Some Boy Problems...💁

Okay, so there's this guy. I've been friends with him since forever and we're really close. He and my sister dated a while back. I realised I liked him right around the time my sister told me she was into him, so I've kept my mouth shut. I've kept the feelings in an old box at the back of my cluttered mind, but they have been resurfacing more lately. Not really sure what to do because some of my girls have told me that he's come to them with a similar dilemma. They say that he likes me but isn't sure what to do since he dated my sister and only realised he liked me after the fact. They broke up after dating for only about a month (never even had a first kiss together) in order for my sister to focus more on studying, so there wasn't any harsh feelings, but she really doesn't like talking about him anymore and refuses to even hear me say his name.🥲

It's all just so wonderfully complicated.... Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do?

Reply 1

brooklynbaby222

you need to speak to your sister and be honest, tell her that you have feelings for this guy but you’re holding back from acting on it, in order to be respectful towards her. Ask how she’d feel if you were to pursue anything, if she expresses discomfort or flat out tells you she would find it strange and uncomfortable, then you leave it. There’s a lot of boys out there that you can explore connections with, don’t jeopardise your relationship with your sister over a boy x

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

It's not complicated at all.

You should broaden your horizons instead of living in a glass bubble. There's loads more guys out there than this guy. Go get one of them.

It's fine if you have secret sexual fantasies about this guy. But in terms of you actually doing anything, leave it out. Because your sis is your sis. And guys are 10 a penny.

It sounds like what you should also do is to work on your woman to man social skills. Your competence at breaking the ice with people. Interacting with men in ways they are more likely to find you attractive.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

It's not complicated at all.
You should broaden your horizons instead of living in a glass bubble. There's loads more guys out there than this guy. Go get one of them.
It's fine if you have secret sexual fantasies about this guy. But in terms of you actually doing anything, leave it out. Because your sis is your sis. And guys are 10 a penny.
It sounds like what you should also do is to work on your woman to man social skills. Your competence at breaking the ice with people. Interacting with men in ways they are more likely to find you attractive.

Yeah... I've plenty of guy friends and more pursuers than I'm comfortable with, but I just can't shake him for some reason... Not sure if variety is the problem, but I guess I could be a bit more open to looking for other people I'm interested in. :/

Reply 4

elareare

Original post by Anonymous

Okay, so there's this guy. I've been friends with him since forever and we're really close. He and my sister dated a while back. I realised I liked him right around the time my sister told me she was into him, so I've kept my mouth shut. I've kept the feelings in an old box at the back of my cluttered mind, but they have been resurfacing more lately. Not really sure what to do because some of my girls have told me that he's come to them with a similar dilemma. They say that he likes me but isn't sure what to do since he dated my sister and only realised he liked me after the fact. They broke up after dating for only about a month (never even had a first kiss together) in order for my sister to focus more on studying, so there wasn't any harsh feelings, but she really doesn't like talking about him anymore and refuses to even hear me say his name.🥲
It's all just so wonderfully complicated.... Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do?

ask ur sister before doing anything. you don't want to argue over a stupid boy with your blood relative!

Reply 5

Bluefoxy09

Crushes on guys that you’ve known for a long time is incredibly common and I presume your sister knew him for a similar time to you.
As another commenter mentioned, don’t let this cause a rift between you and your sister and by the sounds of it she wasn’t that interested in him anyway.

If you genuinely like him, then talk to your sister but make sure he genuinely likes you aswell and isn’t just being a typical guy who wants what he can’t have.

Hope this helps, but happy to chat if you need to

Reply 6

JDINCINERATOR

Original post by Anonymous

Okay, so there's this guy. I've been friends with him since forever and we're really close. He and my sister dated a while back. I realised I liked him right around the time my sister told me she was into him, so I've kept my mouth shut. I've kept the feelings in an old box at the back of my cluttered mind, but they have been resurfacing more lately. Not really sure what to do because some of my girls have told me that he's come to them with a similar dilemma. They say that he likes me but isn't sure what to do since he dated my sister and only realised he liked me after the fact. They broke up after dating for only about a month (never even had a first kiss together) in order for my sister to focus more on studying, so there wasn't any harsh feelings, but she really doesn't like talking about him anymore and refuses to even hear me say his name.🥲
It's all just so wonderfully complicated.... Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do?

I think you need to follow what you want and not worry about how your sister might feel. Sounds harsh and might create a rift, but you want this person, so that's your life and it's up to you if you want him or not. You don't need anybody's permission to feel a certain way. Do what you want and bear whatever consequences that may be wrought from it-because that's how you grow up and evolve.