Can’t tell if I’m depressed
To preface, I know this is something I should probably talk to a therapist about. The waiting lists are so long (I’ve tried) and I can’t go private. This is simply to see if others can relate or give me advice on what it might mean.
I’m always really smiling and happy around my friends, cracking jokes and being hyperactive. I can’t tell if I’m faking it though. I’ve been feeling a strange sense of emptiness for a few years now. As soon as I say bye to them, my face drops, and I have that strange emptiness and numbness. I wouldn’t consider myself feeling anything at those times. Just nothing. I’ve been asked what happy means to me and I can’t find a definition for it in my mind. Same goes for love. I can’t feel it towards or from anyone. Nothing makes me feel the happiness I used to. But at the same time, I don’t cry too much or feel intensely sad. Maybe a bit sad. But a bearable sad. Something I’ve gotten used to. Guess you could say it’s normalised.
Around family, I am neutral. I don’t show my emotions that much. Alone I cry when I get overwhelmed but this isn’t every week. Maybe once every three weeks or so. I also have a chronic illness. I can’t tell whether this is normal or not. Do people do that? Act happy around their friends and then just switch to a state of nothingness, and can you call that depression? Genuine question.
I’m always really smiling and happy around my friends, cracking jokes and being hyperactive. I can’t tell if I’m faking it though. I’ve been feeling a strange sense of emptiness for a few years now. As soon as I say bye to them, my face drops, and I have that strange emptiness and numbness. I wouldn’t consider myself feeling anything at those times. Just nothing. I’ve been asked what happy means to me and I can’t find a definition for it in my mind. Same goes for love. I can’t feel it towards or from anyone. Nothing makes me feel the happiness I used to. But at the same time, I don’t cry too much or feel intensely sad. Maybe a bit sad. But a bearable sad. Something I’ve gotten used to. Guess you could say it’s normalised.
Around family, I am neutral. I don’t show my emotions that much. Alone I cry when I get overwhelmed but this isn’t every week. Maybe once every three weeks or so. I also have a chronic illness. I can’t tell whether this is normal or not. Do people do that? Act happy around their friends and then just switch to a state of nothingness, and can you call that depression? Genuine question.
As you said, it’s pretty tricky for someone on the internet to answer that!
Have you tried online counselling (unsure of your age but kooth is good if you’re a young person), im sure there will be some options out there for you to try
If you’re struggle to feel happy then it might be worth trying some pass times that you’ve maybe not done before or something you used to do but forgot about. You could try a new kind of art, starting teaching yourself guitar, try and learn a new language, try a new sport etc these things might help you to find happiness and also they might give you a nice sense of achievement
I hope things get better for you soon
Have you tried online counselling (unsure of your age but kooth is good if you’re a young person), im sure there will be some options out there for you to try
If you’re struggle to feel happy then it might be worth trying some pass times that you’ve maybe not done before or something you used to do but forgot about. You could try a new kind of art, starting teaching yourself guitar, try and learn a new language, try a new sport etc these things might help you to find happiness and also they might give you a nice sense of achievement
I hope things get better for you soon
Hi There
We understand that you have recognised some emotions and behaviours in yourself which you are wondering if they could be symptoms of Depression. We are not medically trained so we wouldn’t be able to tell you whether this was Depression or not. However your feelings are your own so they are valid and we want to make sure that you have access to support which you are really worthy of which can help you with how you are feeling right now 🫶
It is great to hear that you have been able to reach out for some support through Talking Therapies although we understand that you are currently on a waiting list to access this. It sounds like you mask how you are feeling around your friends but we are wondering if you would consider sharing how you are feeling right now with one of them. Often talking things through with someone that we trust can help us to navigate these feelings 💬
We encourage you to take a look at the Mind website which shares a bit more information and advice about Depression. It would be great if you could take a look at the useful contacts tab on the left hand side of their website as they have outlined some great organisations who can support you with how you are feeling right now 🤝
You have done really well to use this space to be honest about how you are feeling. If you are feeling like suicide is an option right now then you can call Hopeline247 on 0800 068 4141 or Text us on 88247 to speak with a trained Suicide Prevention Adviser who will be more than happy to help 💟
We understand that you have recognised some emotions and behaviours in yourself which you are wondering if they could be symptoms of Depression. We are not medically trained so we wouldn’t be able to tell you whether this was Depression or not. However your feelings are your own so they are valid and we want to make sure that you have access to support which you are really worthy of which can help you with how you are feeling right now 🫶
It is great to hear that you have been able to reach out for some support through Talking Therapies although we understand that you are currently on a waiting list to access this. It sounds like you mask how you are feeling around your friends but we are wondering if you would consider sharing how you are feeling right now with one of them. Often talking things through with someone that we trust can help us to navigate these feelings 💬
We encourage you to take a look at the Mind website which shares a bit more information and advice about Depression. It would be great if you could take a look at the useful contacts tab on the left hand side of their website as they have outlined some great organisations who can support you with how you are feeling right now 🤝
You have done really well to use this space to be honest about how you are feeling. If you are feeling like suicide is an option right now then you can call Hopeline247 on 0800 068 4141 or Text us on 88247 to speak with a trained Suicide Prevention Adviser who will be more than happy to help 💟
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