The Student Room Group

How to deal with bumping into people from your past?

I stopped working at my last job last year in October. I can’t believe it! It feels like yesterday. Anyway when I was doing that job I was a lot smaller in terms of my weight but due to quite a bad period with my eating disorder I ended up gaining 5 kg which affected my confidence a lot. I can generally still wear my clothes as normal but some fit a bit more tighter than usual. Also when I gain weight it tends to also show up in my face. This is probably more of my insecurity than anything. Some people may not even notice or see it as a big deal. Anyway, today I think I saw one of my old colleagues from that job and she was essentially the main reason plus also my manager why I ended up going on sick leave and eventually leaving my job. I just feel so triggered as I’ve not wanted anyone to see me with my weight gain and it was also near my local area where I live. I’m not 100% sure it was her, it could’ve been a look a like. Her hair was also shorter than from before. Anyway from the voice and general appearance I think it may have been her. Luckily the bus came and I got on as quickly as I could. There was this annoying woman who was in front of me with her dog and I just was getting so angry like HURRY UP. I didn’t say it but I was thinking god hurry up. I just wanted to get out of there really quickly.

In spite of the weight gain though I have experienced other more positive things in my life in terms of my career and potentially a financial windfall in the next few months.

All in all, how would you say I should deal with these sorts of situations?
(edited 3 months ago)
Reply 1
Original post by Butterflywings24
I stopped working at my last job last year in October. I can’t believe it! It feels like yesterday. Anyway when I was doing that job I was a lot smaller in terms of my weight but due to quite a bad period with my eating disorder I ended up gaining 5 kg which affected my confidence a lot. I can generally still wear my clothes as normal but some fit a bit more tighter than usual. Also when I gain weight it tends to also show up in my face. This is probably more of my insecurity than anything. Some people may not even notice or see it as a big deal. Anyway, today I think I saw one of my old colleagues from that job and she was essentially the main reason plus also my manager why I ended up going on sick leave and eventually leaving my job. I just feel so triggered as I’ve not wanted anyone to see me with my weight gain and it was also near my local area where I live. I’m not 100% sure it was her, it could’ve been a look a like. Her hair was also shorter than from before. Anyway from the voice and general appearance I think it may have been her. Luckily the bus came and I got on as quickly as I could. There was this annoying woman who was in front of me with her dog and I just was getting so angry like HURRY UP. I didn’t say it but I was thinking god hurry up. I just wanted to get out of there really quickly.
In spite of the weight gain though I have experienced other more positive things in my life in terms of my career and potentially a financial windfall in the next few months.
All in all, how would you say I should deal with these sorts of situations?

Hi, I had an eating disorder in my early teens and I really struggled with this when I went back to school. It gets better with time. When you first gain the weight back that’s the time you feel most self conscious of it, but once you maintain for a while it feels more normal, and overtime you become less self conscious of it. And like you said her hair was shorter, everyone changes overtime, weight gain in recovery is just gaining back what you should’ve never lost in the first place🙂 I promise there are so many more interesting things about you, than your weight🫶 it’s hard but keep reminding yourself of why your recovering, and the positive things you’ve gained like your career since then
Original post by Mgrace894
Hi, I had an eating disorder in my early teens and I really struggled with this when I went back to school. It gets better with time. When you first gain the weight back that’s the time you feel most self conscious of it, but once you maintain for a while it feels more normal, and overtime you become less self conscious of it. And like you said her hair was shorter, everyone changes overtime, weight gain in recovery is just gaining back what you should’ve never lost in the first place🙂 I promise there are so many more interesting things about you, than your weight🫶 it’s hard but keep reminding yourself of why your recovering, and the positive things you’ve gained like your career since then

Hi thanks so much for commenting. I sense that you are assuming I’m anorexic or something and gained weight to become healthy or something. My weight was gained as a result of struggling to control my binge eating as opposed to a steady and conscious manner. For me losing the weight I gained will help me feel more like myself as I didn’t intend to gain it. But in spite of that it has also had the knock on effect of helping my brain function better as I suppose any food is good food when you’ve been restricting long term. But Yhh I want to restore my weight then just go into a maintenance phase of eating. That for me would be recovery.

Again, not entirely sure it was her, but if it was, you’re right everyone does change over time.

That’s exactly what I was trying to tell myself, that I’m more than my weight. I’ve had so many other wins in my life too .

Thanks so much for your comment, it’s really helped me this morning
Reply 3
I totally understand how you’re feeling. I had a similar experience when I ran into an old colleague recently and felt super self-conscious about my weight gain. It’s tough when you’re already feeling insecure and then something like this happens. What helped me was focusing on the positive things going on in my life, like new career opportunities or personal wins. Try to remind yourself that people change and probably aren’t as focused on your appearance as you might think. And if you’re feeling anxious, it’s okay—just be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time.
Original post by NathanL
I totally understand how you’re feeling. I had a similar experience when I ran into an old colleague recently and felt super self-conscious about my weight gain. It’s tough when you’re already feeling insecure and then something like this happens. What helped me was focusing on the positive things going on in my life, like new career opportunities or personal wins. Try to remind yourself that people change and probably aren’t as focused on your appearance as you might think. And if you’re feeling anxious, it’s okay—just be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time.

Thanks so much Nathan!

I think for me it’s also just learning to stop caring what people think, whether I’m doing well or not. They are in my past for a reason and they do not have that much power over me.

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