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how to get the most out of counselling

I'm about to start year 13 and i'm really not feeling great. I won't go into too much detail but essentially i have no motivation or want to do anything and everything feels a bit pointless etc etc.
I tried counselling last year through college (for the second time, the first time being with CAMHS a few years ago) but i stopped after a few sessions after my counselor asked me if i wanted to continue because i seemed anxious/uncomfortable and because i couldn't tell her exactly what i wanted to get out of counselling so she wasn't sure how to help me (she didn't mention this part when she asked me about continuing but she had asked me about it a couple times before.)
I don't think i looked especially uncomfortable (probably the normal amount for someone telling a stranger about their problems) and i was still very open with her about stuff so i'm not sure if that should've been an issue.
Anyway, i don't really know what else to do at the minute so i was thinking about trying counselling again but i don't know if i would just have the same problem this time. I still don't know what exactly i want to get out of it (in words) because i'm aware someone can't magically make me better but i really don't know what else i'm supposed to do. Maybe i just want advice? Maybe i just want someone to know how i feel? (idk i just could've sworn people were supposed to talk about their problems) But then i don't know what advice someone could give me.
So if anyone has any advice on how i can get the most out of counselling and actually make it work for myself that would be great. Or on what i could do instead to feel less awful if counselling just isn't for me :smile: thanks
Original post by Anonymous
I'm about to start year 13 and i'm really not feeling great. I won't go into too much detail but essentially i have no motivation or want to do anything and everything feels a bit pointless etc etc.
I tried counselling last year through college (for the second time, the first time being with CAMHS a few years ago) but i stopped after a few sessions after my counselor asked me if i wanted to continue because i seemed anxious/uncomfortable and because i couldn't tell her exactly what i wanted to get out of counselling so she wasn't sure how to help me (she didn't mention this part when she asked me about continuing but she had asked me about it a couple times before.)
I don't think i looked especially uncomfortable (probably the normal amount for someone telling a stranger about their problems) and i was still very open with her about stuff so i'm not sure if that should've been an issue.
Anyway, i don't really know what else to do at the minute so i was thinking about trying counselling again but i don't know if i would just have the same problem this time. I still don't know what exactly i want to get out of it (in words) because i'm aware someone can't magically make me better but i really don't know what else i'm supposed to do. Maybe i just want advice? Maybe i just want someone to know how i feel? (idk i just could've sworn people were supposed to talk about their problems) But then i don't know what advice someone could give me.
So if anyone has any advice on how i can get the most out of counselling and actually make it work for myself that would be great. Or on what i could do instead to feel less awful if counselling just isn't for me :smile: thanks

Hey anon,

My name is Gabby, I've been in counselling since 2020 for anxiety disorder so I'm hoping I might be able to offer you some advice.

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear you're not feeling great, it takes a lot of courage to admit that and take steps to try and make yourself feel better.

It can be hard talking to a stranger about your problems and while you might not have looked uncomfortable and remained open, your counsellor may have thought you weren't making much progress, particularly if you weren't sure what you want/need out of counselling.

Counselling can help you with lots of different things - you might want to consider if some of these might benefit you:

Developing coping mechanisms such as grounding techniques + mindfulness

Exploring why you are feeling a certain way and getting to the root cause of it so you can address it

Exploring patterns to do with your symptoms so you can identify triggers and work through them

Having a dedicated space to express your feelings and get things off your chest


As you say, counselling can't make you better, but it can help you learn about yourself and give you steps in order for you to take care of yourself better and understand your own needs so you can begin to see improvement.

Wanting someone to understand how you feel is totally valid and counselling is a good resource to get this - counsellors can't specifically give advice for your problems as they can't make decisions for you, but they can help you look at options and consider how it might make you feel/benefit you.

I would try counselling again, because it could also be that your original counsellor just wasn't a good fit for you.

Another thing I would try is writing some thoughts throughout the week of things you want to discuss - it could be a particular incident you had, a feeling you've noticed come up, a pattern you want to explore etc, and then also keeping a reflection log after your sessions so you can reflect on what helped, what you didn't like and what you are beginning to learn about yourself.

Other things you could try instead of counselling is keeping a diary, having a creative outlet, getting active and actively practicing self-care and mindfulness to improve your mood.

I hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions.

Best of luck with your journey, I hope you feel better soon.
Gabby
Hi There

We understand that you are about to start Year 13. It is great that you have accessed counselling before. It is worth noting that there are different types of counselling available which are listed on the NHS website. It could be that you didn’t find the sessions helpful because you weren’t accessing the right type of counselling for you at the time 🫶

In addition to counselling there are other types of support available. To see which support is available you can use the Hub of Hope search engine to see what is available locally to you 🔍

You have done really well to use this space to be honest about how you are feeling. If you are feeling like suicide is an option right now then you can call Hopeline247 on 0800 068 4141 or Text us on 88247 to speak with a trained Suicide Prevention Adviser who will be more than happy to help 💟
(edited 5 months ago)

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