Friends mad didn’t tell them uni date

I love my friends. Most of them are taking gap years after not receiving the offers they wanted to university. Recently I disappeared for a day due to personal issues on social media. I also didn’t tell them the date I am leaving. I didn’t think it was important and most of them can’t even hang out by then. I am leaving by the 18th/19th. They think it’s soon and some are angry that I was going to let it get closer to the date without telling them but honestly it’s just in my nature. I am not an emotional person and hate vulnerable moments or getting people upset and feel uncomfortable talking about university around them since I know what they are going through . I don’t want it to sound like I am throwing stuff in their face. I am really not so I keep most stuff to myself but today I had to reveal everything like when I plan to pack and stuff. I feel guilty but high-key would be relived if they cut me off. I love them but I want a fresh start. They have been good to me but they are also a reminder of a past life I want to forget and to build upon. But also I don’t think I deserve them in all honesty.

Reply 1

StriderHort

You open by saying you love your friends then spend a paragraph telling us you don't give a single **** about them.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by StriderHort

You open by saying you love your friends then spend a paragraph telling us you don't give a single **** about them.

It’s not like that. I feel weighed down by my past and mistakes. I want to change and grow and they kind of bring back bad memories. I really do care for them but I feel like it has come to a point where I have become a bad friend to all of them. The way I treated them and festered some on/off resentment for them was just not good. They don’t see it but I know what I was thinking when I said every word or action

Reply 3

Dunnig Kruger

Send them all a stock photo of your university with a caption that goes something like "Greetings from Manchester. Wish you were here. The weather's lovely. If you like rain."
Followed a day later by "Just kidding. I'm not there yet."
Followed a day after that with a photo of a degree certificate with the caption "I'm over the moon! I've just graduated with First Class Honours in BSc Rocket Science. These accelerated modules really are something."

Reply 4

StriderHort

Original post by Anonymous

That's the same again, you say it's not like that then go on to tell me its totally like that.

This is all about associations and your mistakes by the sound of it, I'm not seeing any genuine care about the actual friendships or how they would fell when you ghost them, you've just unilaterally decided things are over. I obv dunno the full story, but this sounds a lot like not caring about them.

The problem with fresh starts is you still need to take yourself, there's no truly clean break unless you make peace with your past and self.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by StriderHort

That's the same again, you say it's not like that then go on to tell me its totally like that.
This is all about associations and your mistakes by the sound of it, I'm not seeing any genuine care about the actual friendships or how they would fell when you ghost them, you've just unilaterally decided things are over. I obv dunno the full story, but this sounds a lot like not caring about them.
The problem with fresh starts is you still need to take yourself, there's no truly clean break unless you make peace with your past and self.

I don’t know man. I don’t like myself. I don’t like who i was. In my head I think they feel sad at first but will quickly rejoice and enjoy life without me. At uni, I don’t even if I should make friends or date. I just feel like a burden to people and my friends remind of that constantly. I always feel like I am a nuisance to them. That’s I don’t want to be around them. It just feels like they have to put up with me