How to react to rejection?

I asked this girl I keep seeing out at the pub from uni last night - she said to ask her again in the morning, which I just took as a soft no… anyway she said I’m cute but it’s the first week of uni and she’s never dated before so it makes her nervous.. anyway I kept seeing her later that night and my flat was having afters so I just hey you could come along just because she seems like she’d be a chill friend bc by that point I’d forgotten about earlier and that but now I’m worried she thought I was just being pushy.. I just didn’t think it all through (being terribly drunk)

I did however end up sleeping with another girl last night who turns out to be friends with this girl. I feel really embarrassed and wish I never said anything to the first girl last night as I don’t wanna seem an *********.

How do I get past it/ could I apologise if I do see her out? Something like hey sorry about the other day I was awfully drunk and hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable..

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

Do you think you did anything wrong?

I don't think you did. Therefore you shouldn't apologise.

You shouldn't be ashamed nor apologetic about sleeping with her friend. You should own it.

For the long term, you should be working on getting along competently with women inside and outside the bedroom. So that when they gossip about you to their friends they're saying more good than bad.

Next time you see Miss Rejection you should have a friendly positive chat with her. And you should look to include her in your social circle.

You may also want to look into the booze. See if you can train yourself to go out and have just as much fun and be just as sociable whilst drinking nothing or keeping it to 1 drink per night.

Reply 2

JDINCINERATOR

Original post by Anonymous

I asked this girl I keep seeing out at the pub from uni last night - she said to ask her again in the morning, which I just took as a soft no… anyway she said I’m cute but it’s the first week of uni and she’s never dated before so it makes her nervous.. anyway I kept seeing her later that night and my flat was having afters so I just hey you could come along just because she seems like she’d be a chill friend bc by that point I’d forgotten about earlier and that but now I’m worried she thought I was just being pushy.. I just didn’t think it all through (being terribly drunk)
I did however end up sleeping with another girl last night who turns out to be friends with this girl. I feel really embarrassed and wish I never said anything to the first girl last night as I don’t wanna seem an *********.
How do I get past it/ could I apologise if I do see her out? Something like hey sorry about the other day I was awfully drunk and hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable..

I think you're putting too much stock into this girl who might not really be interested in you. You can't keep apologizing or bending over backwards for women. I know if you feel bad that's your mind telling you how to react, but I think in truth you wanted to sleep with this other girl and that's ok. Maybe you wanted clarity from the first lass and she didn't give it to you, so whilst drunk you moved on to someone else. Apologize if you feel it's right, but I wouldn't hold it against you, you made your decision and you have to own your decisions in life. If she was interested in you she should've been upfront, even though I know that for shy people that's really hard to do-but unfortunately being shy can make you lose out. Both her and you will learn and grow from these experiences and time will make you stronger.