Is this controlling or not?

Long story short a while back my dad smashed my phone and didn’t bother to buy me a new one so because I have a part time job I bought myself a new one. I’ve been using iPhones since 2016 roughly so it’s what I’m kind of used to. I have used Androids in between that time frame and they’re not just my personal preference. Anyways, my dad has been saying if I don’t return back the phone I’ve bought myself, that I’m ungrateful and all sorts of things. My mum as well has been saying the same just return the phone and get an android because that’s what my dad wants. I’m not too sure what to even do because I can’t even make decisions of what mobile phone I can use when I’m already 18. Really tired of this. He’s took my debit cards and ID before as well when I got a tattoo because he didn’t like it… A tattoo you can’t even see lol😭

i'm not even sure why what phone you have matters... well it's controlling for sure, taking your money and documents.

keep it

Long story short a while back my dad smashed my phone and didn’t bother to buy me a new one so because I have a part time job I bought myself a new one. I’ve been using iPhones since 2016 roughly so it’s what I’m kind of used to. I have used Androids in between that time frame and they’re not just my personal preference. Anyways, my dad has been saying if I don’t return back the phone I’ve bought myself, that I’m ungrateful and all sorts of things. My mum as well has been saying the same just return the phone and get an android because that’s what my dad wants. I’m not too sure what to even do because I can’t even make decisions of what mobile phone I can use when I’m already 18. Really tired of this. He’s took my debit cards and ID before as well when I got a tattoo because he didn’t like it… A tattoo you can’t even see lol😭

Tbh I really don’t know. When he had smashed my phone to begin with, he then made me give him money from my own account and bought me those Nokia brick phones as a ‘punishment’. He says how me using an iPhone won’t help me become successful in life and all sorts of rubbish, he makes no sense. He also said if I was to buy the iPhone he would ‘kick me out’ for choosing a mobile brand over my family, which is pretty manipulative. He also said he wants me to get an android so he can download like spyware software on it. My mum keeps pressuring me to return the phone but I keep saying no but clearly no body bothers to acknowledge my choices. I even told my dad it’s my choice and preference and he just said im addicted to apple products. I don’t even ask him to buy me anything or do things for me anyways. I do it all myself.

If your 18 then you should reject getting rid of that phone. If he steals your ID or bank card, he's committing theft as your now an adult.

Are you by any chance Asian OP? I’m Asian myself and my parents literally were like this taking my phone away saying I was on it too much and that it was distracting me from study, it sounds like you have Asian parents from what I’m hearing. I’m sorry you’re in such a situation. I would advise you to get out of there and move out as soon as you can. Hope you’re alright.

Hey! I’m not Asian, my dad is fully African and my mother is mixed race so she’s half African and then European(Greek). She’s not as bad compared to my dad but sometimes she’s got no choice because my dad likes to blame her saying she’s the reason why I’m ‘disobeying him’ when it’s not. I’m just trying to be independent and make decisions for myself. I hope you’re okay as well. I’m still going to keep the phone and let them all scream and shout because the micromanaging in this household is wild

I often wonder whether Asian/African parents who are like this have a lot going on in their lives. Like, who has the time and energy to get stressed over what phone their adult child has bought with their own money. Wild.

Hey! I’m not Asian, my dad is fully African and my mother is mixed race so she’s half African and then European(Greek). She’s not as bad compared to my dad but sometimes she’s got no choice because my dad likes to blame her saying she’s the reason why I’m ‘disobeying him’ when it’s not. I’m just trying to be independent and make decisions for myself. I hope you’re okay as well. I’m still going to keep the phone and let them all scream and shout because the micromanaging in this household is wild

Long story short a while back my dad smashed my phone and didn’t bother to buy me a new one so because I have a part time job I bought myself a new one. I’ve been using iPhones since 2016 roughly so it’s what I’m kind of used to. I have used Androids in between that time frame and they’re not just my personal preference. Anyways, my dad has been saying if I don’t return back the phone I’ve bought myself, that I’m ungrateful and all sorts of things. My mum as well has been saying the same just return the phone and get an android because that’s what my dad wants. I’m not too sure what to even do because I can’t even make decisions of what mobile phone I can use when I’m already 18. Really tired of this. He’s took my debit cards and ID before as well when I got a tattoo because he didn’t like it… A tattoo you can’t even see lol😭

I often wonder whether Asian/African parents who are like this have a lot going on in their lives. Like, who has the time and energy to get stressed over what phone their adult child has bought with their own money. Wild.

As an Asian daughter (y13), my mum does the same kinda. time limit on my phone and blocks all apps apart from school stuff, duo and whatsapp and calcs. She gets ****ed a lot as well.

She says (when shes angry for (mildly) educational stuff) "we're Chinese and i feel obliged that we have to keep the educational standard up" kinda thing. also ig its kinda normal??