but I have literally no other options, but I also want to get down to a healthy weight and be pretty within the next month. Any tips or advice would be so appreciated I can't ever explain how much your help means to me. Thank you so so so so much.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi. Thank you so much for all your replies, I really feel so grateful that there are so many people willing to help me. I'm sorry for the long rant but I felt this was the only way to fully get help if anyone is willing to reply:
I've thought really hard about everything you've said, and I'm reluctantly starting to agree that having a net of 400 calories is dangerous and not good for me. I've been having intense headaches, loss of vision and extreme weakness since I've been calorie counting.
However, I still have to be on my dairy free, sugar free and gluten free diet as my doctor has put me on it as I have a weak immune system and have severe reactions when I am not on this diet. I am so desperate to lose weight because all my life I've felt so fat and ugly, and I've been calorie counting since I was 15.
I used to be much skinnier, but after years of battling my food issues, I finally understood how calorie counting was not good for me. From september 2023 I then gained 11 kg (to reach my current weight) as I got really sick so my medication caused lots of weight gain. My illness then caused me SO MUCH stress in relation to missing all of school before my A level exams, which caused more weight gain and the fact that I was too ill to excersise or even walk too much has meant that I gained lots of weight. I am now freaking out because I have recovered from my ilness but am so fat my body dosent feel like my own anymore and it's a really scary feeling not recognising myself when I look in the mirror. I am desperate to lose weight, but I don't know how to do this without starving and calorie counting. I just don't understand how much food I need to eat everyday and how to even tell if I'm overeating or not if I'm not calorie counting, but then I also can't calorie count anymore as its making me sick. I have no idea how to just eat food like a normal person, as I just struggle so much, I either starve or overeat because I am so afraid that not eating will cause me to be sick or be very dangerous for me. No one in my life knows how much I suffer from eating disorders or how I have been calories counting and literally weighing out every single morsel I eat, so there is no one that can support me. I can't ever let anyone know I suffer from these issues as I would be in huge trouble and I can't deal with any more anxiety or hostility.
I am so sorry for writing so much and I doubt it makes any sense, but the main point is I want to heal my problems with food, I am aware that an online forum is the completely wrong place to do this but I have literally no other options, but I also want to get down to a healthy weight and be pretty within the next month. Any tips or advice would be so appreciated I can't ever explain how much your help means to me. Thank you so so so so much.
I've thought really hard about everything you've said, and I'm reluctantly starting to agree that having a net of 400 calories is dangerous and not good for me. I've been having intense headaches, loss of vision and extreme weakness since I've been calorie counting.
However, I still have to be on my dairy free, sugar free and gluten free diet as my doctor has put me on it as I have a weak immune system and have severe reactions when I am not on this diet. I am so desperate to lose weight because all my life I've felt so fat and ugly, and I've been calorie counting since I was 15.
I used to be much skinnier, but after years of battling my food issues, I finally understood how calorie counting was not good for me. From september 2023 I then gained 11 kg (to reach my current weight) as I got really sick so my medication caused lots of weight gain. My illness then caused me SO MUCH stress in relation to missing all of school before my A level exams, which caused more weight gain and the fact that I was too ill to excersise or even walk too much has meant that I gained lots of weight. I am now freaking out because I have recovered from my ilness but am so fat my body dosent feel like my own anymore and it's a really scary feeling not recognising myself when I look in the mirror. I am desperate to lose weight, but I don't know how to do this without starving and calorie counting. I just don't understand how much food I need to eat everyday and how to even tell if I'm overeating or not if I'm not calorie counting, but then I also can't calorie count anymore as its making me sick. I have no idea how to just eat food like a normal person, as I just struggle so much, I either starve or overeat because I am so afraid that not eating will cause me to be sick or be very dangerous for me. No one in my life knows how much I suffer from eating disorders or how I have been calories counting and literally weighing out every single morsel I eat, so there is no one that can support me. I can't ever let anyone know I suffer from these issues as I would be in huge trouble and I can't deal with any more anxiety or hostility.
I am so sorry for writing so much and I doubt it makes any sense, but the main point is I want to heal my problems with food, I am aware that an online forum is the completely wrong place to do this but I have literally no other options, but I also want to get down to a healthy weight and be pretty within the next month. Any tips or advice would be so appreciated I can't ever explain how much your help means to me. Thank you so so so so much.
Not mentioining that you were under medical supervision for this puts a wholely different slant on things. It comes down to self-esteem and a reality check that you won't be able to make huge changes in a month.
Go back to see your doctor and ask about help with your disordered eating and about counselling for your mental health. All the best.
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