How much do guys care about body count

I have a body count of two (both while in a relationship) and have never hooked up with anyone. I have a difficult relationship with sex. I want to have a meaningful relationship where the person values me beyond my body, and so wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex with anyone within the first few months of a relationship.

I’m just scared that no one will date me if I don’t want to “put out”. I’m also scared that the kind of guy who would respect me not wanting to have a sexual relationship before the romantic relationship is more serious wouldn’t want to date me because I’ve already slept with someone before.

How much do guys actually care about this stuff? How many guys would respect my boundaries on this?

Reply 1

MysteryyyGirl86

if they're the right kind of guy, they won't care that you want to take things slow and will respect your boundaries. they also won't care about the second thing and will value you just for being you. my advice is to just take your time, there's no rush to be in a relationship and you'll find the right guy eventually

Reply 2

Rakas21

Original post by Anonymous

I have a body count of two (both while in a relationship) and have never hooked up with anyone. I have a difficult relationship with sex. I want to have a meaningful relationship where the person values me beyond my body, and so wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex with anyone within the first few months of a relationship.
I’m just scared that no one will date me if I don’t want to “put out”. I’m also scared that the kind of guy who would respect me not wanting to have a sexual relationship before the romantic relationship is more serious wouldn’t want to date me because I’ve already slept with someone before.
How much do guys actually care about this stuff? How many guys would respect my boundaries on this?

High body count is basically an amber flag but it's context dependent and certainly not a red flag in many situations.

Academic data does appear to suggest that women who are promiscuous before marriage are also highly likely to divorce so it's something that raises the eyebrow.

With that being said, I'm neither a prude nor naive enough to believe that non-religious women are likely to remain 'innocent' until marriage.

I generally take the view that women who more or less only sleep with men in relationships (and can sustain a relationship over 1+ year durations) are likely to have a healthy emotional relationship with sex and are the optimum.

When I say it's context dependent, it essentially comes down to whether sleeping around is a recent pattern of behaviour or whether they racked up 15 of the 20 a few years ago. Over the years I've become more discerning about not wasting time with women who I'm not likely to be with more than a few months, if a woman is recently promiscuous or allows herself to be put in situationships (basically the guy won't commit but she's too weak to cut him off) then the chances that she's going to be able to sustain a long term multi year relationship are low.

For your situation OP, I imagine more people will have a problem waiting than the fact you've had sex previously but if you believe that a man who can wait is of higher quality than men who won't (as opposed to just not having any other option) then go ahead.

I personally don't wait but then if a woman of say 25 had a body count of 2, I might be more willing to because it would (assuming she were attractive and therefore could have slept around) suggest that she took commitment more seriously and those are good qualities in the long term.

In short, don't worry about it OP. Assuming you want long term commitment then it's no bad thing for a woman to be picky before she's 30 (afterwards, one could question if standards are too high given that fertility declines and you don't want to leave it late).

Reply 3

Zarek

The thing with body count is more about a lot of casual sex, even then it matters little if they find you attractive. What’s your experience on waiting with your previous relationships. I would say a few months would be fine if the relationship is good and things are progressing in that direction

Reply 4

Little pecker

If it’s too low it’s a red flag

Reply 5

needfriends

Only insecure misogynist cares, open minded hindu like me appreciates high partner count

Reply 6

StriderHort

It will just depend hugely on the individual.

Wanting to wait until you are serious with someone and caring about their past are different things. If someone told me that they've had partners before but had mixed experiences and wanted to take things slower next time it wouldn't be confusing.

Reply 7

Smack

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

Two partners, especially in the context of relationships, isn't high. The men who actively prefer virgins are likely to be either very religious or traditional, or not very desirable.

Reply 8

Wired_1800

Original post by Anonymous

I have a body count of two (both while in a relationship) and have never hooked up with anyone. I have a difficult relationship with sex. I want to have a meaningful relationship where the person values me beyond my body, and so wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex with anyone within the first few months of a relationship.
I’m just scared that no one will date me if I don’t want to “put out”. I’m also scared that the kind of guy who would respect me not wanting to have a sexual relationship before the romantic relationship is more serious wouldn’t want to date me because I’ve already slept with someone before.
How much do guys actually care about this stuff? How many guys would respect my boundaries on this?

The concept of body count and its acceptance is subjective to the guy. Some guys want girls with really low or non-existent bodies and others are okay with those who have had an active sex life in the past.

It is generally advisable to stick with people who share similar values as you. If you want to be with a guy who would not care, don't go for the overly conservative or religious types who secretly want to marry virgins but afraid to say so.

Also, if you meet a guy who wants a girl with low body count, please do not shame him because you don't meet his preference. Just part ways and wish each other the best. You can comment on hypocrites though; those who want women with low body counts but lash other women.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

I waited a long time with one relationship. The second one wasn’t healthy and I got pressured into it quite early on, which is why I now want sex to be strictly off the table from the get go moving forward.

Reply 10

JDINCINERATOR

I don't care about body count at all. I don't really think about the other men who've laid their seeds inside my partner, that's just not healthy to think about or pay any attention to. Loyalty and closeness is all that should matter in a relationship.

Reply 11

YoungG-OG

Original post by Anonymous

I have a body count of two (both while in a relationship) and have never hooked up with anyone. I have a difficult relationship with sex. I want to have a meaningful relationship where the person values me beyond my body, and so wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex with anyone within the first few months of a relationship.
I’m just scared that no one will date me if I don’t want to “put out”. I’m also scared that the kind of guy who would respect me not wanting to have a sexual relationship before the romantic relationship is more serious wouldn’t want to date me because I’ve already slept with someone before.
How much do guys actually care about this stuff? How many guys would respect my boundaries on this?

I think it depends tbh ... some guys care less. In my experience guys you sleep around a fair bit can be more chill with this stuff (if they aren't hypocritical). Guys that tend to go for more serious relationships may be more off-put. Then again there are unreasonable people in both camps. I think it is better to err on the side of caution tbh, but like ... for me personally body count of two whilst in relationships I would be less bothered by then say hook-ups. Also feel like if you feel you need to put out then probs that specific relationship isn't the right vibe.