The Student Room Group

I'm scared of making friends at University

I've just finished Sixth Form and I'm about to head into my 1st year of University to start my undergraduate degree. I've been really excited to start the degree, but I'm super nervous of the social-aspect.

For context, I didn't really have any friends in secondary school. A few people I was aquainted with, maybe, but no one I had a particularly close or meaningful bond with, I struggled with social anxiety throughout my time at Secondary School and Sixth Form to a lesser extent. Whilst I made friends at Sixth Form thanks to my anxiety easing and efforts I've taken to get out of my comfort zone, they weren't friendships I could call long-lasting and in some-ways superficial.

I suffer less of social anxiety/awkwardness now, I can go to people and talk to them and hold a conversation which was something I used to be incapable of. It's just general anxiety now. I'm not a drinker in the slightest, not for religious reasons, I just don't want to drink any alcohol as a personal preference. I'm also not big on parties or clubbing, I'm introverted and much prefer calmer activities and/or doing activities in smaller groups. I'm really nervous I won't be able to make friends during freshers and University as a whole.

Anyone else experiencing this? I'm really nervous.
Original post by LoafOfBread05
I've just finished Sixth Form and I'm about to head into my 1st year of University to start my undergraduate degree. I've been really excited to start the degree, but I'm super nervous of the social-aspect.
For context, I didn't really have any friends in secondary school. A few people I was aquainted with, maybe, but no one I had a particularly close or meaningful bond with, I struggled with social anxiety throughout my time at Secondary School and Sixth Form to a lesser extent. Whilst I made friends at Sixth Form thanks to my anxiety easing and efforts I've taken to get out of my comfort zone, they weren't friendships I could call long-lasting and in some-ways superficial.
I suffer less of social anxiety/awkwardness now, I can go to people and talk to them and hold a conversation which was something I used to be incapable of. It's just general anxiety now. I'm not a drinker in the slightest, not for religious reasons, I just don't want to drink any alcohol as a personal preference. I'm also not big on parties or clubbing, I'm introverted and much prefer calmer activities and/or doing activities in smaller groups. I'm really nervous I won't be able to make friends during freshers and University as a whole.
Anyone else experiencing this? I'm really nervous.

Hi @LoafOfBread05,

It is often a worrying time for everyone moving to university so everyone will be in a similar boat.

For me I found it good to just take little steps. I met one of my flatmates first whilst moving in and got to know her first and then the a few others moved in and I felt more comfortable because I already had a friend. After that we all went together to go and meet our neighbours and after a few days we all got along really well. Then you have a small network that helps you feel more comfortable to branch out maybe at a freshers events or joining a society.

University is a great place to put yourself out there and meet lots of new people. However, moving away from home and starting a new course can be a stressful time so no one is expected to be outgoing and make hundreds of friends on day one.

I hope this helps ease some of your nerves and I hope you have a great time.
Abby - UoS 4th year student
Original post by LoafOfBread05
I've just finished Sixth Form and I'm about to head into my 1st year of University to start my undergraduate degree. I've been really excited to start the degree, but I'm super nervous of the social-aspect.
For context, I didn't really have any friends in secondary school. A few people I was aquainted with, maybe, but no one I had a particularly close or meaningful bond with, I struggled with social anxiety throughout my time at Secondary School and Sixth Form to a lesser extent. Whilst I made friends at Sixth Form thanks to my anxiety easing and efforts I've taken to get out of my comfort zone, they weren't friendships I could call long-lasting and in some-ways superficial.
I suffer less of social anxiety/awkwardness now, I can go to people and talk to them and hold a conversation which was something I used to be incapable of. It's just general anxiety now. I'm not a drinker in the slightest, not for religious reasons, I just don't want to drink any alcohol as a personal preference. I'm also not big on parties or clubbing, I'm introverted and much prefer calmer activities and/or doing activities in smaller groups. I'm really nervous I won't be able to make friends during freshers and University as a whole.
Anyone else experiencing this? I'm really nervous.

Hi @LoafOfBread05

Abby has some great advice here. 🙂

Your nerves and concerns are totally normal, and I can imagine most new students are feeling pretty similar to yourself right now.

I know here at BCU there are lots of Freshers' events that don't centre around drinking/clubbing, like the welcome fair, quiz nights, society taster sessions, and even a trip to Ikea! So maybe have a look if your new uni offers some events you like the look of and make some plans to give them a go. You could ask your new flat mates when you arrive, or I'm sure you could try to find people at the activities once you're there.

When I first started uni, I found that almost everyone was open to chatting, so if you're comfortable, why not start up a conversation. You never know, it may just be a nice conversation, or it may be the start of a great friendship. I always find dropping a compliment to someone never really goes amiss.

I'd always recommend new students to give societies a go too. I love my flat mates and course mates, but societies can be a really great way to meet people from different parts of your uni. And I also found meeting students in different years of study was also nice to get other student perspectives. I'm not sure if your uni will offer this, but I also work as a student ambassador, where I help out at open days. This has helped me meet more students on campus. And even though I don't always see these students, it's always nice to be able to recognize a friendly ace and simply say 'hi' when you're in uni.

I hope you enjoy your new start! 🙂 Best of luck!
Emily
Student Rep at BCU
Thank you both :smile:
Original post by LoafOfBread05
I've just finished Sixth Form and I'm about to head into my 1st year of University to start my undergraduate degree. I've been really excited to start the degree, but I'm super nervous of the social-aspect.
For context, I didn't really have any friends in secondary school. A few people I was aquainted with, maybe, but no one I had a particularly close or meaningful bond with, I struggled with social anxiety throughout my time at Secondary School and Sixth Form to a lesser extent. Whilst I made friends at Sixth Form thanks to my anxiety easing and efforts I've taken to get out of my comfort zone, they weren't friendships I could call long-lasting and in some-ways superficial.
I suffer less of social anxiety/awkwardness now, I can go to people and talk to them and hold a conversation which was something I used to be incapable of. It's just general anxiety now. I'm not a drinker in the slightest, not for religious reasons, I just don't want to drink any alcohol as a personal preference. I'm also not big on parties or clubbing, I'm introverted and much prefer calmer activities and/or doing activities in smaller groups. I'm really nervous I won't be able to make friends during freshers and University as a whole.
Anyone else experiencing this? I'm really nervous.

Hi

Please try not to worry about this!

There are lots of people in a similar situation and they during fresher's week there are events for everyone not just people who like drinking.

In addition to this, you will be able to make friends with people who are on your course as you will have a common interest and therefore it can be easier to make connections and friends more easily.

I hope this helps,

Matt
Wrexham Uni Reps

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